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"are you normal about-" no I'm an insane pervert

distance as a reality sucks shit i should be having an ill-advised overly handsy emotionally codependent homoerotic frienduationship with many of you but you live in fucking whoville

i should be making you dinner twice a week and adhering to the unspoken agreement that we don't need to talk about what happened when we were smoking together as long as it absolutely doesn't happen again but instead we're sending pictures of cartoon dogs back and forth captioned "this is you" because there are 1,500,000,000,000 miles of wheat field separating us it's all fucked it's all fucked. Bring me the head of Frederick Law Olmsted.

Call me mRNA because AUG AGA GGG UUU UUC AUG GUG GGA UGA

You should be allowed to cruise in bookstores

like if i see a tall woman in the sci fi section i should be able to brush against her to see if she wants to fuck in the back

my dark twisted secret is i always use my turn signals whenever possible because i believe they were included in vehicles for a reason. i’m a bit of a freak this way. a weirdo

okay but "the symbolism is Real and Trying to Kill You" is my favorite kind of symbolism

like yeah the monster is a representation of your unresolved trauma and guilt and a manifestation of the sins of your past but it's also a real creature and it's going to fucking Get you

dashboard is like a pond sometimes

lots of silly gooses

most insane tumblr experience by far is coming across a post from the mid 2010s that has permanently altered the brain chemestry and life course of you and several of your friends and aquaintances and realizing it only has like 1200 notes

What’s funny is how often they’re both wrong. Mulder will be like “the victims all had their livers scooped clean out this is obviously the aliens escalating from cattle mutilation” and Scully will be like “don’t be silly Mulder this is clearly just a serial killer who’s really good with surgical tools” and then it turns out the actual killer is an immortal sewer man who comes out ever quarterly century to feast on human liver.

I cannot stress enough that this is literally the plot of an actual episode

i dont smoke cigarettes but they should let me have a smoke break where i burn stuff behind the restaurant

i avoid printers at all costs but deep down i think i should've been a printer. life so easy. i sit there all squarelike and when someone has a minor task for me i goFUCK YOU

the way 'nice dichotomy idiot what lies outside of it' has saved me so many hours of being insane with my thought patterns