Ersatz Elequence

I killed the rat king of New York and inherited his throne by right of conquest or whatever, but I never took the rat oaths so I can speak to and command rats and they are compelled to obey, but they formally elected a rat president last year. I don't have any formal power in their social hierarchy but I have very real concrete magical power over them. I guess the title gets passed to my eldest son unless a rat kills me at some point.

all I use my powers for is making rats salute me when I walk by and they all hate it

when hamsters are born they see a silver thread that connects them to their gruesome and peculiar death and they follow it like soldiers marching to war.

I was talking with the gnomes and they don’t even think you are worth playing whimsical little tricks and japes on.

Druid pondering orb

I think the amount of people in the notes who can’t figure out how to find their own heartbeats is way more concerning.

being naked is not sexy. wearing a white 18th century shirt with poofy sleeves tucked into a pair of black high waisted trousers is sexy. there are no exceptions

I want a second one where they find out they can now both switch forms at will, and they live in both worlds as shape-shift-er girlfriends. 

I needed this. I appreciate this.

I need this