the bayesian asian

me, in a troubled voice: am i the puppygirl?

81k, firmly: no. you're way too productive to be the puppygirl.

me: ok.

one day out: that essay has been rattling around in my head making gunshot noises (I mostly enjoy this and am not harmed by this psychological experience). it's just so shadowy for me and many people who are terminally online

my brain was doodling around the essay idly while I made lunch and said (here follow more gunshotty brain noises, externalized into a tumblr post), you KNOW there are puppygirls out there who were intensely triggered by reading it and went to their breadwinner partner asking for reassurance. as in fact I micro did in the conversation described in the OP. and the breadwinner (honestly) says no, that's not you, you're nowhere near that bad, you literally had that job until a few months ago and you're kind of looking for another one now, you do all those crafts in your spare time, you pay SOME rent, you don't emotionally pressure me for sex. it's fine!

@witchofanguish

That doesn't mean I don't know exactly the kind of tumblr/online portrayal of which you speak, I do for sure! Just noting that Pratchett was not that deep of a thinker (complimentary) I guess.

But sports bets don’t involve shame, physical harm, or deep opaque feelings. We mostly approve of sports, and of people putting lots of time and energy into playing and watching sports. And sports bets complements those activities, making them more interesting, engaging, and better informed.

Remarking upon the charmed existence he had led since changing his course in life, former illustrator Allan Mansour confirmed Friday that the universe had practically been stumbling over itself to reward him for his decision to stop making art. “Gosh, my bank account is full, my personal life is flourishing, I have the respect of my friends back—and all it took was giving up the one creative pursuit I thought gave my life purpose,” said Mansour, a broad, warm smile spreading over his face as he reflected on how, in the months since he abandoned his decades-long artistic journey, he had met a supportive romantic partner, found a stable job in marketing, moved out of his childhood home, mended a poor relationship with his father, and enjoyed a run of beautiful weather that included a meteor shower, one he couldn’t help but see as the cosmos telling him he was right to finally discard his pathetic teenage dream. 

And that would have been... what, the turn of the century, ish? A while ago now.

Mercy is hard. Hard to do, and hard to explain. And some people just take a while to learn what the world is, and why we hesitate to hurt one another when we have the chance. They need a little nudge before they get it. That's why the story was written in the first place! And why it's a major theme in world literature- not just The Scarlet Letter, but Les Misérables, and The Merchant of Venice, and like half of Dostoevsky.

I agree that youth/ignorance is in fact upstream of a lot of teen "why don't we just do that", but I would argue that so is real life experience with harm that might be deterred by public shame, and that's a valid thing to weight when reasoning about this