Isagi Yoichi

You were the most beautiful bride Isagi had looked upon.

No, not ‘were’.

You still are, you'll always be.

He stood at the pews with the other guests, white flower petals being thrown off by flower girls as everyone cheered for the newlyweds inside the church. Everyone was happy but him, the smile plastered on his face was forced, he just can't be here anymore. His heart squeezed itself from the pain he's witnessing in front of him. 

You're happy, the happiest bride he ever saw as you kissed the man with everyone cheering around. Of course he clapped, he didn't want to cause unwanted drama. It's suspicious of a pro footballer being stiff on such a blessed moment.

He wanted to punch himself for keeping it inside that day. That confession he practiced for days with the homemade chocolates was discarded, he already lost when he saw you hugging your rumoured crush behind the school building, leaving him slump and shut off the next following weeks as he screamed at his pillow in frustration and regret. 

—---

“We're engaged Yochan!” You happily raised your hand to show off the wedding ring, the (complex/minimal) design screamed what you'd adore every bit of it, it was so you. Something he dreamt of buying one day but…

It was a harsh slap on his face, he bit back his tongue, hand clenching on his water bottle tightly it'd explode as you handed him the invitation letter with a smile on both your faces. It didn't feel right to him, it didn't feel right at all. He wanted to vomit, he wanted to be on his knees and beg you to marry him instead, he wanted to scream it out with how much he regretted not interfering or at least confessing to you earlier than he did.

But he didn't. 

He only smiled and let out a small ‘congrats’, which was out of character for him to do. He took the invitation with shaky hands, he didn't really want to go but then again, it's the last time he'd see you before you start a new life with your fiance. Before you start your own family with a man that isn't him.

—---

So that day came, and all he could do was watch, watch something that could've been his life. So goodbye to the supposed future of the two of you being together, goodbye to the days where he'd imagine waking up with you next to him. Goodbye to the times where you comforted him at his loneliest times. Before blue lock, before fame, before he got recognized as the greatest striker… because at that time, you only recognized him as Yochan, not anyone else with massive egos or a famous status.

You looked back at him with the prettiest smile, your veil swaying elegantly as you bid everyone good bye, bidding him goodbye as he looked at you with a sad smile, swallowing the lump on his throat as he internally screamed from everything, from him, for you, to this.

'Please come back..Please bring her back to me..'

He was desperately praying in his head to have you again, the chants getting faster by the second as you walked farther away from him. But I guess that’s not something the universe can do.

Rin Itoshi

He can't take it anymore, the necktie was quite loose yet he couldn't breathe, the priest was reciting the same script as you and your fiance stood at the altar. The dress you wore had adorned your body, the satin was decorated with crystal beads that made you stand out that day. But it was you who made the dress stand out more, in his head.

Just what happened? Everything went too fast for him, Rin couldn't think straight, couldn't wait another minute and would just flat out leave but that would be disrespectful and would raise unwanted attention to everyone, including you.

“Before I proceed, does anyone know of any reason why these two should not be married? Speak now or forever hold your peace. ”

That was his chance.

His body snapped as he opened his mouth, but his throat cut up, nothing came out as he froze. Can he really object to your wedding for the sake of you not getting married to anyone but him? Can he be selfish just this once outside of his career and have you? Can you just…come back?

He bit his lower lip and looked away defeatedly, eyebrows furrowed and fists clenched tightly as his shoulders tensed, tears were threatening to spill in the corner of his eyes as he held everything inside. ‘Damn you.’ He didn't know why he thought of that, but he was angry at himself for everything.

Why did it have to be like this? First it was his brother changing and abandoning their dreams, now it's you coming back to Japan years later, only to get married with your fiance here for the honeymoon trip.

After you even said you'd marry him when you were both 14. 

‘I'll marry you Rin! So you don't have to be alone!’ The words you said burned through him after 10 years, his teeth bit his lip harder, blood threatening to spill as he remembered his younger self not answering you. Still in shock after what his older brother had said to him.

“You may now kiss the bride.”

Rin looked up on instinct, snapping off from his thoughts as he witnessed your fiance pulling you into a loving kiss with everyone cheering. The scene was beautiful for everyone as his heart shattered, the scene in front of him made him sick, his gut was just an endless pit of bitter feelings he couldn't express in a day like this.

He really wanted to lash out towards his younger self, for not answering you, for leaving you behind and focusing on soccer instead, he wasn't thinking right in the head but present Rin now regretted everything. He really regretted not returning his feelings back now that he’s watching you leave with another man, this was torture for someone like him. 

He quietly left the scene, heading towards the bathroom desperately, resting his palms on the sink as he stared at himself at the mirror, at this very moment, he looked pathetic after watching the two of you legally and officially seal and commit to each other. He didn’t want to stay anymore, didn’t want to see you being happy with anyone but him. That was selfish, yes, but can you really call it that when 2 of his favourite people had left his life?

The celebration echoed throughout the bathroom, but for Rin, it was just noise that he would've appreciated if he were in your husband’s shoes.

Sae Itoshi

Despite having eyes on him on your wedding day, Sae kept his composure, because 1 he didn’t want to have guests asking pictures of him, 2 he wanted to leave. But since it’s your day he’ll stay for a few more minutes and suffer more.

His teal eyes were tired, dark circles showed up 2 weeks after you invited him to your wedding right after he just landed back in Spain. He wasn’t tired from the matches, no, never, he was tired from sleeping so late at night, he stared at the invitation that was getting wrinkled with how hard he’s gripping it.

He watched you from afar, the groom’s face was blurred out for him, all he could see was you in that white dress. A fit and flared lace that hugged your body right, one of the traits he had admired about you years ago when he moved back to Spain after U20. 

He still clearly remembers that time where he was excited about being in Re al, that time you’d help him out in places as he stuck close to you. But despite your kind demeanor, staying in a team that pressured him twice as much with people around the world watching like a hawk broke him. He failed that day, thus making him fall off and hit rock bottom. 

Yet you stayed, you stayed when he was at his lowest, when he locked himself in his room as you embraced him. He missed his home, his parents, his little brother, everything. Yet you made his life more bearable in Spain, and he’ll forever thank you for that as you helped him up on his feet. 

As months passed by, he wanted to come clean about the feelings he had for you but kept quiet. What if he’d be too busy to maintain the relationship he wanted? What about the foundations? The time zones when you two would get apart? Would he make you happy?...And..

Would you return his feelings??

That question scared him, yes he may be rude and would shut people out so easily if he doesn’t find them interesting, but when it’s about you, he really can’t help but feel open and warm inside. 

The sound of the bells rang loudly as doves flew from one place to another, it really was fate that brought them together as people left and right cheered and cried but him. He stood still, not wanting to tamper with the universe, not wanting to ruin anything that would involve you. And as much as he wanted to reach out to you, your husband already held you by the waist as you both walked down the aisle as friends and relatives congratulated you all around.

You lifted your head, neck stretching as your eyes looked for him, and that gesture tugged on his chest, he assumed that you wanted to talk to him, or at least do any sort of contact, and when your (e/c) found his mournful teal ones. You just gave him a smile.

The one thing he loved the most, Sae returned a smaller one, a real one that you missed dearly when the both of you were still young. You were glad that your best friend attended your wedding, otherwise you’d be upset that his presence wasn’t around on a day like this.

Sae already knew from the way you looked at him, that you didn’t see him the way he does with you. But what if he just pushed himself to do it that day? Would everything change? Would he be the one kissing you at the altar and celebrate the wedding until midnight? Would he be the father to tend to both of your kids and pick them up after school? Would he be the one to call you his wife every time you share your late night talks together? 

Would he?

All those questions were eating him at the back of his head, your back was facing him and he didn’t know what expression he held after questioning himself. But all he felt was dread, yearning and desperate for the life he wanted with you but he couldn't do anything about it as he watched the two of you leave the church.

God if only he hadn’t kept it to himself then he’d be in your life for the rest of his days, blessed to be waking up every morning with you beside him.

he thinks about it and then plops down next to you on the bed, leaning over to catch what you were watching

you notice

“pretty little liars”

“oh”

“we can watch together if you are not busy”

“mm” he leans into the bed and you spare him a blanket as you move your laptop closer to him

as you guys watch together he noticed your oddly frequent yawns and your eyes fluttering but doesn’t really say nothing until you kinda drifted off to fairy tale land for a good 3 seconds

“you ok?”

“yea just sleepy”

“okay” he doesn’t press, doesn’t interrogate you, but keeps note of your actions

if you fall asleep watching the show he’ll pause it so you don’t miss anything and then tuck you to bed

and he’ll do it for a while until it’s becoming too frequent for his liking

“are you feeling okay?” he says as he spots you dozing off on the couch

“yea why wouldn’t I be”

“just checking” he says as he sits down next to you “you’ve been like this for a minute now.. no?”

“like what?” you say softer

“slothy”

“I don’t even think that’s a word” you slightly smile

“whatever” he says looking away for a second and then looking back at you “if youre feeling a type of way you could tell me”

“thank you” you say as you lay your head on his lap

“so are you?” he says playing with your hair

“just unmotivated” you crack a smile “im gonna nap.”

he’ll watch your eyes close and watch your chest rise and fall for a while until he starts dozing off himself

݁ ˖Ი𐑼⋆ itoshi sae

you have your head down on the kitchen counter scrolling through your phone. Sae walks over and noticed you slumped down

“you tired?”

“mhm” you say gaze still fixed on your screen

“from what?” he asks mockingly knowing you’ve done nothing but laze around all day

“sleeping”

“sleeping? really.”

“full 9-5”

“come on let’s get you up” he says moving his hands to your shoulders easing them in “make dinner with me”

“ughh i don’t want to” you groan, finally looking up from your phone

“come on” he says as he eases you up

“im too tired” you say as you lean against the counter lazily while he moves to grab something from the pantry

“are u on meds? Is this a side effect of something, you’ve been like this for a while now” he adds while holding some eggs

“I’m not?” you say sternly “can’t I just be tired”

he walks over and places the eggs down carefully on the counter “not like this” standing infront of you and grabbing your waist

you groan into his chest leaning your head against him

you yawn

“im going to be keeping you on close watch because it’s getting weird”

“it’s not” you say as you hit his chest “I just have no motivation to do anything else”

“can I help?” he says softer leaning down to press a kiss on your jaw

“doing what”

“we’re going to the square tomorrow, let’s get you outside”

you groan, not quite in protest but not quite accepting either, more like a huge hassle

“now help me with dinner hm?”

݁ ˖Ი𐑼⋆ reo mikage

“princess would you…” reo starts off while walking into your bedroom finding you cozied up on your desk rereading the hunger games for what is the 74th time now.

“again?” he teases

you hum softly “yep”

you think about it for a moment..

“is it kind of ironic im reading the hunger games while talking with my billionaire boyfriend…” you kinda know the answer to that unfortunately.

reos billions always made you uncomfortable, I mean yea, you liked designer bags, you liked flying private all over the world, but much like the hunger games there are a lot of district parallels in the real world.

sure it made you feel a little better kinda how he donated like 80% of his allowance and the other 20% he’d spend on you and nagi..

but deep down it gave you this feeling, sense, injustice maybe? insecurity? whatever it was, it was chipping at you slowly.

you snap back to reality when reo pats your back

“doing fine?”

“zoned out sorry” you say as you get up and sit on the bed, your eyes flash to his shirt.

when he wasn’t dressed in a jersey it was custom designer. wow

“new shirt?”

“yea from donatella herself” he giggles softly

“wow first name basis”

“you already knew that though?”

did you? did it just process in your mind now?

“I don’t feel good right now” you say as a loud sigh exists you

“something bothering you?” he says sitting down on the bed next to you

yes “no”

“are you sure? you haven’t been feeling so good lately at all”

the book in your hands starts to tremble, or rather your hands

reo notices and moves to hold onto them

“if I die in that arena my last thought will be of your lips” he says leaning in to kiss you so effortlessly quoting your book

“reo” you mutter out, but maybe you shouldn’t. after all there is no sugarcoating way to—

“hm? what is it?” he says putting his arms around you

“im so like sad” lean into his chest, his grip around you tightens slightly

“wanna talk about it?”

“I don’t know.. do you want to?”

“if you do” he says as meeting your forehead with his

you pause for a second before you say anything

“I just feel so guilty.. you buy me designer literally every day while there is people starving to death” you exhale

“I know it’s not your fault, I’m not trying to blame you.. or me, I just feel bad.”

“In the nicest way possible we both know your family didn’t make billions by giving kids lollipops”

he listens attentively, understanding your feelings, i think he also feels the same way, maybe he is just desensitized to it.

“be honest with me..” he says looking at your eyes firmly.. looking for an answer “has this been making you depressed?”

“maybe” you say averting your gaze

he tilts your head to face him again “I don’t want you to feel this way, like ever again or before, I know I’m doing stuff but I also know I’m not doing everything I can. I’ll do better, but next time tell me sooner? okay” he kisses your cheek “don’t worry about a thing anymore”

“I’ll try” you say as you nuzzle onto his chest, sleeping away the ache

and reo did. while he can’t dismantle his families billion dollar empire yet he has been doing everything so you guys can live a normal life while also fixing issues like hunger and clean water one country at a time. all anonymous.

݁ ˖Ი𐑼⋆ nagi seishiro

one sloth is already a hassle but when you hit multiply and give it to the next person LITERALLY your house might aswell be a zoo. featuring a cactus.

“get off of me you’re hot” you say as you nudge for nagi to get off your chest but he doesn’t even budge

“you’re too comfy”

“get offffff your soooo annoying”

“no”

“choki come save me!!”

“he’s my son so he won’t come to your rescue”

“says who?”

“says me.. and choki”

“he doesn’t even have a mouth”

“and that’s why you arent his favorite parent. we connect telepathy”

“oh ok let me know when the psych ward gets back to you”

“hm?”

“GET OFF. NAGI SEISHIRO GET OFF NOW”

he groans as he turns over and leaves you be

“such a meanie”

“and what are you a heating pad? you could single handled warm a whole neighborhood in Moscow during winter season”

“oddly specific.. you’re talking too much I’m tired” he turns over to look at your face but turns out you beat him to the punch because your fast asleep, drooling even. he would move his hand to clean your drool a bit but this is seishiro— oh he is moving his hand.

somebody check if it’s a blue moon!?

unsurprisingly all you two do all day is laze around from 9-12 and from 1-5 you take a quote on quote “power nap” and from 6-10 you laze around some more and from 11-8 you sleep? oh it’s truly remarkable schedule

but you keep eachother company so it’s not half bad

reo will come over once in a while, normally with food so you guys don’t starve to death

and you are usually the one who will force his bum self to shower.

it’s surviving maybe not living… on the flip side you’ve watched all your favorite tv shows and movies

“ahghhhhhh” you say as you climb ontop of his chest, leaning down for another power nap.

“you’re heavy”

“and you’re an extra small when you wanna lay on my chest?”

he groans

“when was the last time you went out to play soccer?” You ask out of curiosity

“a bit.. i dunno”

“you don’t wanna play no more?”

“No I do, later, when I’m not tired”

“ugh your always tired.”

he hums slightly “I feel like your more cheerful usually, you’ve been slouching around like me for a little bit” wow. that’s the longest sentance he’s ever said

“want me gone?” you tease

“no just wondering… you doing okay?”

“yea its just that you’re contagious didn’t you know”

He grumbles

“I’d force you to go play but I’m also tired and your chest is com—“ you’re cut off by your 💤s

“ur pretty” he’ll murmur playing with your hair, he really appreciates you right now and when your cheery

݁ ˖Ი𐑼⋆ michael kaiser

the sun that peeked behind the curtains hit your face as you turned around the bed, still half asleep you reach over thinking you’d find michael but you actually don’t find anything. that makes you open your eyes a little more to find that he’s nowhere to be seen, however you couldn’t be bothered as your body was still in sleep mode, you layed back down and hoped to doze up when slight hands tugged at your arms

“come to the gym with me schatzi” a familiar voice called out but you were still not in the mood to open your eyes

you groaned against the pillows as you pulled the covers higher

“come on” the voice said persistent in waking you up

“no” you managed to grumble, still struggling to open your eyes

“come on let’s get you up” he said lifting you up and leaning your back against the headrest

you finally open your eyes and see your sweet boyfriend michael

“I don’t feel like it”

“too bad. you said that yesterday and the day before” he said easing you awake

“then I must really not wanna go”

“I’ll brush your teeth and change your clothes myself if I have to go to those lengths”

you groan. “no thanks” you say furrowing your brows

“come on schatz my membership is gonna end before you get there”

“michael im tired” you say holding onto one of the hands that is easing your shoulder

“liebling you do absolutely nothing all day, you have more energy than me”

“why have enemies when I have you” you groan

“let’s go” he places a kiss on your cheek before he goes to get you up from the bed

“i can walk myself thank you” you say as you push him off of you and walk your way to the bathroom.

you tumble a little bit you get to the sink regardless

he follows behind you and leans in when you get your toothbrush.

for the first time ever michael kaiser doesn’t say anything he just observes your moves and facial expressions. wether he knows it or not, this is him maxing out his caring levels you

get dressed reluctantly and there he goes forcing you out the door into his training gym

“I don’t wanna be here”

“you dont wanna watch me flex my biceps! I’m wounded” he says placing a hand to his chest

you give him a look and he moves past it

“liebling can you pass me that weight” he says laying down on the bench press while pointing to the 25 kg

you gulp before you go to give it to him until you go to pick it up and it literally doesn’t move off the floor. like it’s GLUED “hm?” you laugh out quite literally using every ounce of strength in your body to pick it up now, partially from embarrassment.

you manage to lift it and you go to move it towards him but you drop it

when you go to look at him he is watching with the most SMUG look on his face

“oh you’re laughing?”

“not all schatz” he says getting up from the bench press and walking over to you picking it up like a feather

“real humble” he continues his routine while you sit by him and watch, you actually found the situation quite interesting until that wave of all the energy you used picking that up hit you, now you felt like you could nap for a 100 years.

you start to doze off, his counting “4… 5… 6…” becomes white noise and you enter your slumber.

As Michael finishes his set and he puts the rod back he notices your sleepy figure,

your eyelashes against your skin, the small drop of sweat from carrying that weight, you look so soft right about now. he normally wouldn’t be admiring you so closely in broad daylight but it’s not really a normal day anyways.

as he’s admiring you you lean a little back, head falling to the side almost hitting a pole until his insane our humble kings reflex’s caught you

he decides it’s time to go home and packs it up, when you two get into the car, you still asleep, he slowly murmurs “if you’re not feeling so good you can tell me” he won’t show you this vulnerability, this care, if you were awake but he cares. silently

authors note: I tried. is all I got to say 😢 anyways I tried to capture the essence of laziness on some and then depression on others.. sorry to the ness lovers but I genuinely couldn’t think of other good scenerios my brain was frying. which only happens everytime I write one of these 😭 anyways thanks anon SO much ! also to everybody else in my inbox: sorry for the wait and ill get there, there are some i genuinely don’t rlly wanna do cuz i don’t have the motivation too oh sounds like a scenerio I know.. wink wink. but others i am working on I promise 😢😢 ive also been a lil busy these last couple days

ok now please answer this poll!! 🥹🥹

the next time you see him is at the cafeteria 2 days later. you’re sitting alone, picking at your food as you flip through the pages of your book.

shidou approaches you yet again, and his grin is even bigger than the last time you met.

“heeeeey, it’s ms. moody!” he hollers as he claps, and by the looks of it, it seems like the rest of the ward is used to his antics seeing as how none of them react.

he takes the seat across from you before putting his hands up in mock surrender. “yo, i come in peace,” he says, and there’s really no other way to describe his grin except for resembling that of a roblox smirk. or maybe that one kevin hart meme?

you glare at him, the insults are already brewing up in your mind before you’re pulled away as he offers you a handshake. “can we start over? i’m shidou. i’ve been here a while for, uh, high manic symptoms or whatever.”

you stare at his coarse hand, your brows furrowing even harder before your eyes flit up to meet his.

“i told you already, i’m not interested,” you huff, rolling your eyes before stuffing your face with food in an attempt to shut him off.

“hey, man, i get it,” he chuckles, “aspd? antisocial personality disorder, yeah? did i get it right?” he smiles, chasing your gaze as he leans his head down to meet the table. “yanno, ego over there also has aspd,” he whispers, looking at the next table over where a man with an ugly ass bowl cut and even uglier glasses sits alone, eyes completely lacking any sort of light. “…sheesh. stay away from him, though, a’right?”

“what the fuck is wrong with you? can’t you leave people alone? stop trying to fucking diagnose me, you psycho,” you bark, finally looking him in the eyes with a disgusted face.

but shidou’s not one to give up easily. “takes one to know one! literally,” he giggles, sitting up properly as he brings his palms up and rests his chin against them, “come on, gorgeous. lighten up. ‘m not gonna hurt ya.”

“i will,” you say before getting up and grabbing your book.

“hey, hey—!” he yells, hands up and ready to stop you as he mirrors your movements and gets up as well, “let’s take this elsewhere!” he chuckles nerviously.

“get the fuck away from me! don’t make me tell you again!”

“fuck, i’m so hard right now…” he giggles enthusiastically with his entire chest, falling on the floor as he tries to crawl away.

the nurses immediately come to your aid, pulling the two of you aside.

“you can’t go around throwing tantrums like that,” the psychologist says gently, sitting calmly in her chair. “it’s only your first week here and you’ve already had two outbursts.”

you sigh, looking out at the window to avoid her gaze. you despise her. you didn’t even bother learning her name beforehand, and if you did, you sure as hell don’t care enough to try and remember it.

“what is it that’s making you angry?” she asks, and it takes everything in you to hold back from answering her with a simple “you,” but you opt for staring into her eyes instead, thinking thoughts that placed you in the very position you’re in right now—thoughts you should definitely not be having.

a couple seconds go by with you simply glaring daggers at her as she looks at you calmly, and honestly? that calm ass, zen ass, relaxed look on her face makes you all the angrier.

“i can’t help you if you don’t allow me to.”

God knows you’ve heard that line too many times before.

she sighs, shaking her head softly before jotting down something in her journal. “alright, i’m assigning you a week in the isolation unit. i don’t think it’s safe for you to be roaming around freely,” she says, not even bothering to look you in the eyes as she speaks, “you understand, right? this is what’s best for everyone involved, including shidou. you can’t keep threatening or hurting him.”

her eyes meet yours as she says that last part. shortly after, she calls the nurse over and you’re guided to a white, padded room before the nurse locks you up inside.

the minute the nurses let you go, you catch sight of that antenna-haired freak again. he’s leaning on his room’s doorframe, smirking to himself before pushing his body off and approaching you.

“can’t believe you’d spend a week in the iso unit just to edge me, baby,” he says casually.

“…edge you?” you repeat, side eyeing him with a sour look on your face.

“we were in the middle of foreplay before we got interrupted!” he pouted, wrapping an arm around your shoulders before whispering, “whatddya say we pick up where we left off?”

you brush him off, huffing as his arm returns back to his side. “is this how they taught you to cope?” you cross your arms, eyeing him up and down condescendingly.

“oh, don’t look at me that way, babe. i got blue balls, i’ll cum right now.”

“you are fucking disgusting,” you deadpan, and at this point, you’re not even sure if he’s messing with you or not. you uncross your arms and begin to walk away, until you hear shidou call after you.

“hate to see you go but i love to watch you leave!”

“shidou!” / “no, i’m hallucinating again—! awh, come on, man!”

“hey,” he slides beside you, sitting as you zone out.

you blink a couple times, still staring into the distance as your thoughts race.

“you good?” he asks, genuine concern laced in his tone. shidou chases after your eyes again, leaning his head in the direction of your gaze to force you to look at him.

“they’re letting me go.”

your heartbeat quickens. it seems surreal, and despite being in disbelief about it at first, saying out loud only hits you harder.

“what? why?” he asks, getting off the sofa and kneeling in front of you.

tears pool in your waterline as you try to blink them away. you breathe a deep, shaky sigh as you feel your throat tighten, “behavioral issues.”

“oh, shit,” shidou’s eyes widen for a split-second, clearlt taken aback, “‘s it ‘cause of me?”

“no, i…” you breathe again, looking down as you bring your two knees up to your chest, your hands balled into fists, “…i’ve had… altercations with other patients. i get easily irritated, so…”

“what, you beat someone up?”

“just cussed them out. possibly threatened them…”

“damn. should’ve been me,” he shakes his head.

you scoff, rolling your eyes at him. of course he wouldn’t take this seriously. what were you even thinking, opening up to him?

“shit, no, i didn’t…” his voice trails, making you look at him. “i didn’t mean to be insensitive, shit, ‘m sorry, man.”

shidou looks away, looking for the right words to verbalize how he feels before bringing his hands up to your knees. his hands are coarse, but his touch is gentle as he draws circles with his thumbs, “so, where you off to?”

you sigh again, this time collecting yourself as you look around the room to avoid eye contact, “i don’t know. i think they were thinking of transferring me to a different unit or something. that’s what i could piece together from the scraps i heard, anyway.”

shidou nods, still kneeling in front of you. he softly grabs your ankles and places your soles against the marble floor before placing his chin against them, not exactly knowing how to comfort people.

“you look like a fucking puppy,” you snark.

“i’d let you put a leash on me any day.”

you bite the inside of your cheek to hold yourself back from laughing, but ultimately fail as a chuckle escapes you.

shidou smirks before following and laughing in tune with you.

“you are so fucking weird, dude,” you say.

“yeah, i know.”

…

“hey, yanno… i heard what that nutjob told you before she admitted you to the isolation room,” he confesses, the air strangely calm as he speaks.

“how much did you hear?” you ask.

“everythin’. from your name to…”

“including my full name?”

“yeah.”

“damn,” you nod slowly.

“for what it’s worth… i don’t really care if you threaten or hurt me,” he says.

you scoff, looking down on him, “yeah, because you’re a kinky little masochist.”

shidou laughs wholeheartedly. “i mean, yeah but… isn’t that what makes this so great?”

you pause, “this?”

“this,” he says, pointing to the two of you, “if you need to be mean, be mean to me.”

your brows furrow, and your chest tightens just a little. “why are you… why are you so adamant on this?” you ask, trying to make sense of it all.

shidou’s eyes fall, clearly having a hard time verbalizing his feelings. “i… i don’t know,” he says, eyes distant, “i just… am.”

you gulp, unable to say anything.

“say, you wanna run away with me?” pink eyes stare into yours as he asks, tone completely dead and casual.

you don’t think you’ve ever seen shidou look this serious before.

the next day, you’re awoken by a fire alarm going off. footsteps rush outside your door as a defeaning bell rings through the halls.

you get up, standing with your hand against your doorframe as you watch patients run past you like you’re invisible. your eyes scan the crowd. where the fuck are the nurses..?

an arm grabs you—a touch so rough, it’s for sure to leave a bruise. you try to pry away until you see who it is.

shidou laughs maniacally as he rushes you out the kitchen door. everyone else uses the fire exit, the front doors, and even the ones out back.

“ahh, there’s so much adrenaline pumping in my body!” he laughs before stopping you in his tracks and covering his mouth.

you’re still in a state of daze and confusion, brain still in the middle of processing what’s currently happening to you right now.

“shiiiiit, empty guard post! jackpot!” he snickers, hand gripping onto your arm yet again before running off, “he must be helping the crowd out front! we’re lucky!”

“shidou, are you sane?!” you question, breaking free from his grip as you swat his hand away. “did you set the fucking fire alarm off? how did you even manage that?!”

shidou looks at you, perplexed as if you had just told him the sky was green. “…huh?”

“i didn’t even fucking say yes to running off with you!”

oh.

he hadn’t thought of this yet—hadn’t even considered you not wanting to leave. but you just looked so down back then, so utterly helpless.

hey, how long as it been since he’s slept? shidou doesn’t even remember…

you turn your head around in a flash when you hear running footsteps. they’re light, which means whoever’s coming is still a good distance away.

your eyes flit from the open kitchen door you’d walked out of, to the parking lot a few steps away. if you made a run for it now, you’d probably be able to hide and successfully escape, but…

ah, fuck it. fucking psychotic ass, crazy bug.

you take shidou by the arm and drag him to the parking lot behind one of the vehicles. though the lot is visible and relatively close to the front entrance, the huge van you managed to duck behind does a great job at hiding you.

you look back to the man beside you, who’s currently still in a state of shock.

“shidou!” you whisper-yell, “snap out of it!”

shidou doesn’t budge, his form lifeless as if he had just been bitten by frostbite.

you kneel in front of him before slapping him in the face. “hey, fucking focus! don’t you have a plan?”

shidou blinks a couple times, registering your words.

“…plan?”

“yes, a fucking plan! don’t tell me you did all this shit on a whim?”

“uuuhh…”

you sob, covering your mouth quickly to stop yourself before sighing a shaky breath.

“fuuuuck my life.”

you don’t know how, but you managed to secure a cheap motel room with shidou a few miles away after picking up a random nurse’s lost wallet in the parking lot.

he’s already back to his usual self—the usual shidou you know, anyway. turns out all he needed was a stroke of luck, and after finding the lost wallet, he’s already back on his bullshit.

shidou is laying flat on the bed in a starfish position as you come out of the bathroom in only a towel wrapped around your figure. when he notices you, he chuckles an amused laugh before sitting up.

“yanno, all that escaping got me a little hard… the adrenaline?” he says, legs spread, staring at your backside.

“i think you need to calm down. the cops’ll be looking for us,” you deadpan, trying to dodge any of his attempts at romance. you’d be damned if you took advantage of a man that’s clearly delirious.

shidou sighs and stands up before walking over to you slowly as you brush your hair. “where’re your clothes?” he asks before pressing against you and nuzzling into your neck.

“i… they’re hung in the bathroom. i washed them,” you say, tensing up a little under his touch.

shidou takes your jaw gently in his hands before guiding you to look at him, pink eyes staring softly into yours. his pupils are dilated, and there are hints of red in his cheeks and on his ears.

shidou’s breathing is laboured.

18+, feel free to skip.

you lay under the sheets with shidou, your heart racing as he lays on his stomach, catching up on breathing beside you.

“…mdd,” you say, staring at the ceiling.

shidou blinks a couple times in your direction.

“major depressive disorder,” you blink, trying to ground yourself back to earth as you sigh a shaky breath, “i was checked in by my coach after i… i had an outburst at practice and started threatening my teammates.”

you sit up, dragging the blanket with you as a cover up for your chest.

“but i just…” you breathe, feeling sobs come through, “it was the only thing keeping me going, that’s why i…” tears stream down your face as you hyperventilate, trying to explain yourself to him.

you’ve never opened up to a therapist like this before. you’ve never cried in front of them. and yet, in this moment, you feel a strange wave of emotions as your chest caves in. you’re overwhelmed, and there’s a strong urge to explain yourself to shidou for reasons you don’t even necessarily understand.

“i just wanted them to take it as seriously as i did… i didn’t mean to hurt…”

“hey, hey…” shidou sits up, placing a hand against your back as you bury your face in your hands.

“it was my lifeline…”

shidou gulps, not really knowing what to say.

“and they took it away…”

shidou sighs, wrapping an arm around you as he brings your shaking body to his chest.

after a few more sobs, you begin to calm down. you’re stable enough to pull away from him, your eyelashes glistening wet from the tears as the tip of your nose and cheeks redden.

“i didn’t mean to a bitch to you, i just… i thought i was doing you a favor,” you say, not daring to meet his eyes. “i hurt people who get too close to me.”

shidou can’t help but laugh. scratching the back of his neck, he speaks, “remember when you asked why i was so adamant about you?”

you nod meekly, “is it because you’re a horndog?”

he chuckles, “close. but eh…” he trails, touching his chin as if to think, “i think i like girls whose misery you can sense. ya feel?”

you furrow your brows, not really understanding as you look at him.

he catches your gaze and shakes his head, “i mean, like… girls who’ve been through a lot. crazy bitches.”

“so you’re saying i’m fucking crazy?”

“well, aren’t you?” he laughs.

…

you feel a sense of rage rush through you, and before you know it, you’re bashing his head against the headboard.

shidou yells as you let go, blood running down his head and staining his blonde hair. “what the fuck—?!”

“don’t fucking patronize me!” you yell, getting off the bed and taking the blanket with you. “you’re such an asshole! you’re the crazy one!”

“you just bashed my fucking head in!” he says, blood on his hands as he tries to stop the bleeding. he holds his free hand down the blanket to cover himself up, stopping you from taking the entire thing altogether.

“are you seriously hard right now?”

“you know i’m a masochist!”

“ryusei, you are the worst fucking person i’ve ever met! i never should’ve gotten involved with you!”

“i fucking hate you too, you crazy bitch!” he scoffs, blushing as he tugs the blanket down.

“did you just get harder?”

“stop looking at my cock, bro!”

“i am not your fucking bro!”

you dive into the bed again before bashing his head a second time, making more blood drip out before you rush to the bathroom and get your clothes.

“fuck, i’m leakin’…” you hear him say, and you’re not sure which head he’s talking about right now, but you don’t really care. you need to get out of here.

you quickly get dressed and as you’re putting on your top, you hear sirens outside. your eyes widen as you unlock the door and peek out, only to be met with the sight of the police on your window as they peek in.

shidou stiffens before making eye contact with you and laughing before the cops knock on your door.

“excuse me? we’ve gotten reports of shouting and possible violence in here. everything okay in there?”

fuck, the motel owner must’ve called them. stupid fucking snitch!

“we know you’re there. please come out, we’re not going to hurt you.”

“um, just a minute!” you yell, quickly putting your top on and running over to the door. “cover up, you whore!” you whisper-yell as you walk past shidou, who’s smiling way too much.

“we’re about to get busted and you’re fucking enjoying this?” you snark, hand on the doorknob.

“oh, i’m about to bust, alright.”

you find yourself at a different psych ward a day later, under 24/7 surveillance with a nurse on your tail wherever you went and a security system tighter than a bank’s.

you sigh, bored out of your mind until you hear a familiar voice behind you.

“baaaaaby!”

how and why the fuck are you in the same ward?!

you turn around to see shidou and his nurse approaching you, placing a hand on your hip as he nuzzles against your neck.

“that’s not allowed,” and you can’t tell if it’s from your nurse or his, but either way, they don’t really do anything to separate you.

“hey, yanno, they filed your case under domestic violence,” shidou says, lifting his head up to look you in the eyes, “that mean what i think it means?”

“it means you need to get the fuck away from me.”

“what are we?”