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jonas brothers on the radio… people watching fruits basket… it’s really 2009 again huh 

hey guys i’m so sorry

i’m so happy for her

I’m happy she’s back

today i was talking to my coworker jess and she said to me “i’ve been trying to think of how to tell my husband that i want a horse. i’m really non confrontational and i don’t know how to tell him. like, thanks for the flowers, but i want a horse.” and i was like, “well, you could always send him subliminal messages. like tape pictures of horses all over the walls and stuff” and she gave me this really weird look and was like “i said divorce not horse“ oh my god…

classic material

bastard keeps sprinting to get ahead of me then walks really slow so i accidentally kick him and then meows all pathetically like i attacked him

I’m sorry, does your cat’s name tag say “hello my name is bastard”

I hate these posts because they've gotten in my head, and when I was drunk in the passenger seat of my friends car last night I saw a cop in hi-vis directing traffic and my first thought was "ok he do be lookin kinda safe doe"

I don’t care why, this is hysterical.

are they at claires

A hospital gift shop but same energy tho

What’s it’s really like being a bisexual in 2018

Exactly. I guarantee she dressed like this before yall were together. There are plenty of women who prefer to dress more modest, if that's what you prefer why go after someone who is not?

And let’s be very clear, you shouldn’t be waiting for permission from your man to be doing anything.

we hate you john green

My name is not important. What is important is what I’m going to do… I just fuckin’ hate this world. And the human worms feasting on its carcass. My whole life is just cold, bitter hatred. And I always wanted to die violently. This is the time of vengeance and no life is worth saving. And I will put in the grave as many as I can. It’s time for me to kill. And it’s time for me to die. My genocide crusade begins here.

hey johny my bro relax