Sure Boss I'd Still Love Ya If You Was A Woim

lying (overshooting): feel old yet? the first episode of spongebob aired 36 years ago

lying (undershooting): feel old yet? the first episode of spongebob aired 7 years ago

lying by a ridiculous amount (overshooting): feel old yet? the first episode of spongebob aired 900 years ago

lying by a ridiculous amount (undershooting): feel old yet? the first episode of spongebob aired 15 minutes ago

real date of event no one reading was alive for: feel old yet? the great san francisco earthquake happened 118 years ago

real date of event no one reading was alive for or cares about: feel old yet? prince frederick henry died 395 years ago

event no one reading was alive for and also lying: feel old yet? the great san francisco earthquake happened 4 years ago

event that did not happen: feel old yet? brian mulroney was assassinated 48 years ago

event that did not happen and even if it did this would be a lie: feel old yet? brian mulroney was assassinated 197 years ago

real date of event on a cosmological scale: feel old yet? the sun was formed 4,600,000,000 years ago

lying on a cosmological scale (undershooting): feel old yet? the sun was formed 12 years ago

lying on a cosmological scale (overshooting): feel old yet? the first episode of spongebob aired 12,000,000,000 years ago

real date of a personal anecdote that only you know or card about: feel old yet? i made a really good stir fry 5 years ago

reversal: feel young yet? frozen 3 is coming out in 3 years

reversal on a cosmological scale: feel young yet? the sun will collapse in 8,000,000,000 years

reversal (lying about event): feel young yet? the first episode of spongebob will air in 3 years

reversal (lying about time, overshooting): feel young yet? frozen 3 is coming out in 8,000,000,000 years

reversal (lying about time, undershooting): feel young yet? the sun will collapse in 3 years

reversal (lying about time, really undershooting): feel young yet? the sun will collapse in 12 minutes

real date of a recurring event that wasn't very long ago: feel old yet? halloween was 13 days ago

lying about recurring event: feel old yet? halloween was 10,000 years ago

reversal of recurring event: feel young yet? thursday is tomorrow

reversal of personal anecdote: feel young yet? my laundry is done in 52 minutes

real(?) date of a nonspecific event: feel old yet? something happened 2 years ago

lying about the reader (undershooting): feel old yet? you were born 5 years ago

lying about the reader (overshooting): feel old yet? you were born 650 years ago

making a reasonable guess about the reader: feel old yet? you were born 22 years ago

technically telling the truth about the reader: feel old yet? you were born between 0 and 120 years ago

threatening the reader: feel young yet? you will die in 7 days

non sequitur: feel old yet? half of all chameleon species on earth live in madagascar

non sequitur (lying): feel old yet? chameleons are immune to fire

lying on several levels: feel old yet? chameleons were invented 36 years ago

self-reference: feel old yet? i started writing this post 40 minutes ago

giving up: feel old yyet?th e emmenkr,tn dbw a 8 gn m hk\

i can't finish the joke someone else come up with a punchline: feel old yet?

declarative statement: you feel old.

subversive declarative statement: time isn't even real.

reference another meme: feel old yet? yeah. this is the beach that makes you old.

Perfect body: Your face and body becomes your ideal self, what you would consider to be 10/10 attractive (including any major modifications to your body like genitals or even voice.) You have the strength of prime Mike Tyson, the speed of prime Usain Bolt, and the dance moves of MJ. You will never get sick and you will age very slowly. Your natural lifespan will last all the way until you're exactly 200 (at which point you'll still be at peak health but yeah you're gonna die on your 200th birthday.)

Endless money: Fate has made it so you will always be destined to have at least a million dollars in either your account or in cash. No matter what you do, even if you spend it all at once, a series of events will somehow transpire to make you have a million again by the next day. You can make even more money through normal means, but from now on it is impossible for you to have less than a million dollars for more than 24 hours. This money acquisition will always be legal and no governing body will confront you regarding it.

Feelings control: You can make yourself feel anything at all. If you have executive dysfunction, you can instantly motivate yourself to get everything done. You can magically make yourself happy, brave, confident, and horny as you want! You can even manually control how you feel about things, like foods, movies, and other people. Bringing yourself to like things you otherwise wouldn't or vice versa. You can also adjust any physical sensation. So you can control your body temperature (without negative consequence), remove pain, and get mindblowing orgasms if you're like that. Hashtag goon!

Media generation: you can materialize art into existence with a thought. This includes videos on your phone, a new dvd suddenly in your room, a picture, drawing, painting, movie, show, game, and thensome. If there is any type of art that you would want to see at all just imagine it. The art will always appeal to your tastes (unless you want something that doesn't appeal to your tastes...) and can be made with as little or as much input as you want. So, if you just vaguely want a chainsaw man with a tgirl denji. Its there. If you have a meticulous rewrite for your least favorite game, its there. If you want an anime adaptation of a niche 40 year old manga. Its there. This power also lets you access any media from the real world, including things that are lost, destroyed, historical, etc.