baby, your love is a crime

see that girl you just called a lesbian? is she? can you help me get her number?

sorry I wasn’t ignoring you I was just watching 7 seasons and 32 episodes of this new show I found

i havent shaved my legs in a really long time and while i was babysitting my skirt edged up a bit and the seven year old i was watching said “ew you should shave that hairs not supposed to be there” and i said “well if its not supposed to be there then why does it grow there?” and he was really silent for a long time and then finally said “lets watch sonic the hedgehog”

this sjust in obmama creates new law demanding that all men shave off their nipples “just cut them right off jusut fucking do it they dont do anyhting” he was quoted as screaming off the white house roof this morning

Why is love at first sight okay for straight people but for lesbians it’s “u-hauling”? Why do straight people get to have passionate love stories but for us it’s just “the lesbian urge to merge”? Why are our relationships doomed to be too intense to last? Why do we suffer “lesbian bed death” but straight people’s relationships simply mature? Why do we have to question every single thing we do as a couple because we aren’t allowed to love with the same validity and purity that straight people are given?

I feel like y'all should reblog this because straight people seem to have no idea that “gay marriage” doesn’t mean that homophobia is over.

remember when lol meant “laughing out loud” instead of “this is to indicate that this brief text isn’t hostile”

there should be an option on the microwave that says “please don’t make a beep sound my mom is gonna be really mad if she finds out I’m making taquitos at 4 am again”