however small you may think this dog could be, it is sooo much smaller

it would be almost impossible to make but I would love to see a Robert Johnson biopic

“my father is a boy and my mother is a girl so i’m mixed” is the funniest possible response to someone asking your gender and it came from 6’5 Viking footballer and notable weird little guy Erling Haaland on a Snapchat

If your wife finds your sea people theory boring it is probably spurious and unsupported in the literature…

“I don’t understand why people 65+ would want to move across the country to retire to Florida?” They hate their grandkids and they hate paying taxes. I am so serious. It was always the meanest, nastiest, most selfish people moving to Florida and forcing their entire family to deal with the logistical nightmare. Source? My anecdotal experience with the grandparents of my friends growing up. Also, if you are a thoughtful person and you love your family and your family loves you, you are not going to leave them just to live somewhere sunnier.

it’s weird that professional letters are supposed to start with “dear.” i don’t even call my mom that

my darling hiring manager. my springtime rose. if hired i will bring a strong work ethic to this position

I didn’t know a train could be an eldritch horror, but here we are.

The Call of C'thchoochoo.

I’m starting to think some of y’all haven’t actually felt the rain on your skin… which is crazy because no one else can feel it for you

joe biden should do another stimulus check where the ira sends me a lox bagel. with cream cheese please

irs.