yung, dum

Humans have a much higher percentage of body fat than most other land-dwelling mammals, we’re much closer to various aquatic mammals who rely on that fat for buoyancy & insulation.

We may have lost most of our body hair because it would have created drag as we swam through the water, but kept most of our head hair because it would protect our scalps from damage from the sun when we would come up for air.

We’re one of the only land-dwelling animals that are able to hold our breath.

Human infants instinctively know to hold their breath underwater, keep their heads up, and try to swim upwards (they’re not strong enough but they do the motions correctly), whereas the infants of other primates simply panic and drown, suggesting this isn’t simply due to having spent 9 months in the uterus.  

Children who swim very frequently are able to contract their pupils at will, something that is helpful in seeing more clearly underwater.  This can especially be seen among children of the Moken tribe from an island off the coast of Thailand who rely on this ability for catching fish and clams, but can be trained in children anywhere.

Humans are the only primates who retain some small amount of webbing between our fingers and toes, some people more than others. 

Females have permanent breasts with fatty tissue that doesn’t assist in milk production but does assist in buoyancy that would be ideal for breast feeding while floating on your back.

Our dependence on iodine for proper brain and metabolic function is highly unusual for land dwelling animals but would not be an issue for ocean dwelling creatures.

The Aquatic Ape Hypothesis was a racist hypothesis suggested in the 1950s cause white scientists were mad that the leading data suggested that human life originated in Africa. So they decided to make another, junk theory based on bad speculation about humans actually being water creatures.

If you read some of the debunks in the notes, they actually go into why every speculated “aquatic trait” is either flat-out false (like humans are the only land animals that can hold their breath?!? Just not true?! Dogs and moose and rats and bears can all do this?!) or has a better and non-water-based explanation (like head hair was probably just an advantage to keeping sun off your head once we started walking upright. That’s it) 

Tips for getting drinks-

1. ALWAYS GO TO THE BAR TO GET YOUR OWN DRINK, DO NOT LET STRANGERS CARRY YOUR DRINKS. This is an opportune time for dropping something into your cocktail, and you’re none the wiser.

2.IF YOU ORDER SOMETHING NON-ALCOHOLIC, I promise you, the bartender doesn’t give two shits that you’re not drinking cocktails with your friends, and often, totally understands that you don’t want to let your guard down around strangers. Usually, you can just tell the bartender that you’d like something light, and that’s a big clue to us that you’re uncomfortable with whomever you’re standing next to. Again, we see this all the time.

3. If you’re in a position to where you feel uncomfortable not ordering alcohol:

Here’s a list of light liquors, and mixers that won’t get you drunk, and will still look like an actual cocktail:

X-rated + sprite = easy to drink, sweet, and 12% alcoholic content. Not strong at all, usually runs $6-$8, depending on your state.

Amaretto + sour= sweet, not strong, 26%.

Peach Schnapps+ ginger ale= tastes like mellow butterscotch, 24%.

Melon liquor (Midori, in most bars) + soda water = not overly sweet, 21%

Coffee liquor (Kahlua) +soda = not super sweet, 20%.

When I was a fresh bartender, I had a couple sitting in the corner, already drinking when I started my shift. They seemed like they knew each other really well considering how much they had their hands on one another. But I still came by and asked if they were okay. The man just waved me off while the woman said, “I need some water.”

The man laughed it off and told me, “She doesn’t need any water. She’s fine.”

She was not fine. Clearly. I decided I was going to cut the two off anyway and bring them some water. As I was filling up the glasses, I heard the woman say, “Stop. I said no. I don’t feel good.”

Her tone and attitude changed instantly. She kept pushing his hand away when he reached for her face, turned her head away when he tried to kiss her. Loudly told him, “Stop. I’m done for tonight.”

So I made sure to refill her water the moment she finished it, and I stayed within earshot of them the whole night. And every time I did, the man got mad at me, told me to leave them alone. Their friends were there, surrounding them and told me that those two always fought when they were drunk and apologized, so I relaxed a little. But the last time I refilled her drink, I heard a loud crash.

She fell out of her stool and hit her head on the floor. And he calmly drank his drink. Their friends didn’t even blink. I jumped over the bar to tend to her and he just said, “Don’t worry, I’ll take her home. She always ends up like this. She drinks too much.”

But it didn’t sound right.

Then the woman began convulsing.

I yelled for the other bartender to call 911 and when I did, the guy suddenly disappeared. I tried asking thr friends questions about him and they just blew it off as the woman being a black our drunk. And one of them said, “We’ll get her home. Don’t worry.”

But when thr EMTs showed up with the police, they all disappeared too.

A few days later the woman came with an attorney. She asked me and the other bartender who worked before me some questions. Turns out, she didn’t know any of those people. They weren’t her friends or her boyfriend. They had met that night, when the guy asked her if he could buy her a drink. At the hospital, they found traces of Rohypnol in her system.

The guy had Roofied her. And his friends were in on it.

The security camera footage showed he had put something in her drink when she left for the bathroom before my shift.

His name is Jim Sterling and he is a rather… colorful games journalist who actually uses his platform to report on stuff like horrible working conditions, abuse and even stuff like sexual assault in the games industry.