Erreki

Like, so often in games (especially Bioware games) you get asked to make these world-shattering decisions. Your characters go on these quests to stop a great evil, to battle gods, to bring order, or sow chaos, and at the end you’re left with the power to utterly change the world. And that’s not really a power that should ever rest with just one person, but in these narratives, it so often does.

And afterwards, I usually find myself wondering about all the worst case scenarios. Sometimes I get a bad ending and it’s just like ‘well I guess I’ll start over and try again…?’ But even when it’s a good ending, all too often it’s ambiguous enough that it still seems like a lot could go wrong further down the road.

To me, this is Solas. This is what happened to Solas. He is one of those video game protagonists. He got to the end of the adventure and he had to decide to separate Magic from Reality in order to seal the gods away, and he had no real idea what would happen afterwards except that the gods wouldn’t be able to destroy the world. I’ve freaking done that. Anyone who has played Final Fantasy VI has done that.

And then he woke up in motherfucking Thedas aka Apocalypse Tuesday and found out that everything was a disaster.

At which point his first thought was ‘okay, I’ll start over and try again’ because the world was approximately as real to him as a video game, so why the heck wouldn’t that be his first impulse?

But then - then he screwed himself over. Then he went on an adventure in Thedas. Then he made friends. Now he can’t start a New Game Plus and try for a different ending without erasing all of that. The man is fucking boned. It’s like all the things I ever worried about for my Charnames and Knight Captains and Revans and Exiles and Shepards and Wardens and Nerevarines and Dragonborns all comes crashing down around Solas, this poor sap who was just trying to save his stupid people from their own stupid selves.

I have just… I have walked too many miles in those shoes, at the mercy of a game writer’s narrative whims, to not feel for him. To not want to help save him from this goddamn mess. Every choice-based RPG I have ever played has trained me to empathize with Solas.

And I just wish my Inquisitor could take him by the shoulders and look him in the eye and go:

Mage

Solas: You train your will to control magic and withstand possession. Your indomitable focus is an enjoyable side benefit.

Lavellan: Indomitable focus?

Solas: Presumably. I have yet to see it dominated. I imagine that the sight would be… Fascinating.

Rogue

Solas: You train to flick a dagger or an arrow to its target. The grace with which you move is a pleasing side benefit.

Lavellan: So you’re suggesting I’m graceful?

Solas: No. I am declaring it. It was not a subject for debate.

Warrior

Solas: You strengthen your body to deliver and withstand punishment. The muscles are an enjoyable side benefit.

Lavellan: You find the muscles enjoyable?

Solas: I meant that you enjoyed having them, presumably.

Lavellan: Oh.

“happy birthday” every time i hand them something

“well, that’s not ideal” whenever something is going wrong

“we are in the timeline that god abandoned” whenever i’m mildly inconvenienced

“can’t you see that your fighting is tearing this family apart?” whenever two or more coworkers are arguing

referring to taking medication as “eating medicine”

“time to go back to prison!” when putting animals back in their cages

referring to inanimate objects as (s)he, particularly when i break something and say “oh no, he’s dead.” this concerns them especially when i follow it up with “that’s not ideal”

You extend your hand. “I noticed you’re new here. What’s your name?”

Clark’s introducing her around.  “This is my good friend, Diana, she’s in from out of town.”

Happy 15th Anniversary to Treasure Planet.

Added some Inquisition doggos now that I’ve finished the game. 

-saying someone immidiately dies when they flub a survival check

-when one person is in on the horribleness/weirdness the dm is doing and they’re laughing while everyone is freaking out

-improvised weapons

-begging the dm to let you use a skill beside the one they just told you to roll

-everyone rolling low on perception and hearing the dm say “okay, never mind”

-deliberately terrible character voices

-running jokes that spring up within a group

-watching someone make an idiot of theirself in front of an important npc

-the evil dm laugh