Emma

"we don't have girl talk, we have creature talk," my roommate Julia just said while rolling on the floor, "put that on your fucking tumblr, they'll love that shit"

she just asked how many notes this post has and I told her eighteen and with restrained glee she said "this is going to do horrible things to my ego"

Hey op why is the contact icon a T if their name is Julia? *condescending tone* do you have your roommate saved as “trash” in your phone?

:/ i wish “bad guy” by billie eilish came out 7 years ago :(

explain

????? march ?????? again ??????

When you're tired of being in the army

Happy March 4th, the date that’s also a command

it’s a leap yeap

My nightmare: making a typo that people are still talking about over a century later

Happy leap yeap!

[ID: Newsprint that says, “Girls! Why Not Wed a Cowboy? They make great hubbies and–it’s leap yeap”. End ID]

Kitty!... long leg kitty!.. uh, creechur?... OUPPY

My grandmother had a dog like this, except she had cream-colored spots where the googly eyes are and a white patch on her chest shaped like casper the ghost, so they called her Spooky.

the inherent tension between the acronyms JFC, JFK, and KFC .......

kentucky fried christ

jesus fucking kennedy

john f. chicken

The Son, The President, and the Deep Fried Spirit.

Oh fuck they’re inclusive ants, too?!?

ok!