im here babe if you need oral support, i mean moral support

ppl tell me they like my ass and i just don’t believe them bc i don’t think i’ll ever get over ppl making fun of my ass in middle/high school. to me it’ll always be too small and not proportionate

i think it’s cool how i was never pining for love or a relationship because honestly i was just truly waiting for the person who i was meant to be with and her presence has inspired the most deeply rooted understanding that i have always wanted these things, but not with anyone else. giving people what they want or demand from me isn’t really love, is it. i give her what she needs and she gives me what i need and there is still all of this room for wanting things that i cannot yet find the words for but do find in her. i’ve not got to go very far to find them, these things that i want. she smiles at me and the want is soothed before i ever knew i had one, to see her smiling at me. she laughs and i feel this incredible relief. a want fulfilled. a desire met. a need, soothed. she does it all by existing. being herself. being kind to me as well. god she is so nice to me it’s pretty terrifying sometimes. she knows me to such wholeness. i have never feared her. i have never been recklessly hurt by her. i have never wished she’d been kind to me instead of cruel. she is just… beautifully soft. she says it is easy. it makes me wonder why for others it was so hard. i thought it was me, and so it must be that she is just extra loving and forgiving and kind, and that i must be the kind of person who would require extreme effort to be kind to. really as i understand it now, i was just… not treated very kindly. it is a hard thing to know. to accept even after the realizing. it is a thing which presses me to consider that i and myself are more deserving of something, anything. yes she is kind to me, and she is a loving and kind and forgiving person— but perhaps the truth is that she just treats me the way she does because it really is easy. maybe i am not so difficult to be kind to. we are kind to one another. anything else would be hard. to cause each other pain seems… sure in a way inevitable. but it will never be reckless or on purpose. this is different than what i have known. received. i thought being kind was something i should always extend and never expect. she makes it an expectation of existence. she is who she is. for this reason and many, i’d like to know her forever. for forever. i think i have waited a long time to be treated this way. i’d like to treat her this way for the remainder of my life, however long or short. i’m so grateful. i really really am. she is exactly right as an individual and for me. the us of it all is simple fact. no reservations. no doubts. i am just very grateful for what everything comes easy this way with her, like eyes opening in the morning. remembering that i have a body. gratitude to exist. i am very cared for. i’m surrounded by joy. by her. life could not be better, i think. but then, of course, it always somehow is <3