“Every night I save you”

ANGEL: LACKING AN EGO

Angel is a unique vampire because he has a soul (ego). However, his is a soul forced on him, which is why he is left grappling with what to do with it:

Whistler: And I wanna know who you are. Angel: You already do. Whistler: Not yet. But I'm looking to find out. 'Cause you could go either way here.

Angel's defining trait is his lack of a strong sense of self. Who is Angel? A hero or a monster? A person on the path of redemption or a wrecked being running from guilt? Angel himself doesn't know. This is why he and Buffy grow so attracted towards each other. Teenage Buffy too has no idea of who she is and she too finds herself caught between two sides: slayer and girl, light and shadow. So, the vampire with a soul and the girl with the strength of a demon project on each other. They try to find in the other an answer to the question "Who am I?"

Who is Buffy?

Buffy's first crush before Angel is Owen, a normal boy who loves poetry and is sweet. They hook up and Buffy gets a date, but soon this date spirals into a much more dangerous situation. Owen gets involved and Buffy is forced to lie to him about what is going on. That said, everything is solved for the better and Owen even tells Buffy he enjoyed their time together. Still, Owen's words actually trigger Buffy:

Owen: I don't really know how to say this, but... about last night... Buffy: You don't even have to. I'm sure you were pretty freaked out. Owen: Totally. (Buffy looks down) And... I was wondering when I could see you again. Buffy: (looks back up) Um, that was my hopeful ear. Could you repeat that? Owen: I think you're the coolest! Buffy: (smiles) Really? Owen: I mean, last night was incredible! I never thought nearly getting killed would make me feel so... alive! Buffy: (looks down and starts to walk) So that's why you wanna be with me. Owen: (follows her) Oh, absolutely! When can we do something like that again? Buffy: Something like... Owen: Like, walk downtown at three in the morning, a-and pick a fight in a bar. How about tonight?

As a 16 year old Buffy clings to her normal life. She has yet to fully embrace her mission as the slayer. So, she is really looking for someone who is able to see her duality and to appreciate her for who she is outside her mission. Still, no normal boy would be able to do it, so she looks for someone who is already part of the fantastical world. Someone who is part of it, but is not defined by it. Like Angel, who is a vampire, but wants to still be good.

Who is Angel?

Angel meets Buffy while he is looking for himself. Whistler leads him to the new slayer and Angel starts projecting his own issues on her. This is shown pretty clearly in the scene where Angel is spying on Buffy's home from the street:

Two things about this scene:

1- It focuses on Buffy's parents' fights and on her father's aggressiveness. Moreover, it highlights how Buffy's home situation gets worse because of her call as the slayer. This leads Buffy to unconsciously believe she is the reason why her family gets destroyed. This is a feeling Angel relates to, since he too was the black ship of his family and was despised by his father. Not only that, but he ends up physically killing his parents and little sister.

2- It is directed in a way which resembles a game of mirrors. We follow Angel's point of view until the camera zooms on Buffy as she is looking at her own reflection in the mirror. The meaning is rather clear: Angel sees Buffy as his reflection. This is poignant as Angel is obsessed by his lack of a mirror image. This is a trait shared by all vampires, but Spike, Harmony and others do not mind that much. Angel instead keeps mentioning it because he is obsessed by his missing identity. So, the moment he sees Buffy, he latches onto her as his own reflection. Through her he can be someone:

ANGEL: I want to help her. I want to. . . I want to become someone. I want to help.

So, Buffy and Angel both have a weak sense of self that they try to compensate through the other. Except that you can't depend on someone else to be your own person. So, Buffy and Angel have sex to crown their relationship, but they are both immature, just like their bond (yeah, the framing of sex in the series is not great, but I am working with what I am given). As a result, Angel loses his soul and reveals a darker side of himself neither he nor Buffy want to accept:

Jenny: He's not Angel anymore. Are you? Angelus: Wrong. I *am* Angel. At last! I got a message for Buffy. Buffy: Why don't you give it to me yourself? Angelus: Well, it's not really the kind of message you tell. It sort of involves finding the bodies of all your friends. Buffy: This can't be you. Angelus: Gee, we already covered that subject.

The twist is that Angel is Angelus. Not only that, but it is impossible to understand who Angel is without Angelus. That is because Angelus is Angel's id. He is all that is left when you strip Angel of his sense of self (ego) and of his sense of right and wrong (superego). He embodies Angel's defining wishes and fears. So, what are they? What does Angel want and what does he fear?

Angel's defining wish is to be someone and his deepest fear is to be no-one.

When Angel is driven by his wish, he pursues a greater purpose because he thinks he can become someone if he has a big and important destiny. As Angel, his destiny is to save the world. As Angelus, it is to destroy it.

When Angel is driven by his fear, he tries to destroy others. After all, if he is no-one, then everybody else must be empty, as well. He does it with Drusilla, Spike, and Buffy.

Season 2 finale shows Angel's two coping mechanisms very well.

On the one hand Angel jumps at the chance to destroy the world by freeing Acathla. He also puts a lot of focus on the idea that Acathla can be freed only by someone "worthy":

ANGEL: Everything that I am, everything that I have done, has led me here.This night. This act. (to the statue) You will be free. In a lightning-quick motion, he grabs the hilt of the sword. White light fills the room, along with a crackling energy -- that stops in an instant as Angel is thrown back to the floor. The sword is still in the statue. Angel looks at it, uncomprehending. SPIKE (singsong): Someone wasn't worthy. . .

On the other hand Angel's final confrontation with Buffy is a final attempt to break her:

ANGEL: That's everything, huh? No weapons, no friends. No hope. Take all that away and what's left?

This final attempt both fails and works.

It fails because Angelus's psychological torture can't break Buffy. She endures all his violence and manipulation and is able to stop his attack and to answer "Me" to his question about who Buffy is.

It works because Angel eventually beaks Buffy when she is forced to kill him after his soul gets restored.

As a matter of fact Buffy's worst fear is to be a monster who will hurt the person she loves. In a sense, her nightmare is to become exactly like Angelus :P. This fear is conveyed pretty directly in the episode I Only Have Eyes for You:

BUFFY: No. James destroyed the person he loved the most in a moment of blind passion. And that's not something you forgive. No matter why he did what he did. No matter if he knows now that it was wrong and stupid and selfish. He's just going to have to live with it…

In the scene above Buffy is really talking about herself. She sees herself as the one who unwillingly "killed" Angel by having sex with him. This idea that she is wrong and that her love kills is something that permeates all her story. It was already present in Owen (what if the guy I love dies because of me? What if he is attracted to me because I am death?) and it just gets worse with Angel. In fact by the end of season 2 Buffy truly kills Angel and she can't even use the excuse that the one she is murdering is not Angel at all, but a soulless devil in his body. So, Buffy does what she is the most scared of doing and becomes who she does not want to become. As a result, she leaves herself (her friends, family, mission and city) behind and becomes "Ann" for a while.

However, Buffy eventually finds the strength to come back and face herself. She wants to heal and season 3 is really about this when it comes to her and Angel. Buffy finds an amnesiac and out of control Angel and decides to help him find himself again. That is because she hopes she will find herself too in the process. This healing journey reaches its beautiful climax in the episode Amends:

Here Buffy tells Angel he can become someone better if he does not give up his life. And so can she, if she just keeps on fighting. This is a very powerful scene and it is the first step of Angel and Buffy both towards healing and self-actualization. Theirs is a transformation they start together. However, they can't really continue it together because their relationship does not help their respective growths. This becomes obvious throughout season 3, where Buffy and Angel can't really accept neither each other's darkest sides nor their own shadows. As a result, their relationship stays mostly superficial and they can never fully address their real problems. This is highlighted by Buffy's two Jungian shadows in the series: Spike and Faith. Both characters draw out what other characters (Buffy especially) are hiding or repressing.

Spike is the one, who points out to Buffy and Angel they are tricking each other into thinking they can just be "friends". He realizes they are just lying to themselves and also mentions the inherent violence present in their relationship: "Last time I looked in on you, you two were fighting to the death." Spike's intervention ultimately helps because it leads to Buffy and Angel taking a break only to come back together in Amends, with a more mature outlook on their bond.

Faith is the one, who draws out Buffy's fears and insecurities over her relationship with Angel. In Enemies, Buffy and Angel come up with a ruse to trick Faith. Specifically, Angel acts as if Angelus is back, pretends to attack Buffy and to reciprocate Faith's feelings for him. Buffy and Angel come out on top since they discover the truth about Faith and the Mayor's plans. However, Buffy is disturbed by what happened. In particular, it is made clear she is scared by how much Angel acts similar to Angelus. Of course, there is no surprise here because they are deep down the same person :P Still, Buffy can't truly accept it, so she chooses to take a little break from Angel.

The problem is that this conflict gets never solved. If anything the episode Earshot to me makes clear Angel and Buffy refuse to dig deeper into themselves. In this episode, Buffy gets the ability to read people's mind and goes to face Angel. This is the conversation they share:

BUFFY I mean really quick. Listen to me. I'm talking like Faith. You know, not that she was so bad to have around... You know, before the evil... You know, I think she was hurting a lot. And some people, protective type people, might be drawn to that I guess... Well, the thing about Faith- ANGEL You can't get into my mind. BUFFY How did you...why not? ANGEL It's like the mirror. The thoughts are there, but they create no reflection in you. You got the aspect of the demon. BUFFY Yeah, Giles doesn't know how long it's gonna last. It's OK, a little headachy, but... ANGEL You don't have to play games with me Buffy. Ever. BUFFY Well, you're not exactly Joe-here's- what-I'm-thinking. ANGEL So ask me. BUFFY Oh, but that woulda made sense. ANGEL What do you wanna know about? Faith? How I felt kissing her, pretending to have no soul? Watching you suffer? BUFFY Well, since you bring it up... ANGEL I hated hurting you, more than I could stand. BUFFY Look, the thing about Faith, I'd understand. You know, she has, you know, that whole bad girl thing working for her. ANGEL Kissing her meant nothing. I don't want a bad girl. I've done that before. I've lived a long time Buffy, and I'm past that. I've been with dozens of girls like her. More. BUFFY Oh this honesty stuff is funnn. ANGEL I mean, there's no comparison. In two-hundred-forty-three years, I've loved exactly one person. BUFFY Ohh...it is me right? ANGEL Next time, just ask.

Of course the interaction itself is fine. Buffy is able to bring up her problems and Angel gives an honest answer. Still, to me it feels that this scene is re-framing the problem. What upsets Buffy in Enemies is not really her jealousy towards Faith, but Angel acting as Angelus. It brings up unsolved trauma. However, Buffy is not really able to admit this is the real issue. Even in this conversation the moment Angel touches on him pretending to be Angelus, Buffy quickly shifts the focus on Faith. And Angel lets her do that. In a sense, they are both using Faith to avoid facing the big elephant in the room that is Angelus. Not only that, but even Angel telling Buffy that he doesn't want a "bad girl" is interesting. After all, the whole point of Buffy is that she is a bad girl and a hero. She is both. Buffy is deep down very similar to Faith because Faith represents Buffy's dark side. And yet, Angel does not catch onto this (or he chooses to ignore this). In short, both Angel and Buffy ignore their respective shadows (Angelus and Faith) both in themselves and in the other. This is why they are stuck and can't truly mature through their relationship. So, their bond symbolically comes to an end after two speeches about growing up.

The first one is the Mayor's speech:

Mayor: Well, I wish you kids the best, I really do. But if you don't mind a bit of fatherly advice, I, uh, I-I just don't see much of a future for you two. I don't sense a lasting relationship. And not just because I plan to kill you. You two have a bumpy road ahead. Buffy: I don't think we need to talk about this. Mayor: God, you kids, you know. You don't like to think about the future. You don't like to make plans. Unless you want Faith to gut your friend like a sea bass, show a little respect for your elders. Angel: You're not my elder. I've got a lotta years on you. Mayor: Yeah, and that's just one of the things you're going to have to deal with. You're immortal, she's not. It's not. I married my Edna May in ought-three and I was with her right until the end. Not a pretty picture. Wrinkled and senile and cursing me for my youth. Wasn't our happiest time. And let's not forget the fact that any moment of true happiness will turn you evil. I mean, come on. What kind of a life can you offer her? I don't see a lot of Sunday picnics in the offing. I see skulking in the shadows, hiding from the sun. She's a blossoming young girl and you want to keep her from the life she should have until it has passed her by. My God! I think that's a little selfish. Is that what you came back from Hell for? Is that your greater purpose? (he stares at Angel for a moment and then shakes his head in disgust) Make the trade.

The second one is Joyce's speech:

JOYCE: She's just starting out in life. ANGEL: I know. Believe me. I think about it. More now that she's staying in Sunnydale. JOYCE: Good. Because when it comes to you, Angel - Buffy's not a slayer. She's just like any other Young woman in love. You're all she can see of tomorrow. But I think we both know there's gonna be some hard choices ahead. If she can't make them, you're going to have to. I know you care about her.I just hope you care enough.

The conversations are similar. A parental figure tells Angel to act as an adult, so that Buffy too is free to grow up. In short, the Mayor and Joyce's words highlight that to develop as people Angel and Buffy must part ways.

When it comes to Angel specifically, the Mayor's focus on Angel's "greatest purpose" is important. It seems like a little thing when you read the script, but in the episode the acting highlights the effect these words have on Angel. This is not a surprise because deep down Angel is not primarily motivated by his relationships, but rather by the desire to have a great and important mission.

In season 2 he shifts his focus from tormenting Buffy to destroying the world, once a big shiny prophecy enters the plot.

In season 3 he ultimately chooses to pursue a big destiny on his own, rather than to stay together with Buffy.

In any case, thanks to the Mayor and to Joyce, Angel realizes his relationship with Buffy is getting in the way of both his and Buffy's futures, so he chooses to end it. He decides to start acting "as an adult" and to grow up. This is why he leaves the series after season 3.

This break-up is metaphorically important for Buffy, as well. As a matter of fact Angel leaving coincides with her graduation. In short, the end of the relationship marks the end of Buffy's adolescence. During her school years, Buffy struggles together with Angel with the question "who am I?". Still, to find an answer she needs to progress into adulthood, where she will find two new partners.

RILEY AND SPIKE: SUPEREGO AND ID

Buffy is both light and shadow, girl and slayer. So, she needs someone, who shares this duplicity with her. This is why Angel worked for a while, as he has both sides. He is both hero and murderer, man and monster, superego (with soul) and id (soulless). However, Angel's two sides are not integrated, which is why he can not help Buffy become a fully developed person. She needs someone else to do so, which is why Riley and Spike enter her life.

Riley and Spike are both incomplete when they join the Scoobies in season 4.

Riley is a wannabe hero dominated by his superego. He is a soldier, who has been conditioned to be lawful and obey orders, without considering if these orders are morally right or not. He lacks a strong heart and is out of touch with his unconscious (id).

Spike is a wannabe big bad dominated by his id. He is a vampire, who is driven by his instincts and deepest desires. He acts before thinking because he follows his every whim and emotion. He lacks a rational mind and laws to follow (superego).

This is why the two men go through complementary arcs, which are commented by the chips (superegos) the Initiative puts into them.

On the one hand the Initiative puts a chip in Riley's heart to condition him and eventually control him. The organization tries to turn Riley into a perfect soldier with no will of his own. So, Riley's growth lies into taking the chip out, so that he can follow his heart.

On the other hand the Initiative puts a chip in Spike's brain to stop him from killing humans. This puts Spike into a gray zone, where he is neither a human nor a monster. He can't live as a person because he lacks an ego (soul). However, he can't be a monster dominated by his id anymore. It is a painful process, but Spike needs to go through it to find himself again. This is why he is negated the chance to take the chip out. He needs it to learn to live together with people again, so that he can rediscover his humanity.

In short, Riley and Spike start season 4 with flawed perceptions of themselves. They think they perfectly fit in their respective societies (the Initiative and the underground magical world), but they need to leave their comfort zones to discover new sides of who they are.

At the same time, the two men represent two different sides of Buffy.

Riley is the Buffy, who wants to be human, to live a normal happy life (superego). This is why our girl is at her most integrated with human society when she is together with Riley. In season 4 she successfully goes to college and has her most normal "perfect" boyfriend. She even finds a way to reconcile her slayer call with human society, as she joins a military organization which fights monsters. Perfect, right? Except that it isn't. No matter how much Buffy tries to repress it, there is a part of her that doesn't fit into societies' boxes. This is why she struggles to fit into the Initiative, even before discovering Walsh's evil plan. She dislikes their uniforms, asks too many questions, approaches monsters not like animals, but as sentient creatures. Not only that, but Buffy has trouble opening up with Riley, just like Riley has trouble fully understanding Buffy. In particular, it is a recurring theme that Riley does not get what a slayer is or how strong Buffy is:

Riley: Don't get me wrong. The girls I grew up with could hold their own. But . . . I'm not even sure I could take you.

Spike is the Buffy, who feels like a monster and has an unconscious desire to die (id). It is a part of her, which is repressed in season 4, but is still there. This is why Buffy insists on not killing Spike and looks for justifications not to do it. Of course she can't kill Spike, she needs him to find the Initiative! Except that Riley is much more useful to discover the truth behind the organization than Spike is. Of course she can't kill Spike, he is a good guy now! And yet, Spike insists he isn't and is not even remotely that helpful or useful. Of course she won't kill Spike, he can't defend himself and is not dangerous anymore! He isn't until he joins forces with Adam, manipulates the Scoobies and breaks the group up. No matter what, Buffy refuses to kill Spike. Why? Because by this point Buffy can't help, but to unconsciously see Spike as a person. She probably can't help it since season 2, when she was at her lowest and he popped up to offer a truce. She probably can't help it since season 3, when he came back as a broken-up drama queen and delivered some truth to her and Angel. In short, Buffy sees too much humanity in Spike, hence why she can't bring herself to kill him as he is defenseless. At the same time, in a season full of men, who look down on Buffy (Riley to an extent, Adam, McNamara, etc.), Spike is the one, who fully gets Buffy's "slayer" side and does not underestimate her strength:

Mr. Ward: Yes, uh . . . Buffy Summers. Our data banks don't have much on her. McNamara: She's just a girl Spike: She's a lot more than that. The Slayer's dangerous is all I'm saying. Adam: Yes. She makes things interesting. Spike: No. See? You're not getting it, Mr. Bits. You're gonna be interestingly dead. Little Miss Tiny's got a habit of bollixing up the plans of every would-be, unstoppable bad-ass who sets foot in this town. Just want you to know, when the big ugly goes down, the Slayer's gonna be right in the thick of it.

So, Riley is Buffy's superego, while Spike is Buffy's id. Buffy's relationship with Riley is an attempt she does to live in society as a "normal" person. She is repressing all her psychological problems and unsolved trauma. And yet, she can't avoid them forever, which is why her bond with Riley does not last. At the same time, even in the season dedicated to Riley and Buffy, Spike is still in the background to remind the slayer there is an irrational part of her she can't get rid of:

Buffy to Riley: Hey. Look, I'm sorry about earlier. I know everyone came on pretty strong. And the Spike thing isn't as tweaked as it looked. Okay, maybe it is. But there's an explanation that almost makes sense.

Neither Buffy nor Riley like it nor can understand it. And yet, it is there, ready to come out in all its strength in season 5.

RILEY: BODY

Riley and Buffy's relationship is important in season 4 and season 5.

In season 4 Riley and Buffy's bond is at its strongest and it has a positive impact. On the one hand Buffy is given the chance to live a relationship with a human partner. For a moment she even believes she has found the right person to reconcile her slayer side with her human side. On the other hand Riley grows immensely thanks to Buffy. He learns to question things and that he should be a man before he is a soldier. He needs to face complexity and to come up with his own answer to it.

In season 5 Riley and Buffy's bond deteriorates and shows its limits. On the one hand Buffy struggles to open up and count on Riley. On the other hand Riley just proves he is not the right person to support Buffy because he... doesn't. Instead of acting selflessly and to be there for Buffy at her terms in a very difficult time for her (which Buffy does for him in season 4 btw), Riley makes their relationship about his insecurities. This creates a negative spiral, which ends with their break-up.

Why is there such a difference between season 4 and 5? It is because these two seasons are meant to be seen thematically as opposite and complementary.

Season 4 is linked to the element "earth". Think about episodes like Pangs (it starts with Xander awakening an ancient magic by falling into a hole) or Doomed (the climax is underground). Not only that, but Spike is re-introduced in the narrative while digging and so covered in earth. More importantly, the Initiative itself is underground and there is where the final fight happens. This is not by chance because "earth" is the element of the physical, which is the plane explored in season 4. This season does not really delve deeply into the main characters, but it prepares the terrain (pun intended) for future seasons. This is also why we see the characters relatively happy. Of course they are! They are metaphorically sticking their heads in the sand and repressing their most complicated sides. This superficiality is shared also by Adam, who is meant to be a first exploration of what the "self" is. After all, Adam is looking for himself, just like the protagonists. However, he looks for a rational answer, where the answer is irrational. This is why he loses badly against Buffy in Full Slayer mode. Adam is a mix of body parts. He is "just a body". Slayer Buffy is instead a mix of more complex things. She is a mix of her different parts (heart, mind, soul) and of her relationships. This is what a person truly is.

Season 5 is linked to the element of "air". Think about Ben summoning a monster from space and more importantly to the final fight happening at the top of a tower from where Buffy jumps to die into magical lightening. Even more so, there are several references to heaven (Glory is a goddess) and to the sky (Dawn's name is a celestial one). This happens because season 5 gets more psychological than previous ones and starts exploring themes like depression, grief and death. It marks a passage from the physical plane (earth) to the spiritual one (air). It is the season of the "mind" and this idea is beautifully embodied by the villain Glory, who is a metaphor for mental illness. She is the id (unconscious) taking over the ego (conscious). This is why she devours people's minds to survive. At the same time, the season is full of other references to mental problems. For example, the people Glory preys on that lose their rationality or Joyce's brain tumor or Buffy's spiral which ends with Willow entering the slayer's mind. In short, season 5 marks the passage from the superego (earth, body, physical plane) to the id (air, mind, spiritual plane). This transformation symbolically starts in episode 1, where Dracula (the most vampire ever, so an embodiment of the id) tells Buffy she needs to go deeper into herself.

Buffy: I’m not hungry. Dracula: No. Your craving goes deeper than that. You think you know. . . what you are. . . what’s to come. You haven’t even begun. Find it. The darkness. Find your true nature.

Ok, but why is all of this important for Riley and Buffy? it's because this passage from the physical to the spiritual is what puts their relationship into a crisis. As a matter of fact Riley is a character linked to the superego, to earth and to the body. He doesn't have what it takes to go deeper into himself and to face the darkest part of Buffy. This is made obvious by how he misunderstands Buffy's mission. He sees the slayer call as a physical quest, rather than a spiritual journey. As a result, he tries to assist Buffy physically, but he misses that his girlfriend needs a spiritual partner. Basically, he misunderstands Buffy during this key moment and things snowball from here:

Riley's misunderstanding of Buffy is two-fold:

1- Riley believes Buffy's words mean she does not love him, but still needs him. So, he thinks that as long as he is needed by Buffy, their relationship can work. However, the point is that Buffy is a traumatized girl, who struggles to express her feelings. After the huge walking trauma that was Angel she takes ageeeeeeeeees to tell someone else she loves him. And this is not even something limited to her romantic bonds. Later in season 5 Buffy has a whole conversation with Giles about how she struggles to feel and to tell others she loves them. In short, Riley focuses too much on the literal meaning of Buffy's words, rather than on their subtext and on who Buffy is as a person.

2- Riley believes that to be needed by Buffy, he must be useful physically. He needs to be strong enough or resourceful enough because only in this way he can be on pair with her. In short, he can't understand that Buffy does not need a soldier, but a man. What Buffy wants and needs is someone, who will support her emotionally. And yet, when Buffy needs him the most Riley is not there because he is too self-absorbed and busy playing Captain America. This tendency of his comes out more and more in three different episodes.

In Family, Riley and Buffy have a short fight because Riley realizes Buffy is hiding something from him. By that point Buffy has just discovered about Dawn and feels not safe sharing the truth about her sister. It is a complicated situation and both parties have their reasons. However, Riley's choice is to leave angered, rather than giving Buffy his unconditional support. Sure, it is understandable, but it is also the first instance of Riley choosing not to help, when he could. Case in point, Riley could have helped the Scoobies research Glory at Giles' shop. He instead goes to the vampire bar, where he will eventually hook up with a vampire prostitute.

In Fool For Love, Riley helps Buffy physically. He saves her life from the vampire, medicates her and later on takes on patrolling and kills the vampire nest on his own. Great, right? Not really because he fails at doing what Buffy truly needs, which is to stay by her side. He chooses to go on adventures, rather than to spend the night with his wounded girlfriend. Incidentally, this is the episode where Spike (rightfully) points out Buffy has suicidal tendencies. It is also the moment where Joyce tells Buffy she needs to go to the hospital for some examinations. In short, it is a moment of great vulnerability for Buffy, but Riley is too busy killing monsters to just... be there.

In Listening To Fear, Riley is already at the climax of his spiral. For once Buffy asks him to help her practically and he fails to even do that. He does not show up during patrols because he is at the vampire brothel. Then he leaves the Scoobies behind and goes solo with the American Military. When Willow calls him because she is worried for Buffy and Joyce, Riley quickly dismisses her worries (he is in good faith here of course). He realizes Willow is right only when it is too late and rushes to Buffy's house after she has already killed the monster.

Now, these three episodes show an escalation. Throughout them Riley grows more and more unhappy with his relationship. He goes from refusing to help in a relatively minor thing (research) to try to support Buffy in a way she does not ask (killing the vampire nest) to outright failing to prioritize Buffy when she needs it (not showing up during patrol and being more focused on the mission rather than Buffy and Joyce's situation).

At the same time, Riley missing the army becomes clearer, as well. In Family, what spurs his fight with Buffy is her refusal to get the military involved. In Fool For Love, he tries to force the Scoobies to act as soldiers by using military codes. In Listening To Fear, he ditches the Scoobies and calls in the soldiers. In short, it is obvious Riley simply does not fit in Buffy's world and misses his old one.

Finally, for every time Riley fails to show up or to be present, Spike is there. Spike comes to Giles's shop in Family and helps solve the conflict. Spike is the one Buffy spends the night with in Fool For Love. He is the one who is with her when Buffy is lonely and crying for Joyce. Spike is the one who helps Buffy fight the meteorite monster. Now, to be clear Spike is no saint and his motivations during these episodes are very selfish. Still, the point is that for one reason or another he ends up being there. Riley simply isn't.

This whole situation spirals the moment Riley starts going to the vampire brothel. The brothel is a (not even that much) metaphorical way to introduce a cheating plot-line. It is also Riley's first step towards his own shadow and dark side. See, Riley sees himself as a "good guy" and for the most part he is. Still, he has a dark side, like everyone else. He intuitively realizes he should delve into this dark side to better understand Buffy. After all, this is his own explanation as for why he did what he did:

Riley: I think, when this thing started, it was just some stupid, immature game. I wanted to even the score after you let Dracula bite you. Buffy: I did not *let* Dracula- Riley: I know. On some level I know that. But I was still spun. I don't know, I - I wanted to know what you felt. I wanted to know why Dracula and Angel have so much power over you. Buffy: You so don't get it. Riley: I wanted to get it, Buffy. I wanted to get you.

This moment could have led to significant growth for Riley, if he had reckoned with his darkest part (the id). The problem is that he doesn't. The moment he gets a glimpse of what he is repressing, he runs away instead than facing it. Not only that, but he basically blames this part of himself on Buffy. It is Buffy's fault that he has fallen so low. It is her strange and complicated world, that is bringing out the worst in Riley. In short, the moment Riley goes a little deeper into himself (and Buffy too, since he tastes some of her less ideals traits, like her trouble at communicating), he does not like what he sees and chooses to go back to the surface. He goes back to the superego, to earth and to the body:

Ellis: It's not the Initiative, Finn. We don't do experiments. None of us give a damn what makes monsters tick. We just stop 'em. Riley: What do you need me for? Ellis: I think you can handle yourself. And I always need bodies.

It is all in the words Ellis uses to describe the job to Riley. The military does not need to "understand". They do not go deep into the supernatural world. They do not care about how things work. They simply fight monsters physically. As Ellis says, they are just "bodies". Riley finds himself at a crossroad:

He can go deeper into Buffy's world, who Buffy is and so who he himself is

He can go back to a more superficial understanding of reality, where he does not have to face neither the world's nor his own darkness

And Riley's choice is... to leave Buffy the choice. In short, he is once again not determined enough to make his own choice, like in season 4. And yet, this is in itself a choice. Riley leaves, gives up going deeper into the realm of the unconscious and goes back to the reassuring realm of the conscious.

Riley's departure is important for Buffy because it brings to the surface what Riley's presence was hiding:

Xander: Make you feel better? Buffy: What are you doing here? Xander: I thought you might need to talk. Then I saw the skirmish happen. I was gonna lend a hand, but I noticed you grew a few extra ones. Buffy: (angrily) Go home, Xander. (...) Buffy: I don't even know who he is any more. I mean, I thought he was ... dependable. Xander: Dependable? What is he, State Farm? Buffy: You know what I mean. Xander: Yeah. I think you mean convenient. I think you took it for granted that he was gonna show up when you wanted him to, and take off when you didn't. (...) Xander: I lied. See, what I think, you got burned with Angel, then Riley shows up. Buffy: I know the story, Xander. Xander: But you miss the point. You shut down, Buffy. And you've been treating Riley like the rebound guy.

Don't get me wrong, I hate this scene like everyone else (it is preachy, unnecessary and badly made). Still, it is convenient to point out what her break-up with Riley is meant to represent for Buffy.

1- Riley's behavior draws out Buffy's most violent side. Buffy's reaction to Riley's cheating is very violent. She lashes out against the vampires in a way she herself knows it is not healthy. This is why she tells them all not to attack her. She knows that if they do she is going to exterminate them all. And yes, they are vampires, but they are not particularly violent (especially the girls) and are actually trying to coexist with humans without killing them. Buffy's last kill is especially cruel because the girl is clearly terrified and definitely not to blame for Riley's cheating. Still, Buffy can't separate her from Riley and coldly kills her after giving her a hope spot.

2- The end of the relationship with Riley brings to the surface Buffy's struggle with intimacy. She has trouble expressing her feelings and depending on others. She is very rarely vulnerable even with her loved ones and this trait is bound to get worse in the upcoming seasons. In particular, as the series progresses Buffy is often called out for being cold and sometimes taking others for granted. Riley is just the first prominent example of this tendency.

In conclusion, Riley leaves and gives up a deeper understanding of himself. So, is this all? Is all Riley's previous development for nothing? Not really. First of all, Riley's choice still stems from Buffy's advice in season 4:

Buffy: It's a choice. Go back in there and maybe make some changes from the inside. Or you can quit the team. Fight demons in your own way.

Riley can't find his own way to fight demons. However, he goes back to the military with a new outlook and more maturity. This development is hinted at in regards to Riley's relationship with Spike.

Now, Riley and Spike will never be friends nor see things eye to eye. And yet, their bond is important because they represent two different sides of Buffy. So, Riley's progressively accepting Spike or at least Buffy's bond with Spike is important. Even in this case, there is a slow change.

In Into The Woods, Riley goes visit Spike before facing Buffy. He is lashing out at Spike, so he does not have to truly face his shortcomings. However, Spike and Riley's confrontation ends with Spike putting Riley in front of his own limits. At the same time, Riley is able to empathize with Spike a little bit, in regards to their shared feelings for Buffy.

In As You Were, Riley discovers Buffy and Spike's situation-ship. He is given the ok from his superiors to kill Spike, but asks Buffy and respects her choice not to.

In The Killer In Me, Riley (off-screen) gives Buffy the choice to do what she prefers with Spike. By this point Riley has realized Buffy cares for Spike and will never kill him. So, he goes one step further and gives her the chance to free him from the chip.

As you see, there is a progressive acceptance of Spike as important to Buffy. This is interesting symbolically because it shows that off-screen Riley might be maturing a little. He might never fully understand Spike (the id), but at least he now realizes it is there and it is important. In particular, by giving Buffy the chance to free Spike, he shows acceptance. Riley probably will never understand the shadow, but at least he accepts its existence. What is more, Riley is now a person able to make his own choices, rather than to blindly follow orders. Riley at the beginning of season 4 would have killed Spike in season 6 and would have never given Buffy the chance to take the chip out in season 7. Riley at the end of the series does because he knows things are more complex than what they might seem.

Precisely because of this growth, Riley shows in his last appearance on-screen to have make progress towards his true objective: understanding Buffy. As a matter of fact Riley's whole arc is built on his desire to "get who Buffy is". Well, in As You Were he shows he has gotten closer to the truth:

By the end of his story Riley finally gets that Buffy is "One hell of a woman". And that is definitely who Buffy is.

SPIKE: HEART

Spike is Buffy's final love interest and the one who helps her complete her arc, integrate her shadow and find herself. He gives her the answers to the questions Angel and Riley start and grows together with her up until the end. Their relationship permeates the whole series, especially season 4 onward. However, the two seasons where he officially becomes the love interest are season 6 and 7.

These two seasons explore the archetype of the heart from two complementary perspectives. Season 6 is the season of the id, whereas season 7 is the season of the self. Because of this, they are mirrors of each other.

In season 6 Buffy and Spike have to face everything they are repressing, including their worst selves. Specifically they show the other their darkest parts and hurt each other. Buffy is emotionally and physically abusive, whereas Spike is manipulative and by the end of the season assaults Buffy. After these less than ideal traits come out, the two are forced to address them and to overcome them.

In season 7 Buffy and Spike grow into complete people by integrating their shadows. They accept everything of the other and themselves. They also save each other. Buffy is there for Spike when he is out of his mind because of his new-found soul. Spike is there for Buffy when she loses everything. In the very last episode they re-affirm their feelings for each other and complete their growth.

I will add that season 6 and 7 complete the elemental motif started in season 4 (earth) and 5 (air).

Season 6 is associated to "water". Think about the episode "Flooded", which sets up the whole motif. Obviously it is not just Buffy's home to be flooded, but Buffy herself. She feels adrift and overwhelmed by everything around her. "Water" is present throughout the season whenever someone hits rock bottom. Willow is said to be "drowning" when describing her dependance on magic and she has a crisis while under the shower. Buffy thinks she killed a woman and Spike hides the corpse in the river. In Hell's Bells there is a storm and Xander walks around depressed and soaked. Spike attacks Buffy as she is preparing a bath. This happens because water is linked to the unconscious and to the loss of self into the id (Spike describes his identity crisis and obsession for Buffy in season 5 as "I am drowning in you"). Everyone goes through this process of loss of the self in season 6 and the water motif underlines it.

Season 7 is associated to "fire". To be precise this elemental motif is set up in season 6 and finds its resolution in season 7. In season 6 fire is symbolic of Buffy's desire to feel again, as she sings in the musical episode. Fittingly, it is also an element associated to Spike through his lighter. Season 6 ends by overcoming water and starting a fire, which will be developed in season 7. Willow tries to set the world on fire out of her strong feelings. This could be seen as negative, but the point is that by the end of the season both Willow and Buffy can finally start feeling again. Spike too gets his soul back in season 6 and he symbolically calls it "the spark" in season 7. In short, season 6 has the characters drown and ends with a hopeful spark. Season 7 takes this spark and turns it into a powerful fire. This is obvious in the very last episode, where Buffy ignites Spike's "spark" and Spike's soul saves everybody by destroying the hellmouth and Sunnydale with fire. At the same time Buffy is able to symbolically fully feel again when she touches Spike's hand and tells him she loves him. They both find their inner fire (self) by the end of season 7.

To top it off, the elemental symbolism of seasons 6 and 7 is intertwined with seasonal imagery. Season 6 is winter (Buffy sings that everything is frozen in the musical episode) that symbolically ends when spring comes (Buffy's "rebirth" is depicted as an awakening of nature and Willow was trying to summon Proserpina, the Goddess of Spring). Season 7 ends with summer arriving (Spike's final "School's out for bloody summer!"). Obviously "summer" is also symbolic of Buffy's self as it is her surname. By the end Buffy and everyone else finds who they are.

These opposite motifs describe the process of growth through the id towards the self. It is a painful journey where the characters have to integrate their darkest sides. Buffy and Spike do it through each other.

I am gonna share an unpopular opinion. I think Buffy and Spike's feelings have always gone toe to toe. By this I mean they developed feelings for each other at the same time. Wait, Spike fell first! Well, yes and no (again imo). I think the point is that Buffy and Spike fall in love with each other veeeeeeery slowly and season 4, 5, 6 and 7 explore different stages of this process. They both feel similar things, but react in opposite ways. To be precise:

Buffy negates her feelings altogether. She is physically attracted to Spike in season 4 and in season 5 this attraction grows (hence why she kisses Spike after he saves Dawn... sorry, but you do not randomly kiss someone because you are grateful). In season 6 she has obvious feelings for Spike, but she can't accept them and lashes out. Finally in season 7 these feelings grow into mature love.

Spike romanticizes his own feelings. Spike says he is in love with Buffy since season 5, but the truth is that by that point he is simply attracted to her. We see his emotions go from pure physical chemistry to affection (season 5) to passion (season 6) to love (season 7). So, Spike has not been in love with Buffy since season 5. He has discovered what love is by slowly falling for Buffy and developing more complex feelings for her.

In short, Buffy won't admit she has romantic feelings for Spike. Spike instead immediately calls love what is initially just strong attraction. Now, you don't need to agree with me, but the point is that this opposite reaction to their bond is important for two reasons:

Buffy's repression of her feelings and Spike's untamed emotions are at the root of their conflict.

It fits Buffy and Spike's respective archetypes. Buffy is the self, while Spike is the id. As a result, Buffy represses what Spike represents. Spike is instead completely controlled by his passions and thinks this is what makes him his own authentic self. However, they are both wrong. Buffy needs to accept her dark side, which is embodied by Spike. She needs an id. Spike needs to realize that to blindly follow his passion does not make him a whole person, but a monster. He needs a self.

Let's see how these two ideas are keys for season 6 and 7.

SEASON 6

Repression vs Obsession

Season 6 has both Buffy and Spike hit rock bottom the moment they hurt the other.

To Buffy it happens in Dead Things, where her spiral reaches a climax. The premise of the episode is that Buffy is tricked into thinking she killed a woman. She uses this as an excuse to self-destroy and plans to surrender herself to the police, so she does not have to deal with her life anymore. Spike tries to stop her and she lashes out at him in a way which is both emotionally and physically abusive:

She insists that Spike is not a person and keeps hitting him until he goes from his vampire face to his normal human face. This is symbolic of how she is lashing out at him with the excuse he is a monster. Except that then the monster disappears and she is left to face just a person.

To Spike it happens in Seeing Red, where he tries to SA Buffy. Now, I will not link nor comment the scene because I don't think there is not much to it, but the action itself. Again, BTVS does not deal well with sex or sexual violence. You can either like the series despite this or refuse it altogether. I am choosing to like it. So, the scene is not particularly well done (it is too long for no reason and the tone does not fit the series), but it's meant to show there are still within Spike monstrous traits he needs to shed:

He is left grappling with the fact he can neither go back to be a monster nor be truly a person. It is this realization, which kicks off the final part of his story.

Now, three considerations on these two moments.

1- They are when Buffy and Spike are put in the front of their worst selves. Symbolically they discover these dark parts of theirs when they hurt the other.

2- After these moments they both cut their relationship and decide to change. Buffy breaks up with Spike in As You Were. She does so both for herself and for him. In particular, their break-up scene is powerful because she makes clear she is breaking up because she sees him as a person and can't hurt him anymore. Spike leaves town in Seeing Red and in this way puts an end to their situation-ship, which was still ongoing, despite the break-up. In short, both choose to change because of and for the other. They can't stand to be a person that would hurt the other in such an awful way.

3- Even if the two situations are similar, Buffy and Spike's dark moments stem from opposite problems. Buffy can't accept her feelings for Spike, so she lashes out at him. Spike can't accept his feelings for Buffy are not "pure love", so he hurts her. In short, Buffy is put in front of her romantic feelings for Spike. Spike is instead put in front of his feelings for Buffy not being "love" yet.

Id and Self

Buffy needs to stop repressing her id, while Spike needs to stop being controlled by the id. Only in this way, they can both find their "selves". What does it mean for them specifically?

For Buffy, her relationship with Spike in season 6 is a mix of the ones with Angel and Riley. To be precise, it is a mix of all the problematic sides of her relationships with both her previous boyfriends. In short, Spike brings to the surface all the issues Buffy has refused to face in her love life.

Riley - Riley's relationship with Buffy is characterized by the idea Buffy is on some level "using" Riley. Xander even calls Buffy out on her seeing Riley as "convenient". Finally, Riley's cheating brings out a very violent side of Buffy that she channels towards the vampire prostitutes. Well, during their relationship in season 6 Buffy calls Spike "convenient" to his face and uses him for sex. Finally, she lets her frustrations out on him by using violence.

Angel - Angel's relationship with Buffy is characterized by an unresolved violence and darkness. Buffy is attracted to Angel, a vampire, but she justifies this attraction because Angel is a "good" vampire. In this way, she does not have to face her own contradictions and can be safe in a black and white world. Still, she can't use the same excuse with Spike. Spike is not a "good" vampire and does not have a soul. He is a vampire like many she has slayed. He has actually killed more than the average vampire. So, why is she attracted to him? What's wrong with her? And if Spike is a person, even without a soul, then were all the monsters she killed people too? In a sense, Spike brings all the contradictions Angel brought, but without the sugarcoating. There is no big destiny, no noble tormented vampire, no powerful curses or magic here. There is not an epic journey to redemption. There are just Buffy and Spike, two people attracted to each other, when they should not. And both are asked to go deeper into themselves and figure out why is that so.

In other words, Spike highlights flaws and contradictions that were always present in Buffy. However, he makes so Buffy can't ignore them anymore:

BUFFY: I didn't come back wrong? TARA: No, you're the same Buffy. With a deep tropical cellular tan. BUFFY: You must have missed something. Will you check again? TARA: Buffy, I-I promise, there's nothing wrong with you. BUFFY: There has to be! This just can't be me, it isn't me. Why do I feel like this? Why do I let Spike do those things to me? TARA: You mean hit you. Oh. Oh, huh. Really. BUFFY: He's everything I hate. He's everything that ... I'm supposed to be against. But the only time that I ever feel anything is when ... Don't tell anyone, please. TARA: I won't. BUFFY: The way they would look at me ... I just couldn't... TARA: I won't tell anyone. I wouldn't do that. BUFFY: Why can't I stop? Why do I keep letting him in? TARA: Do you love him? I-It's okay if you do. He's done a lot of good, and, and he does love you. A-and Buffy, it's okay if you don't. You're going through a really hard time, and you're... BUFFY: What? Using him? What's okay about that? TARA: It's not that simple. BUFFY: It is! It's wrong. I'm wrong. Tell me that I'm wrong, please... Please don't forgive me, please... (sobbing) Please don't... Please don't forgive me...

Buffy's breakdown in Dead Things highlights both sides of the problem. Buffy cries she should not have feelings for Spike because he is everything she is supposed to be against (Angel). At the same time, she is disgusted at the idea she might be using him (Riley).

For Spike, his relationship with Buffy in season 6 has him fail her like both Angel and Riley did.

Riley - Riley is unable to support Buffy at a very delicate time. If anything he makes the whole situation about himself, drowns in his own flaws and irrational self and finally leaves when he can't deal anymore. Spike does something similar. He frames himself as Buffy's savior, as the only one able to get her, but in the end he is unable to truly help her. He spirals together with her and can't deal with Buffy's complexity because he too, like Riley back then, lacks a part. Riley was not integrated with his id at all. Still, Spike lacks an ego (a soul). And he can't fully understand Buffy until he is incomplete.

Angel - Angel uses Buffy to cling to his humanity. Still, he fails to integrate his most monstrous side, which comes out and traumatizes Buffy. Well, Spike does the same. He too is drawn to Buffy because she can see humanity in him. Still, he faces to recognize his own monstrosity and fails to see he has not changed as much as he claims. The whole situation explodes as he attacks Buffy and is forced to deal with this side of himself. I don't think I need to elaborate further. After all, the bath scene and Seeing Red in general has several references to Angel and Buffy's relationship and to Angel in general.

So, Spike fails Buffy the same way Riley and Angel do. Even more in a sense. Still, he does something the other two don't do. He deals with his mistakes and chooses to change. This is why the scene where he chooses to live town references both Riley and Angel:

SPIKE: The girl needs some monster in her man... and that's not in your nature...no matter how low you try to go. (Into The Woods) SPIKE: We were never together. Not really. She wouldn't lower herself that far. (Seeing Red)

ANGEL: Things change. SPIKE: Not us! Not demons! (School Hard)

CLEM: Hey. Come on now, Mr. Negative. You never know what's just around the corner. Things change. SPIKE: They do. If you make them. (Seeing Red)

In Into The Woods, Spike claims Riley can't lower himself enough to be with Buffy. However, in Seeing Red, he says Buffy won't lower herself enough to be with him. He is starting to understand Buffy does not need a monster inside her man. Rather she needs a man inside a monster. This is why she is attracted to him and Angel. She is drawn by their humanity. A humanity which is so strong that can survive even monstrosity.

In School Hard, Spike claims vampires can't change and is unable to understand Angel's transformation. In Seeing Red, he finally understands that "things can change", but only if you put in the effort. Spike realizes he too can go through a metamorphosis and stop being a monster. Still, he needs to make an active choice. He needs to "make things change".

So, Spike ends season 6 leaving (like Riley), so that he can find a soul (like Angel). And yet, he promises to come back (differently from Riley) and goes to look for the piece he is missing (differently from Angel).

SEASON 7

In season 7 Buffy and Spike grow towards each other. On the one hand Buffy is able to accept her darkest side. In a sense, she stops hiding it from both herself and others. On the other hand Spike struggles to be human and realizes that to have a soul means to face a complexity he had forgotten. Similarly, Buffy is able to eventually affirm her feelings for Spike (I love you), while Spike is able to let go of his desire to be with Buffy to do the right thing (No, you don't). In short, both go through a perfect integration. Buffy is able to choose herself, while Spike is able to choose the world.

This is important because throughout the series Buffy and Spike have been respectively linked to the macrocosm and to the microcosm.

Buffy is the slayer, so she has ALWAYS to prioritize the world, no matter what

Spike is a fool for love, so he is ALWAYS motivated by his relationships; e.g. in season 2 he does not want to see the world destroyed, but he also does not care enough to fight Angel together with Buffy

Thanks to each other they are able to find a better balance. How does this happen? Well, if season 6 is about "the crime", then season 7 is about "redemption". As a matter of fact both Buffy and Spike start season 7 feeling strong guilt over the way they hurt the other:

BUFFY: The last guy I was with, it got really - I behaved like a monster, treated him like - But at the same time, I-I let him completely take me over.

SPIKE: Buffy, shame on you. Why does a man do what he mustn’t? For her. To be hers. To be the kind of man who would nev— To be a kind of man.

Notice that narratively they are more focused on the pain they themselves caused, rather than the one they received. Now, this might not be fully psychologically realistic. Still, that works thematically. The point is that they both recognize they have been hurt by the other, but also that they hurt the other. So, they choose to forgive and to find atonement. This happens through Buffy and Spike saving each other:

First Buffy saves Spike spiritually and physically

Then Spike saves Buffy spiritually and physically

Buffy saves Spike

In the first part of the season Buffy saves Spike. She helps him deal with his new soul, even if she does not really have to. Her friends wonder why and the answer is found in in the episode Never Leave Me, where Buffy and Spike share two meaningful conversations:

SPIKE Meaning I have come to redefine the words pain and suffering since I fell in love with you. BUFFY How can you say that? SPIKE Apparently, I just slaughtered half of Sunnydale, pet. I'm not really worried about being polite anymore. BUFFY So, that's what this is about. You feeling sorry for yourself, Spike? SPIKE I'm feeling honest with myself. You used me. BUFFY Yes. SPIKE You told me that, of course. I never understood it though. Not until now. You hated yourself, and you took it out on me. BUFFY You figured that out just now? SPIKE Soul's not all about moonbeams and pennywhistles, luv. It's about self-loathing. I get it. Had to travel 'round the world, but I understand you now. I understand the violence inside. BUFFY Violence? William the Bloody now has insight into violence? SPIKE Not the same. As bad as I was, as evil and as wretched as I was, I never truly hated myself back then. Not like I do now.

SPIKE Have you ever really asked yourself why you can't do it? Off me? After everything I've done to you, to people around you. It's not love. We both know that. BUFFY You fought by my side. You've saved lives. You've helped— SPIKE Don't do that. Don't rationalize this into some noble act. We both know the truth of it. You like men who hurt you. BUFFY No. SPIKE You need the pain we cause you. You need the hate. You need it to do your job, to be the slayer. BUFFY No. I don't hate like that. Not you, or myself. Not anymore. You think you have insight now because your soul's drenched in blood? You don't know me. You don't even know you. Was that you who killed those people in the cellar? Was that you who waited for those girls? SPIKE There's no one else. BUFFY That's not true. Listen to me. You're not alive because of hate or pain. You're alive because I saw you change. Because I saw your penance. SPIKE Window dressing. BUFFY Be easier, wouldn't it, it if were an act, but it's not. You faced the monster inside of you and you fought back. You risked everything to be a better man. SPIKE Buffy... BUFFY And you can be. You are. You may not see it, but I do. I do. I believe in you, Spike.

These two scenes are complementary to the point that can be seen as basically one scene cut in two. In the first part Spike challenges Buffy and in the second part Buffy gives an answer to Spike's provocation. Overall the conversation is beautiful on multiple levels.

First of all, it shows how even after everything, Spike is still trying to get Buffy. Not only that, but now he has the potential to succeed because he has a soul (an ego). As stated many times in this essay, the soul is someone's sense of self. This is why now Spike is able to understand "the violence inside". This is why now he is able to hate himself. You can't really have strong feelings towards yourself if you... lack a self.

Secondly, it lets Buffy face her darkest self in Spike in a way that is not destructive, but healing. Here, Spike is basically bringing out everything Buffy despises about herself and her previous relationships. She used Spike, she is attracted to Spike because she needs hate to nurture her inner violence and fulfill her mission... she is twisted and wrong! Just like Spike himself is twisted and wrong. And yet, Buffy refuses this narrative. Yes, she is not protective of Spike because he fought by her side and helped people. She is choosing to save him neither "out of love" nor "out of hate". She wants him to live because he gives her hope. If Spike can change and heal and be saved, then so can she. In the end, she does not need a monster inside her man. She needs a man inside a monster. That's because Buffy knows there is a monster inside her too and she wants proof that she can survive her demon. Just like Spike survived his.

Buffy chooses to forgive Spike because she wants to forgive herself. Buffy chooses to save Spike because she wants to save herself. By this point she has started healing, but is still not strong enough to fully love herself. Just like she can't fully love Spike. Still, she wants to. She wants to accept herself fully, which she can only do if she accepts Spike fully.

Buffy's words here are key for Spike too. It is thanks to them that he is able to withstand the First's torture and temptation. As a matter of fact the First's kidnapping of Spike is a narrative challenge. In general, the First represents the evil within. This is why he has such a strong hold on Spike initially. The vampire is a person who has to deal with all his sins and wishes he could just forget them on some level. This removal and escape from the self gives the First free reign to control Spike. However, Spike is able to discover this unconscious dark side thanks to Buffy. She calls him out on it, so that he becomes conscious of it. Later on, he is able to stop himself from hurting her while they are in the basement. This is why the First kidnaps Spike and tries to convince him to willingly switch sides. They want Spike to give up on himself. And yet, they fail because Spike believes in Buffy and Buffy believes in him. So, he is able to resist and to cling to the idea that Buffy is coming for him. And she does and saves him physically too. After this moment, Spike's healing can finally start.

(By the way this is why the First's control on Spike is not exploited much after this; thematically Spike had already shown his ability to resist the First's brainwashing to an extent. Sure, the First could still manipulate him through the trigger, but they choose not to use him to hurt Buffy or her friends because... they tried it and failed already. They instead opt to use Spike to manipulate Buffy's loved ones against her. In short, ironically in the second part of the season Giles, Wood, Dawn and really everyone else are the ones being manipulated by the First; Spike is instead the only one able to counter this manipulation because he has been fighting it all along)

Spike saves Buffy

In the second part of the season Spike saves Buffy. Throughout season 7 Buffy's loved ones grow more and more uncomfortable toward her. Why? Because Buffy is finally showing them sides of herself she has been repressing. Like her genuine feelings for Spike, like her coldness, like her deep trauma that might not make her a party animal. Everyone else gets progressively unnerved by these traits and eventually they all turn on her. The only one who does not is Spike, who accepts everything of Buffy. He accepts her rough edges, keeps having faith in her ability and intuition even if she makes mistakes. He is the person who finds her in Touched, after everyone threw her out of her own house. And there he delivers a powerful speech, which sums their relationship up:

This speech is important because it is both an inversion of Angel's one at the end of season 2 and a deeper version of Riley's one in season 6.

In season 2, Angel tells Buffy she is nothing without her mission and her bonds "No weapons, no friends. No hope. Take all that away and what's left?". Well, in Touched, Buffy has been "fired", she has no-one left and no hope. And yet, Spike tells her she is still herself. She is still one hell of a woman. She is still "the one".

In season 6, Riley tells Buffy that whatever she is going through, it does not touch all her positive traits. She is still a hell of a woman. This is very similar to what Spike says, but the vampire goes deeper.

RILEY: Buffy, none of that means anything. It doesn't touch you. You're still the first woman I ever loved ... and the strongest woman I've ever known. And I'm not advertising this to the missus ... but you're still quite the hottie. (...) It doesn't change what you are. And you are a hell of a woman.

Riley lists a series of positive traits that are mostly physical. Buffy is hot and physically strong (tbf he might have meant also strong psychologically, but I hope Riley loves his wife enough not to tell another woman she is stronger psychologically; It would be too sad). Moreover, he builds Buffy up through his own feelings for her ("you're still the first woman I ever loved).

Spike instead lists a series of traits that encompass ALL of Buffy.

Spike: I love what you are, what you do, how you try. I’ve seen your kindness and your strength. I’ve seen the best and the worst of you and I understand with perfect clarity exactly what you are. You are a hell of a woman.

Spike has seen Buffy at her best and at her worst. He admires both her strength (masculine, the slayer) and kindness (feminine, the normal girl). He knows her in all her complexity and still thinks she is a hell of a woman. Moreover, he affirms Buffy has value outside of his love for her:

Spike: Hey, look at me. I’m not asking you for anything. When I say I love you, it’s not because I want you, or because I can’t have you. It has nothing to do with me.

Basically, Spike negates Angel's speech and evolves Riley's. By doing so he is able to help Buffy heal from the damage Angel made. At the same time, she is able to better succeed where Riley failed (to understand who Buffy is). After seasons of Buffy being convinced nobody can get her because she is too complicated, too twisted, too much... Spike comes in and tells her he does get her. She has touched him and he has touched her. And this is what a relationship is all about. And it is possible and it is true.

This is a very important moment for Spike too. Spike spends the first part of the series wishing to kill Buffy. In Fool For Love he tells her the best night of his life is the one where he killed his first slayer. He tells her one day she will lose all the bonds grounding her and that he will be there to cut her last link. The one to her life. Well, in Touched Buffy is very vulnerable and lonely and Spike is there. Still, instead of cutting the last tie, he becomes the key connection that links her back to life, to herself and to her friends. Later on, in End Of Days Spike admits Buffy the night where he saved her has become in fact the greatest night of his life. Spike is a character that is initially "death" and by the end becomes "life". This is his development in a nutshell.

After this moment Buffy and Spike face together the final fight. There Buffy trusts Spike with the amulet and calls him her champion. Spike is able to prove once and for all his humanity by igniting his soul and saving everyone. In particular, he saves Buffy physically as he destroys her personal hell (Sunnydale) and frees her. From now on Buffy can go wherever she wants and is not stuck in hell anymore.

BUFFY AND SPIKE BECOME PEOPLE

In season 7 Buffy and Spike complete their development and become full-fledged individuals. Their arcs are commented and described thanks to Freudian and Jungian archetypes.

Spike integrates all the three Freudian parts of the self:

GILES I told you my concerns when you recklessly chose to remove the chip from his head. ROBIN Wait, sorry, chip? GILES Uh, it's a long story. BUFFY The military put a chip in Spike's head so he couldn't hurt anyone. GILES And that would be the abridged version. BUFFY But he wouldn't hurt anyone anymore because he has a soul now. GILES Unless the First triggers him again. ROBIN Triggers the chip? BUFFY No, the trigger's a post-hypnotic thing. The First put it in his head. It was - made him - He was killing again. ROBIN So, he has a trigger, a soul, and a chip?

This conversation is comical, but it is also meaningful as the trigger, the soul and the chip are the three parts of Spike's self: the trigger is the id, the soul is the ego and the chip is the superego.

Spike was re-educated thanks to the superego (the chip), then found his ego again (the soul) and to complete his growth he needs to fully integrate his id (the trigger). This is why it is important that in Get It Done Spike finds his fighting spirit again. That instinctual and even violent side of his is a part of him. Not only that, but it is a powerful part, which is needed by both him and others. The important is that he does not let it completely take over. Finally, Spike needs to face something he has been suppressing all along, the deepest part of his id: the murder of his mother (very very Freufdian :P). Once he is able to remember and come to terms with that moment, Spike is free from the First and completely in control. He has become an adult. He has grown into a developed person. He is fully human.

Buffy integrates her Jungian shadow thanks to her relationship with Spike. Throughout season 7 we see how everyone criticizes Buffy and Spike's bond. Xander and Dawn are weirded out by it because of what happened in season 6. Robin projects his own issues on it. Anya indirectly points out Buffy's hypocrisy as she is ready to kill her if he kills, but would give Spike special treatment for doing the same. Giles thinks Buffy is being irrational and childish. The potentials see it as a sign of Buffy's selfishness. Now, rationally all these are good points. Spike has hurt Buffy, has killed and on paper he is still dangerous. A perfect person/slayer/leader should dispose of him asap. Still, here's the point. Buffy is not a perfect person. She is herself and is flawed and Spike is important not for the mission nor the greater good, but for her.

He represents all the complicated and contradictory parts that have been fighting within Buffy all along. He is all the traits Buffy has been concealing out of fear of being rejected. It is just that by season 7 she does not give a fuck anymore. Spike is a part of who she is and he is gonna stay no matter what. He is a selfish choice, but it is a selfish choice Buffy needs. Her loved ones not realizing this speaks of their dehumanization of Buffy. Oh no! Buffy is not killing a person she loves! How dares she!

Not only that, but the Scoobies's refusal of Spike is not just about his bond with Buffy. In general, none of them is impressed by Spike's act of getting a soul. Now, this in itself should be impressive because it speaks of Spike's determination. And yet, nobody seems to give it that much importance. Why? It is because deep down none of the Scoobies has any faith in Spike's humanity. The indirect implication is that Spike's soul can't amount to much. After all, it is just Spike's. What value can there be in the soul of a monster?

This is why it is so important thematically that Spike is the reason they win. The bond all the "good guys" considered stupid, irrational and dangerous is the one who saves Buffy and indirectly saves them all. If Spike had not helped Buffy in Touched, all the potentials would have died and the Scoobies would have failed their mission. It is this one personal, irrational and selfish choice Buffy does that saves them all. Even if it should not be this way on paper, this is how things end up working out. Similarly, by the end it is Spike's soul who defeats the First. It is that soul Spike fought teeth and nail for and that nobody gave a damn about. It is Spike's redemption that defeats the First Evil. After all, what is more powerful against evil than a person who has faced it and overcome it?

So, by the end Buffy is proven right. She is rewarded for trusting and loving that part of herself everybody told her she should have discarded. She is rewarded for having faith in one twisted and tormented soul. She is rewarded for believing that humanity can overcome monstrosity and that even a vampire can find redemption.

BUFFY AND LOVE = LIFE AND DEATH

First slayer: You're afraid that being the Slayer means losing your humanity. Buffy: Does it? First slayer: You are full of love. You love with all of your soul. It's brighter than the fire... blinding. That's why you pull away from it. Buffy: I'm full of love? I'm not losing it? First slayer: Only if you reject it. Love is pain, and the Slayer forges strength from pain. Love... give... forgive. Risk the pain. It is your nature. Love will bring you to your gift. Buffy: What? I-I'm sorry, I, I'm just a little confused. I'm full of love, which is nice, and ... love will lead me to my gift? First slayer: Yes. Buffy: I'm getting a gift? Or, or do you mean that, that I have a gift to give to someone else? First slayer: Death is your gift. Buffy: Death ... First slayer: Is your gift. Buffy: Okay, no. Death is not a gift. My mother just died. I know this. If I have to kill demons because it makes the world a better place, then I kill demons, but it's not a gift to anybody.

Interesting how "full of love" sounds similar to "fool for love", right? That is because Buffy (together with her Jungian Shadow Spike) is full of it, but also struggles to understand it. She is defined by love and yet, what is love? Is love truly linked to death? Well, no.

In the scene above the First Slayer mixes right things with wrong things.

On the one hand it is true Buffy is "full of love", that her love is "like fire" (again hello elemental motif) and that Buffy runs from it out of the fear of getting hurt.

On the other hand it is not true that the only possible resolution for Buffy's love is to die. The First Slayer represents after all a flawed system that Buffy overcomes by the end of the series.