"we the jury find the defendant not valid”

Pale people cant wear adidias jackets without looking like they look like they huff gasoline in czechoslovakia

So when I was 16 I was in a theatre class & I was partnered with this boy for a kissing scene & I didn’t like him at all but I was Totally Straight ™ he just wasn’t my type and I didn’t want my first kiss to be with him and that’s obviously why I literally threw up at the thought of having to kiss him! I mean, who doesn’t throw up at the prospect of their first kiss with a boy! Anyways, my friend (who I def had a crush looking back on it) said she’d teach me how to stage kiss! And for a stage kiss one person cups the other’s face but puts their thumb on the other’s lips and then they “kiss” the thumb. So she cupped my face & put her thumb on my lips & then as she went in for the “kiss”,,,, my knees actually fuckin,,,, buckled underneath me,,,, like just the thought of (stage) kissing this girl caused me to physically become light headed and fall over, but I was def straight! Only into boys obviously! Never would wanna date a girl! And I played it off as having low blood sugar & being stressed but I’m all reality I was just gay & stupid

THISSSSS

Can I watch a great film knowing the actresses in it were terrorized and mistreated the entire time? Can I watch a football game knowing that the players are getting brain injuries right before my eyes? Can I listen to my favorite albums anymore knowing that the singers were all beating their wives in between studio sessions? Can I eat at the new fancy taco place knowing when the building that used to be there got bulldozed eight families got kicked out of their homes so they could be replaced with condos and a chain restaurant? Can I wear the affordable clothes I bought downtown that were probably assembled in a sweatshop with child labor? Can I eat quinoa? Can I eat this burger? Can I drink this bottled water? Can I buy a car and drive to work because I’m sick of taking an hour each way on the subway? Whose bones do I stand on? Whose bones am I standing on right now? 

Purity is one of the worst, most harmful myths humans ever invented.

so i’ve installed this mod “skyrim is windy” which makes the foliage wiggle in the breeze more. but then i didn’t play the game because sometimes i just install a bunch of mods and move on to something else without trying them out. anyways. so then i went out to buy some food and i saw the wind playing with the tree branches and i legit thought “oh so the mod is working nicely” i made a few more steps before i realized…… yea scoob this is real life

ok this was me when i dropped a meat pie in the kitchen at 2am and for a solid 0.4 seconds i thought “it’s ok i’ll just load my quicksave”

are y’all ok

no

understandable have a nice day

So, when I was doing my thesis on whether or not fanfiction should be considered a legitimate genre of literature, my advising professor asked me for examples.  I gave him the generic ones, of course - “Pride & Prejudice and Zombies” is a horror fanfic of “Pride & Prejudice”, “50 Shades of Grey” is an erotica fic of “Twilight" - and that seemed to make him understand what fanfiction is, but not how it’s useful.  So I thought about it, and, after about a minute, I said, “Paradise Lost is basically a fanfiction of the Book of Genesis.  And The Divine Comedy is an epic self-insertion fic for Catholic doctrine.  So, basically, you were teaching us fanfiction last semester.”  I had never before seen a grown man’s eyes widen with such fear, incomprehension, disgust, awe, and understanding.

l i s t e n

If you really want to drop that guy down the rabbit hole, ask him which Arthurian legend is canon and which are the AUs.

an actual helpful guide for acne, plus its actually really adorable

I see so many people complaining about this online but why.. do you even ask that???? like neither one of us wants to be talking to the other. we both just want to get this over with. and you don’t even care how I am so it’s not a genuine question. You know fully well I’m not going to tell you how I am unless you are my friend, I’m just going to say good/fine. it makes no sense to ask strangers that question and does not do any good for people who are socially awkward or just like,, didn’t hear what you said and now have to try guess and that’s a lot of unnecessary stress

someone once messaged me to let me know that Hannibal and Will’s age gap was problematic and I was just sitting there like…. Really…. that’s your first and most pressing issue with Hannigram, Really

they’re cannibals, susan

im yelling