What I think your dnd class says about you bc I'm bored
But I go on a rant for each and I'm a little mean bc it's fun
Artificer: You wish you were a little gremlin, but are you? Idk, you do have to clean your room though. I can 100% guarantee you've played a game where you have either a cyberpunk gun, a mech suit, or a robotic little guy. But that's so vague, you say! Hasn't everyone? No. No they have not. I also suspect you may have an addiction of some sort, although probably just buying specific things you don't need.
Barbarian: If you didn't feel useful or at least competent you will simply implode. You hate other people seeing you as weak. You like simple characters, although not shallow. You probably like this class either almost solely for the mechanics bc smash things tank hits brain go brrrrr, or because of trauma.
Bard: Oh you HATE when people perceive you any different from the very specific way you wish you could present. Either music or acting is a big part of your life in some way. Have you ever made a character that was genuinely intelligent, competent, and well rounded? Why do they always need to have some sort of glaring flaw or be a joke character? What are you afraid of?
Blood Hunter: You couldn't even be a rogue, you had to be more unique and special. Although that's not true entirely true: rogues are fragile and you don't like that. You aren't escaping the edge lord tittle but you're one of the self aware edge lords so you're cool. You don't take away the spotlight with your traumatic backstory but you are afraid that you do. I would say that you like The Witcher but honestly I think there's only a 50% chance that you've even read it. Go read it.
Cleric: You don't just like to heal people, you like to feel needed. Chances are you either are currently religious or have religious trauma and for some reason are working through that by playing a character that has a good version of the ideals that hurt you? Dude idk good luck though. You like religious theology at least a little. Finally, you always try to negotiate peace right before absolutely decimating NPCs because it never works and your charisma score is a +2 at best.
Druid: Everyone always think of you as the nature person but to be honest you're probably more of a witchcraft person. And an animal person. And you like options. The worst possible thing ever would be confinement, either with spell options or in real life.
Fighter: You're a lot like the barbarian fans except you don't like the lack of control unless it's for a specific narrative moment. Bonus points if you've ever played a human fighter on a mission to avenge their dead spouse. You love being just a guy with a sword because, ya know, you're also just a guy. Maybe not with a sword but just a guy none the less.
Monk: Depending on what subclass you play you either actually meditate and care about inner peace or you really like punching and violence. And you refuse to play the other type. You're a bit of an emotional enigma though. No really. What's going on in there. I once talked to a monk player who was planing on becoming a monk in real life??? Are y'all ok? Have fun rewatching Avatar and your 80s martial arts movies ig.
Paladin: You do know that the actual crusaders slaughtered thousands of people simply for believing in a different religion than them, right? I fear that you may not know that. You've made your personality around at least one old movie or TV show you saw as a kid. Normally I would say that you like feeling pure and honorable, but this is Tumblr so there's a good change you like breaking your oath and proving that you don't need purity to be powerful instead.
Ranger: "Oh you wanna be Aragorn," "you're just cosplaying Aragorn". Wrong. Everyone wants to be Aragorn. You, specifically wish you were Viggo Mortensen on the set of Lord of The Rings. Go watch the behind the scenes documentaries if you don't know what I'm talking about. You often become the designated bug killer around your friends. That's all great, but how does it feel never playing an unserious character because the thought of anyone thinking you're less than competent at anything you do is terrifying?
Rogue: Rogues can make themselves functionally invisible as will by sneaking into the shadows. You on the other hand take a different approach by making sure no one actually knows you or gets to talk to you ever. You either play the most fucked up little bastard in existence, or just... a guy. And you play that every single game regardless of the class you chose because sometimes change is hard.
Sorcerer: God forbid you use a single braincell to do anything ever. All the other classes get a lot of flack about wanting to be special from time to time, but you fly under the radar. You like roleplaying as characters that are basically Harry Potter but if he didn't have to go to Hogwarts to get good. But also unrelated, you really like Spider-Man. Idk. Just the vibes I'm getting.
Warlock: You're very invested in the narrative aspects of any campaign. You will do truly ridiculous things in real life and say it's "for the plot". You also wind up making a strange number of pact-like deals with people. For someone who likes to play characters desperate for power who make rash decisions in search of control over their own life, you sure like to overthink. A lot.
Wizard: Ok nerd. I'm just kidding. You take session notes though. I think you like this class because you like the idea of hard work and talent in paying off. You love the aesthetic more than most players and wish you could wear a cloak more often. That and you just love burning NPCs alive and outsmarting people. And you're probably allergic to sports.
