ways to dispel gay rumors, according to louis tomlinson and harry styles:
1. write a love song, and include the place where you and your enemy lived together.
2. constantly walk away from your at the time girlfriend of nine years.
3. struggle to hold hands with and kiss your at the time girlfriend of several years.
4. repeatedly say ‘no’ when asked if you and your girlfriend are engaged.
5. but do say, ‘it’s confidential, but we’re already engaged,’ when asked when you are gonna propose to your best mate.
6. say you have a crush on your best mate, and that you’ve discussed it and say that it’s mutual.
7. when asked if the rumor is true, smile fondly and say yes.
8. when your best mate is talking about finding someone they would want to date, cough really obviously and loudly.
9. choose to play a song on your tour, where the first word has major involvement with the rumor.
10. when asked about the rumor, turn into a horse.
11. deny the rumor while emphasizing the word ‘obviously’ and MAKE SURE to be very sarcastic.
12. dress up rainbow bears on stage that represent gay artists.
13. dress up said rainbow bears in wedding outfits on stage with a picture positioned in front of it of a man named larry, while signing the photo with the words “love, larry.”
14. when you see something involving the rumor, give it a thumbs up!
15. get matching tattoos.
16. go to amsterdam with your wonderful girlfriend at the time, then come back and write a song where the first line is, “i went to amsterdam without you,”
17. having to adjust your pants because your best mate’s shirt popped open.
18. when your “mate” asks to give you a blowjob, respond with “i’d love it, if you’d just wait.”
19. when asked about your favorite traits in a female, say “not that important” about the person being a female.
20. look depressed whenever someone mentions your child.
21. cover a song where the main objective of the song is to be the girl just so you could be with the guy.
22. get a tattoo that you know people will link to the person involving the rumor.
23. dress up as queer idols for halloween.
25. bring your girlfriends to gay bars.
26. cook a meal for your girlfriend even though you didn’t even know her when you cooked it, and she was vegan at that time.
27. make a dopey fonding face while you’re staring at your best mate.
28. sexually tease each other on stage.
29. while your best mate is hyping himself up and says while referring to himself, “that’s just sex on legs,” agree and say, “yeah it is,” while giving him love eyes.
30. at your solo concert, point to a replica of the rainbow bear in the crowd that you and your best mate dressed up on stage.
31. change the lyrics of your song from “i love it” to “i love him.”
32. you must wear a vintage umbro t shirt that is very rare, and make sure to have your best mate show up wearing the same vintage rare umbro shirt just a few months later.
33. go completely MIA while your best mate has his off season, and pop back up in public when he goes back on tour.
34. host your own festival and have an artist with a song named “you’re not harry styles” perform during it.
35. consistently use colored lights that are heavily associated with the rumor during your concerts.
36. use art of your “totally platonic” friend’s tattoo for the spotify background of one of your songs.
37. do a photoshoot with clothes from a gay clothing brand that dates back to the fifties.
38. go to the same euros game and make sure to be seen in the same room together.
39. bite your best mate’s back after you deny the gay rumors.
40. look at your best mate and sing “i’m in love with lou, and all his little things” in a totally normal and platonic way.
41. like a reel about how your best mate looks at you with heart eyes RIGHT AFTER you are both publicly at the same festival.
tangentwithtanner
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