⋆🐾° eli⋆🐾°

hayden pike is so interesting because everything could be true about him to me. he’s a good friend, he’s a bad friend, he’s mormon, he’s ex-mormon, he was at january 6th, he’s a state controlled secret agent sent to infiltrate the high ranks of corporations hunting for fraud but he lowkey got distracted and forgot about that, he’s the 15th best voyageur, he’s the second best voyageur, he doesn’t have a passcode on his phone, he’s the guy who accidentally became too important at work, he’s would do great as a mcdonald’s manager.

Marly is literally putting trixie makeup on for the first day of pride so he can match ilya’s katya beat and you don’t even care…….. hes about to cut crease right now…..

Someone at my job is reading Game Changer. Left it sitting cover-up in the teacher’s lounge. Jump scared by Scott Hunter in my own place of work. Is this what being Ilya Rozanov is like.

save me, rice mixed with some bullshit

there are too many things happening this summer that i'm thinking we are going to need an extra 6-12 months of june and possibly another 3-4 months of july. probably no extra august as the problem should hopefully sort itself out by then. we are also looking into extending the day night cycle to 55 hours and extending the human lifespan to 10000 years.

While it’s technically true, anytime I see a post that’s like “Hayden Pike is a great player actually, you guys are taking Ilya’s chirps too seriously”, I imagine it’s Hayden posting on a burner account while crying

But does everyone understand that this is a Osmar Schindler reference? It is vital to me that everyone knows this is the 2026 version of an oil paint from 1902 conveying themes of power, violence, youth, and homoeroticism and that it is so precisely on point.