i don't know what i'm doing help

Why?

Just because sex, prostitution, erotica are available doesn't mean every single person partakes. The precious few times we see him he is a social outcast. Being virginal isn't about him being a prude (though it can been written that way which is fun); it's about him not engaging in the same activities as his peers.

Buffy: Go away

Dawn: help!

when spike points out that angel views his soul as a curse, as punishment, as being forced to live with the guilt of everything he's done, whereas spike fought for his soul. nearly died for it. the demon with no soul still wanted to do the right thing, to be a good man, so desperately he would destroy himself for the chance.

and then angel says something VERY interesting to spike. spike says he thinks angel hates him because he's a living reminder of his evil. "cause every time you look at me, you see every dirty little thing i've done. all the lives i've taken. because of you. drusilla sired me, but you made me a monster."

and angel, the man who, without his soul, tortures and kills people sadistically for fun and feasting, the man who insists he is not angelus, says, "i didn’t make you, spike. i just opened up the door and let the real you out."

SUCH an interesting thing to say, angel! let's talk about this. no, please—go on. explain how you are better than spike in any way. i'm fascinated. i'd love to hear how you and angelus are different people but the demon who possessed william the poet is somehow the same as the man.

hm. ok. so the queen’s thief is about a trickster who wants to go down in history but as soon as it starts happening he’s like NO NOT LIKE THAT. and also about the people he befriends against their will :)

it’s an ancient greece/byzantine era-inspired world that starts off very focused on one person and then as his significance grows it zooms out to show you more and more of what it becomes increasingly clear are history-making events of this land, gradually gaining perspective and quickly gaining layers and layers of political intrigue, all of which is connected on thematic levels to the mythology of this world

...but it all starts with a grimy teenager sitting in prison because he got busted for bragging about how good he is at stealing

you should read it if you love mythology, courtly intrigue, and ruthless politics being no match for the saving power of trusting those you love. if you don’t love slow, classic fantasy quest road trips maybe don’t start with the first book tho

featuring characters such as:

a thief who wants to be famous. what kind of thief wants to be famous for being a thief. gen that’s so dumb

a pure beam of sunshine who will commit acts of international violence

a guard who is having a very bad day

an accountant who is having an even worse day

a queen whom i love and adore with all my heart

a queen who has murdered many people whom i also love and adore with all my heart

many tired old men