Trusted Advisor

women find my dour countenance and repulsive appearance extraordinarily resistable

probably feels good as hell to be a drunk and belligerent king, and upon finding your gilded chalice has run dry of wine, to throw said chalice really hard at the head of the nearest courtier

You. Will. Kneel!

Scheming advisor trying to come up with new gender-neutral titles for its lord who just came out as nonbinary: We could poison the pure and chivalrous heir... My Scarab...

nefarious uncle is kind of the best thing ever. smash that reblog button if you love the nefarious uncle

This email could have been a flayed screaming man

[girl in a low cut top voice] i just dont know what it is but everyone is being sooo nice to me today….[grows grave and guarded] they’re conspiring against my reign and they think me a fool

I Always Smiled Darkly When I Saw The Thieves Attack The Palace

fantasy stories love to begin with the world's most razeable peaceful little farming village having a big grand festival

It's the best time to raze a village because there's usually people from nearby villages visiting for the festivities so you get to kill more people this way

im makeing blood yall want any

*introducing myself to the guards who caught me* seized to meet you

we all know that beinq introduced as "???" with a black silhouette as sprite feels qood as fuck BUT. you must imaqine beinq introduced as "!?"

Think i might be evil on par with draculas and nosferatus