alex

and when every flower wilts, and the sun doesn't shine as bright as it used to, there'll always be one person whose shoulders will always be there for your head to rest on. and when you cry your heart out and cuss the world that birthed you, there'll always be a pair of hands that will tightly grip yours and hold them while your whole frame shakes. and when you're cold and it feels like your insides will never be warm again, i'll kiss you for so long that the fire between my lungs lights you up with the hope of what's to come

i wake up everyday with an uncomfortable tightness in my chest, the stress of every passing day choking me, and then i remember my friends. i always feel on the verge of a breakdown when i think about how behind on college i am, then i remind myself that everyday i go to classes is a day i get to sit next to my friends. every time i manage to make one of my friends laugh it feels like flowers are blooming, like there is sun shining in on my insides and for a little while it feels like everything will be okay again. each time i spend a couple of hours watching some random show with them or we go out for coffee, i can make myself think that everything will turn out well for all of us. because in those moments i realize that this is what life is actually about. crying with your friends over family trauma, spending half an hour coloring the lid of some random shoebox, cooking together in your kitchen, gossiping while we ride the bus, drinking wine on my couch while we laugh at the past. we are made to socialize and bond with people we never thought we'd exchange more than a greeting with. this is what keeps me going, the thought that if i make it through a day at a time, i'll always get to see my friends after the day passes and we'll buy overpriced sweets together at the little store next to our college.

and it wouldn’t be the last time he would go through this heartbreak and betrayal either, because as much as this dangerous closeness hurt, the distance hurt much more.