The Cave

How I’d always wanted, longed to find someone marvelous! All my life. And no one had ever helped me enough (made me) do it. No one had ever explicitly denied me the right to “see” them, to stand at a distance from them, to understand them, to find fault with them. Everyone (I knew) always wanted, somewhere to be seen, to be understood. Now, I longed for that interdiction! (Don’t see me. I’ll see you.) For someone with the arrogance, the certitude, the talent to enforce it.

¿Que si soy feliz? La verdad es que no creo que la felicidad sea un “estado” del ser humano. La infelicidad puede serlo, pero la felicidad es, por naturaleza, un instante. El instante puede durar unos segundos, un minuto, una hora, un día y una noche, pero no creo que pueda llegar a durar nunca una semana entera. La infelicidad suele parecerse a una novela larga. La felicidad se parece más a una foto.

I long for something and don’t know what it is. Inside I am totally at a loss, restless, driven, and my head feels close to bursting again. All that pointless brooding. And right now I’m sunk in the mire. And even the certain knowledge that this too will pass has brought me no peace this time.