vegans in furs

being really into history is cooler than being into math or science… someone who likes math and science is called a “math nerd” or a “science geek” but someone who likes history is called a “history buff” because of their strong, sensual arms

you may have heard that thing about how tech people don't trust "smart" devices etc but what you probably havent heard from people who have to code from a living is computers are really dumb. they're dumb machines that have to be told what to do by people to make them work. and the device in your hand on your desk was told what to do by thousands of different people

you used to call me on my hands-free talking glove

I’m just wondering how they can possibly market this as hands-free

you can’t find posts like this on any other website

i get kidnapped by a rich creep and he does the whole "have dinner with me wearing this specific dress (or die)" thing and i'm like okay lol let's see the dress and it turns out the dress doesn't fit me because the loser just thought he could grab any old low-cut red dress off the rack because he's a man and so i have to explain that there are very very few dresses that actually fit my weird proportions and so we take the fancy dinner to go and spend four hours dress shopping and then sometime around dress #27 i make my daring escape and he doesn't even bother to pursue me because he's so tired of shopping

The first sentence was a left hook that I almost did not recover from.

The Dollskill brand copywriting bible… we found it…

this is like a clockwork orange but a girl

My mom got me the book series as a kid because I loved the movie. I never made it past the front page.

i have this disease called i will open your message and get distracted and forget to reply and then the notification will be gone so i will not have replied for ages and you will think i am ignoring you but. i am not. it’s incurable

Oh look, it’s entirely possible for a cisgender comedian to crack jokes about transgender people without being transphobic.

being in a completely normal nonthreatening scenario & environment and thinking “i have GOT to get the fuck out of here” with the intensity of some trapped neurotic prey animal

Me in every meeting

DELETE ALL NON-ACORN POSTS NOW!!!!!!!!!!! NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW FUCKING NOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!