the vessel of dad jokes

As requested by anon. :)

And as we all know, when Wayne wears someone's hat, he basically becomes them. And if this list has taught me one thing, it's that I do not know which Cosmere characters wear hats other than, like, Veil.

1. Wayne with a pirate hat on (he's Tress!)

I don't know if Tress wears a pirate hat, but I still think Wayne could make this work.

Wayne: Wax, meet my new friend Daniel! Wax: ... Wax: You, uh, mean Dan the Slasher? A man very, very wanted for slashing faces? Wayne: Well, actually, he prefers to go by "Daniel," and it turns out, he was only slashing faces to make people smile, but we had a really good talk about boundaries and he thinks that, after jail, he might try to be a stand-up comedian instead. Wax: You convinced him to turn himself in?? Wayne: Yeah. Wayne: Is that okay?

2. Wayne with a mistcloak (he's Vin!)

A mistcloak has a hood, and therefore, it is a sort of hat.

Wayne: All clothes are just a costume, you know? Wayne: When I wear this, I'm giving people a warning that I am dangerous, that I kill. Wayne: But when I wear a bow and a dress to a party, I'm telling people that I belong, that I'm probably not going to kill them. Wayne: ... Wayne: Sometimes that second part's a lie.

3. Wayne with a mistcloak (but now he's Kelsier!)

Again, the hood makes it a hat.

Wayne: I think people misunderstand "ruthless." Wayne: It doesn't mean "mean." It doesn't mean "cruel." Wayne: It means you see the path from where you are to where you need to be, and you follow that path, regardless of whether or not it takes you through some dark places. Wayne: And me? Wayne: Well in some ways, let's just say I'm a "Pathian."

4. Wayne wearing the hat that Masaka made (he's Nikaro!)

Yes, at this point I was in fact using ctrl "F" to find "hat" on people's Coppermind page, why?

Wayne: I am a lone hunter. Wayne: But I am wearing a hat made for me by my former friend. Wayne: But only at night. Wayne: In the shadows. Wayne: Where no one can see that I am very lonely. Wax: It's a cute hat. Wayne: H-How long have you been standing there??

5. Wayne wearing a white brimmed hat (he's Veil!)

Finally, a character who characteristically wears a hat!

Wayne: I'll leave the long-term planning to you, Marasi. Wayne: Me? I'm going to go to a bar, drink more wine than people think I can handle, and see what they say when they think I won't remember. Wayne: Little do they know, I can't forget. Marasi: ... Marasi: Why am I weirdly attracted to you right now?

6. Wayne wearing puppy ears (he's TenSoon!)

Say it with me, kids: Puppy ears are a hat.

Wayne: Kids these days don't remember. Wayne: How it was when the world was ash. Wayne: When death nipped at the heels of infants and the sky was so black that you could never even see the stars. Wayne: ... Wayne: And I'm so glad they don't. Wax: ... Wax: Why are you lying on my porch in dog ears? Wayne: Old dogs need the sun's warmth.

7. Wayne with Syl on his head (he's Kaladin!)

A Syl sitting on your head is a sort of hat. And Syl is always up for helping someone understand Kaladin.

Wax: Uh, Wayne? It's 3am. Why are you sitting on my roof staring off into the darkness? Wayne: No time to sleep. Wayne: Every moment I sleep is a moment I am not throwing myself bodily into the teeth of problems that will otherwise consume the innocent. Wax: You, uh, have time to brood though? Wayne: I have to rest sometimes. Wax: ... Wax: This is rest??

8. Wayne with a bald cap (he's Szeth!)

A bald cap is a sort of hat.

Propaganda:

If I need propaganda for this one, I've already lost.