HE WAS TALKING ABOUT WOMEN HERE?? SO HE DOESNT EVEN GET PEGGED?? BOOO

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@expectingtofly
HE WAS TALKING ABOUT WOMEN HERE?? SO HE DOESNT EVEN GET PEGGED?? BOOO

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oh did we deserve dean explaining bisexuality to mary….
dean doesn’t tell mary. i mean there’s nothing TO say, is there? not like dean’s gonna bring a guy home, atleast, not anyone who’s not cas. and cas, well— that’s a whole jar of feelings dean doesn’t wanna shake. doesn’t think she’ll get it anyway. if she does though, understand, that is, she won’t care a lot. probably. hopefully. it doesn’t feel like she cares a lot about dean, either way. so. he doesn’t tell mary.
he’s just sitting there, beer condensation wetting his palm. it’s guilt, and anger— always fucking anger, and perhaps gratefulness, and regretfully, more love. dean didn’t think it was possible. but cas is a dumb sonuvabitch, and dean is— well, doesn’t matter. what cas did was stupid, and dean doesn’t see any way they’re getting out of this Cosmic Consequence unscathed. he sighs when he hears footsteps approaching. mary doesn’t ask if she should join him, just gets a beer for herself, and sits facing him.
it’s too quiet for two people for a few minutes, then dean says, not making eye contact, “thanks.”
“mm,” she replies, and dean can feel her gearing up to say something heavy. instead, her voice is small when she says, “i wanted to talk to you about something.”
it’s heavy alright. it’s the darkest hour of the night and he is so tired, and he can tell it’s something that’s not gonna be easy to ‘talk’ about. “sure,” he says nevertheless. not that there was another answer. dean does what is asked of him to.
“it’s about, uh, cas.”
well fuck.
“and you,” she adds. “you an’ cas.”
fuck.
dean hasn’t looked her in the eye since they came back. not after billie. it’s like he can’t disappoint her enough. “what about cas?”
“are you seeing someone?” it’s abrupt. alrighty.
“uh, no? no.”
“i— i knew a,” she’s hesitating, he can tell, fingers circling the rim of the bottle she’s holding. “i had a friend who—”
“it’s not like that, mom. cas isn’t— he’s not.”
it’s mary who doesn’t look up at him when she says, “hear me out.”
dean stays quiet, so she continues, fingers now tracing the wet circle on the table. “i had a friend. before, before john. and before paul. after bart.”
“don’t tell me about your boyfriends, mom. it’s gross.”
“shut up.”
dean chuckles, and she looks up, then, smiling softly. she doesn’t look disappointed. or angry. she looks—
“well, my friend, uh. married a guy soon after we broke up.”
“mom,” he sighs, “cas ain’t li—”
“baby, lemme finish.”
“okay. okay i’m sorry.”
mary rubs at her eyes, and softer, says, “don’t be. it’s. she married a guy and i never really—”
it takes him a moment, but when it clicks, it fucking clicks. he gasps theatrically, and mary curls further into herself. she looks—
dean sees what’s happening, knows it too well. fortunately, knows how to make it better too. “so. heh. who knew my mom was quite the player, huh?”
mary looks at him, calculating, and a thin smile appears on her face. “hardly.”
“so….”
“so.”
dean takes a sip of the beer, not good now that it’s not cold. waits a moment. lets it sink. then says, clearly, “but not cas and me, mom.”
“oh.”
“yeah.”
“but it’s nothing, um. i know what john was like but it’s— it’s not a bad thing. it’s not wr-wrong.” it’s as more a question than it is a statement. mary looks—
“it’s not. it’s not wrong.” dean tells her; himself. it’s not. it’s not. it feels right is what it is. “it’s uh— called. bisexual. bisexuality. people who bat for both teams.”
“bisexual.” mary says. repeats. smiles.
a beat, then two. ten. twelve. twenty.
“i had friends too. before.” dean confesses. feels light, then heavy, but when mary looks at him without what he thought she’d feel, he feels light again. like air, really.
“not me an’ cas, though.”
there’s a sorry smile on his face, a smile that’s too open apparently, too visible, because whatever was on mary face changes to pity.
“oh, baby.” she takes both his hands in her now. all four palms are damp, but man does it feel warm to be enveloped in your mother’s palms. “you will be,” she says, so sure that dean’d believe her if he were four. he’s closer to forty now, so he simply laughs softly.
“hopefully.”
mary smiles at him. she looks—
she looks proud. “guess we’re not that different, huh?”
“guess not.”
🌊😇🤠🐶🚗🍔🏠
Not enough people talk about the fact that, when Dean disappears for weeks (becoming a demon), Sam finds an excuse to actually kick Cas out of the bunker.

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night of november 5th i could have lifted a car if i needed to
the best part of experiencing november 5th 2020 was watching tumblr attempt to describe what it was like to experience november 5th 2020
15x02 "Raising Hell" / 'Agent of Chaos', Dean Ellis (1978)
[part 31/?]
going up and down the dash high fiving everyone Good destiel. Good nov 5th. Good destiel. see you next year. good posting.
dan hillier, a new world
ben edlund, on the head of a pin

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they risked covid filming that
got a calendar notification reminding me to stop doom scrolling and clock into my celebrate destiel shift on tumblr 🫡
love how cas getting a houseplant would be a life altering moment (dean: how are u gonna keep that thing alive if you keep on comin n goin? cas: *squints* then i’ll stay)
I am working on a little something, so here is a mall part of it! Castiel :3

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Forgive me if this doesn't make sense but
Dean understands himself. He is not drowning in internalized homophobia. He doesn't not know that he's into men. What Dean is, however, is a liar. He lies to everyone, all the time. I think this touches on the queer experience in a way we dont always see in media. We always talk about coming out and coming out scenes but why never talk about why we come out. It's because of how difficult the lying is. But deans lied about everything, all his life. Not just about his sexuality, or things related to hunting. But he lies (directly or by ommission) about the music he likes, the clothes he likes, literally everything, just to fit into this box of what everyone expects him to be. He understands himself, you just don't have the critical thinking skills to see past his lies, you take his word at face value even though the show has told you repeatedly that dean is a liar
Wicked Game
Wicked Game by expectingtofly ( @expectingtofly) Rating: Explicit Word Count: 104k
The year is 1889 and for the past year and a half, Dean has traveled alone from town to town, drinking to ignore his guilt and gambling to make a living. Today, he’s especially down on his luck. He’s broke, was just thrown out of a saloon for cheating at poker, and has now been woken by a blue-eyed man trying to rob him. When he learns that the thief, Castiel, is just as broke as he is, they strike a tenuous deal to help each other rob a stagecoach, share the spoils, and split up. Turns out splitting up is the most difficult task. While Castiel is cold and cruel, Dean refuses to back down from a fight. The two are at odds more often than not, but their relationship only grows more complicated the longer they travel together. They may have more in common than they thought.
There's nothing this fandom loves more than a western, unless of course, that's getting to see Dean and Cas both overcoming their initial distrust and even dislike of each other to form a more profound bond. And if they get to cheat at some cards, rob a few stagecoaches, and end up having some damn good sex along the way... Well, so much the better!
Dean starts the story out as a down-on-his-luck gambler who spends most of his time getting drunk and being thrown out of saloons. Cas is the thief trying to rob him. Upon finding Dean slim pickings, Cas has another proposition: they team up together and rob a coach. When that job is successful, it leads to another, and then another--and then both Dean and Cas' past comes back to haunt the both of them.
Throughout the story, Cas is struggling with his past losses, and Dean is struggling with the guilt from his past mistakes. They both confront their demons however, and along the way, they create a partnership so strong that not even the threat of hanging can break it. Though neither Dean nor Cas is an angel (pun unavoidable) in this story, you'll find it impossible not to root for them to find their happy ending! 🤠
omg im so glad people are still enjoying this fic!! it’s my favorite destiel one i’ve written (and it’s pretty good if i do say so myself 🤭)