Evans-eyeliner.

med student evan teaching a serial killer barty how to get rid of a body

Sleep is for the weak. I am weak. Let me fucking sleep. Please

modern au where everyone’s afraid of the big bad dangerous gang the crows but then someone looks in the crows’ hideout just to see Dirtyhands bickering with the Corpsewitch about bananas or some random shit. the Wraith is balancing on the Sharpshooter’s shoulders whilst the Chemist chucks m&ms at the Sharpshooter and he tries to catch them in his mouth without dislodging the Wraith. the Fjerdan is in the corner with several pigeons and a duck he’d befriended outside. rasputin is absolutely blasting from a speaker somewhere. they have a human-sized cardboard cutout of the rat from ratatouille leaning against a wall. they have polaroids of all of them taped to the walls next to their arrest records and wanted posters. three different incense candles are burning at the same time. the only items in the fridge are a half-drunken jug of orange juice and a handful of avocados. the Wraith is now making friendship bracelets with the Corpsewitch while the Sharpshooter and the Chemist make out on the couch. these terrifying criminals are just fucking teenagers and they’re funny as hell.

Just a friendly reminder that the only bet Kaz Brekker ever lost was based on his unshakable belief that a father had to love his son

kaz being unable to fathom fathers disliking their children is so funny to me. this man has literally ended people’s lives, but his father was good, jesper’s father is good, inej’s father is good, and even pekka rollins is a good father, so surely wylan was being dramatic? kaz was so sure fathers had to love their kids that he bet on it (and lost! because jan van eck truly did despise wylan, and kaz was blown away)

the crows are so young. they're so young. they make fun of wylan for playing the flute and being a bad criminal. they love waffles. they mock kaz's bad haircut. matthias mentally addresses kaz only with insults for nearly the whole two books. they have all been jealous of each other showing other people attention at some point -- jesper is jealous of anyone kaz gives attention to. matthias is jealous of anyone nina gives attention to. kaz is jealous of how comfortable the others are with each other. wylan is jealous of kuwei flirting with jesper -- they're all insecure at some point. nina gets mad at them for eating her cookies. they're all horny and fantasize about their crushes while actively running for their lives. they all want to kill the woman they kidnapped because she's whiny. they tease inej for sounding philosophical. they have secret hand signals. jesper and nina make sex jokes all the time and love to make others blush. they spite each other. they threatened to tattletale on each other to each other. they compete over who has the biggest bounty on his head. inej uses "being a matthias" as an insult. kaz and jesper have a physical scrap and have to be pulled apart by an Adult. i adore them so much

I actually love tumblr so much. Because truly NOOOO ONE i know has tumblr and i quite frankly don't really know anyone FROM tumblr, so I'm essentially just speaking into the void hoping it will reach someone who also likes this thing i like

there's something so special to me about rosekiller having a lot of sex that's rarely penetrative. there's a lot of jerking off involved, and dry humping, and frotting, and blowjobs, and thighfucking, and eye fucking, and they get really creative with it. but when they fuck it's really vanilla, and all about looking into each other's eyes and gasping and whispering and

Was explaining some gender things to a straight cis friend today vis a vis gender presentation VS gender identity when it suddenly dawned on me with much the same horror as getting to work and realizing you left the stove on, that unless you've been immersed in a queer culture for some time you'd have no way of knowing that appearing androgynous/indeterminate/wildly gender-nonconforming is HOT

(Running around knocking things over in a panic) NOBODY TOLD THE NONQUEERS THAT BLURRING THE GENDER BINARY IS THE GOAL SOMETIMES SHIT SHIT SHIT

Friend of mine at work was expressing frustration at not knowing someone's gender on sight and I had to find a way to gently tell them that thirty of my closest friends regularly leave the house thinking "boy I hope someone has to fucking take a guess today" without sounding like it was all a huge prank

to be fair to neil, none of us should be shocked he went into kevin’s room to call him a slur and pick a fight when the literal start of the chapter is “Neil was much better at instigating fights than winning them, but it'd be worth losing if he could just put a fist through Kevin's face once”

guys if you keep reblogging this i’m gonna have to tell him it blew up on tumblr and my credibility from this comeback will instantly plummet

oh no this is still getting notes

wow I love to sit crosslegged without moving for several hours straight!

okay time to straighten my legs man I'm so excited

I f eel like a suit of armour that was attacked by a welder