Доброго вечора, ми з України

going on a guilt trip do yall want anything

if you really cared about me you wouldn't have to ask

Yahhh I have to build Rome. Yup it’s due tomorrow.. noo I haven’t started yet haha is that bad?

people foolishly dismiss desserts and treats as having no nutritional value when they actually are necessary for refilling your sanity stat. to prove my point please observe the emotional stability of the next person you meet who doesnt let themselves ever eat any form of dessert

I like characters who are women and they suck and are bad people. Bonus points if she never really faces consequences.

The thing about how you will talk like a tumblr user for the rest of your life is that usually people won’t clock it but sometimes you’ll meet someone and you’ll actually be able to see a look of painful recognition in their eyes when you say some tumblypoo bullshit while everyone else just thinks you had an epic original thought. And it’s gonna make you a little bit sorry you were born

Underappreciated act of love: when you become alert after hearing a noise thinking it is war-related and somebody notices it and says what it actually is. There's so much love in those "Car", "Neighbors dropped something", "Wind".

when i forget to log into ao3 and i have to click proceed to see an adult fic, i actually get a kick out of it. like i am an old timey queen and my bard is apologetic: “gentle lady, dicks doth touch in this next ballad. would you prefer another?” and i give him a gesture of command like, “nay, you may proceed, minstrel. bring forth the tale of dicks”

the number 1 rule of fanfic is have fun and be yourself. the number 2 rule is the average healthy adult male can lose roughly 2 liters of blood before dying.

The tumblrest sentence I have ever seen