punk pillow princess

And the pain that used to keep you up at night and kept your pillow soaked either tears

Won’t even cross your mind

And then it will hit you that you can’t remember the last time you felt a pain so intense in your heart that you thought you couldn’t possibly survive or get through it

It will hit you that you’re made it through the worst days of your life

And you’re still here

You survived

Life didn’t end

✮ I need you to stay without me having to ask

✮ I'm not actually fine and haven't been for longer than I've admitted  

✮ I'm afraid that if you really knew me you would leave

✮ I don't know who I am outside of what I do for other people

✮ I miss who I was before everything that made me who I am

✮ I'm lonely in a way that having people around doesn't fix

✮ I think about that moment more than I will ever tell you

✮ I'm proud of myself and I don't know how to hold that without someone giving me permission

✮ I chose you specifically and I need you to know that even though I'll never say it

✮ I'm angrier than I look and have been for years

✮ I forgave you a long time ago and kept the grudge because the grudge felt safer

✮ I want to be taken care of just once without having to orchestrate it myself

✮ I don't know how to let this go and I'm not sure I want to

✮ That thing you said changed the direction of my life and you have no idea

✮ I stayed because of you specifically and I'll never tell you because of what it would mean

✮ I'm scared that this is as good as I'm capable of becoming

✮ I love you in a way I don't have the right category for

✮ I needed you to fight for me and you didn't and I'm still not over it

✮ I'm grieving something I never had and I don't know how to explain that to anyone

📸| Harry before the last show at Wembley!! 04/07