eurus

i used to daydream like an addict huffing paint. i lived in my head more than anywhere else. i wasted my youth in memories that will never be mine.

i’d love to say i don’t do it anymore but it’s normal to fantasize. i am doing much better than ever before though, i don’t daydream as much anymore.

nowadays i actually have memories to recall and people to spend time with.

i’ve been putting off organizing my desk since i don’t even know when. april or may was probably the last time i used my desk properly. there’s dust all over and it’s pathetic

the only thing motivating me rn is an organizer i ordered. i don’t want to buy something everytime i have a responsibility. i’m going broke from this.

i used to pride myself with the fact that i dont have any vices; no alcohol, no cigarettes, no drugs. hell, i don’t even drink coffee. yet, i find myself so attached to this black rectangle because my brain likes 15 second reel stimuli. im rotting away like a zombie to a black rectangle.

it’s a shame because i’m too talented for this. i love to draw, sew, bake, and so much more. i shouldn’t spend my time wasting away, turning seconds into hours, hours into days.

i tried to delete the apps before but that’s deprivation, not self control. i want to have all these temptations on my phone and not touch any of them. i’m starting that journey with this blog. i’m gonna start recording my thoughts, hobbies and interests on here for anyone to see (but it’s gonna really be all for me :p)