So I imagine that as SQH increases in value to MBJ, MBJ just like starts leaving robes and what not in the An Ding colors. SQH is like yay, free shit, like any good millennial. QQQ is peeved because SQH is like saying not to increases in clothing budgets or whatever and decides she’s going to audit the books. She looks everywhere but SQH hasn’t spent money on clothes in years.
She’s like is he taking bribes and investigates that but while she finds shady dealings, none are associated with SQH. QQQ is going slowly insane, because she cannot unravel the mystery and all SQQ will do is flutter his fan and mic drop “sugar daddy”.
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i think we need more fics of shen yuan dubconning binghe but its p difficult with how enthusiastically consenting binghe is 😔
There are hundreds of fanfics of shen yuan forcing himself onto his innocent young disciple but unfortunately they're not on ao3 because they're all written by binghe himself and there's no internet in ancient China
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thinking about yqy and sj and og sqh. i'm not advocating that they all get along but can you imagine what it must have been like talking to yqy when these two are also right next to him. gee yqy how come you get two evil advisors. most kings only got one vizier going "my lord shall i suggest we kill him".
no wonder og sqh betrayed him. it's a normal occupational hazard. that's just what happens when you have two evil advisors.
#honestly very fond of how cang qiong has villain leadership formatting#makes sense! they are binghe's antagonists in pidw!#it's just funny to think about because it becomes sy's main social circle after he transmigrates#our leader the mysterious powerful enabler of crimes#evil advisor no.1 imperious scumbag edition#evil advisor no.2 sniveling rat man edition#sinister lady in purple#battle obsessed blood knight#mad scientist physician#etc etc etc - via @sunderwight
An au that has been brewing in my mind for a while now that I finally got to illustrate!! Both scum villain and witch hat have such interesting world building that if you combine them together there are. So many possibilities. This is also just an excuse for me to mash two of my biggest interests rn into one lol
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Painfully sad to see stuff with Yue Qingyuan as willfully refusing or even purposefully lying to Shen Jiu about why he didn't return, thus having the entire miscommunication be his fault alone and that he's aware on some level that he's misleading SJ, which bums me out. Mainly cause I don't think it lets him work as well in the bigger picture of Bingqiu, especially in regards to Shen Yuan's own growth.
Daily dose of unhinged rambling beneath.
For one thing... he does admit (almost) immediately to what Shen Jiu had already been working up towards in his own mind and tone, and that they both believe increasingly to be "true" and to some degree is: that Yue Qi's choices left Shen Jiu in the hands of a sadist for years.
(blue for emphasis on YQY's reactions, green for SJ's)
Always gonna wonder what was Yue Qingyuan going to say before Shen Jiu "opened fire". That he was happy to see him? That he'd really tried to save him, only to find a burned down manor, maybe something that would have led to an actual admission of Xuan Su's whole deal? Maybe! We'll never know. :'] weheheh~
But unfortunately for everyone, Shen Jiu's in defense mode. To shield his feelings, he'd already decided that Yue Qi is gone -- and SJ's first reaction to people who aren't Qi-ge is pro-active hostility in order to keep himself safe, an instinct has been turned up to eleven thanks to Qiu Jianluo.
SJ does deserve an answer of course -- but I also think the conversation is set up in this sequence in order to have YQY to "realize" (big air quotes here) that no matter how he explains it, he's not going to be forgiven. So he says the raw truth: Qi-ge let you down.
From there, SJ doesn't want to hear any more apologies because to him they're just guilty words with no substance. But what YQY seems to take away from it is that his apology has been rejected. For him to try and further explain himself would be, in his own eyes and in his view of the angry boy before him, guilt-tripping excuses.
I think in the same moment that SJ was "realizing" that he is poisonous scum, YQY is "realizing" that he is an unreliable failure.
What really gets me is how in his vol 3 confession, there's an implication that he maybe did try to explain himself later on -- and then got rebuffed by SJ in some fashion? It wasn't like SJ interrupted him the first time, he definitely did wait for YQY's response. So what else could "let me finish speaking" mean...
So now he's not just explaining himself but begging Shen Qingqiu to listen. It's not a case of him just refusing to give an explanation or leaving SJ waiting for one, but also believing that he won't be heard even if he does.
Which, if some previous things he says are anything to go off of, probably had some hefty weight of evidence in his mind. 🙃
The fact that he confesses to SY because otherwise "it'll be too late" implies to me at least that he did really want SJ to know what happened to him, maybe that he even did attempt it in the years in-between, but either wasn't given the chance or didn't do it in such a way that SJ would let him finish? But now YQY thinks he's dying, so he has to seize the chance to speak up.
But the readers and Shen Yuan know it's already too late.
That's why it becomes so obvious to Shen Yuan in that moment that the truths he'd believed have led him into the exact same situation, and that he has to turn back now lest he suffer the same fate as qijiu.
If Luo Binghe's foil is his original abuser, Shen Jiu, with both of them working off of assumptions tainted by self-esteem issues and fears of abandonment...
...Then Shen Yuan's foil has to be Yue Qingyuan, where both of them fully believe that they can't and won't be forgiven for the harm they've done to someone they promised to care for, and that anything they say will only make the situation worse.
It takes becoming the outsider to someone else's perspective for Shen Yuan to realize that he has to put a stop to it.
Wait sorry but I also can't believe I forgot the cave scene so I'm tacking it on:
Really interesting how Yue Qingyuan definitively states that he's been here before, just not why. Did he intentionally say it, with an impulsive urge to have that deeper conversation? Or maybe it just slipped out?
Either way, Shen Jiu doesn't take the narrative bait, reacts predictably snappy given that he was about to qi deviate a few seconds ago, and YQY drops the topic in favor of keeping him calm. One of those moments that make you wanna pull at your hair, aaaaaaa-- It's almost the perfect intro to talking about The Everything. But just like every time before it, YQY's words/behavior hints, SJ snaps, and YQY retreats without defense or explanation. Aaa...
(Side note: it's mentioned way later in the chapter that "Yue Qingyuan wasn't the type to sigh much, but Shen Qingqiu was inevitably capable of wearing him to the bone". So I personally read this as him already emotionally exhausted even though they just started talking. Presumably because of where they are.)
But then you get to SJ commenting on the blood-stained cave around them, and then:
This was, imo, probably the closest they ever got to anything about why YQY didn't come back getting revealed. And I wonder if that tiny convo about YQY being annoying hints was included purposefully to hint at why it didn't happen.
The particular part of the chapter makes great pains to point out that YQY didn't get to see SJ very often as disciples, and that when he did he "chattered nonstop", and that other disciples were watching in apparent surprise/amusement at seeing him act like this. So we get told that YQY was actively seeking out SJ, even when he knows he's being rebuffed. He wants to talk to him about everything going on, something that a YQY who is purposefully lying to him probably wouldn't do imo.
So why the flip to sudden "Oh" from YQY. Besides the obvious Ling Xi Caves PTSD going on. 🙃
I get the feeling that MXTX added the previous mentions and then outright discussion of YQY annoying SJ to lay out the irony in how SJ reacts. A lot of SJ's character arc sets up how he's very much the guy who can't help but press on his own bruises and then get mad that it hurts -- and I think this is another example of it.
The chapter starts with descriptions of YQY talking to SJ as much as possible, then the "I don't care if you've been here before" convo followed by "I find it annoying when you talk to me", before it ends with YQY ending the scene in silence.
Maybe on a good day like a tournament, YQY can handle getting shot down because hey at least SJ is talking to him, right? But here, with SJ describing essentially exactly what happened to him, is setting off an intense trauma response in YQY, sooo I think he just does what he did when he first mentioned the caves: he pulls back and says nothing rather than defend or explain himself.
And the craziest part of all, is that Shen Jiu knows something's wrong too! If we're supposed to wonder why Yue Qingyuan won't talk, then we've gotta also wonder why Shen Jiu doesn't press further? He didn't want to sit in the silence before, he was perfectly willing to keep talking just to fill the silence. He is smart, so I really wish I knew exactly what conclusions he was drawing from YQY's sudden quiet reactions to what he'd been describing, YQY mentions of being in the caves before, and the noticable tremors.
Maybe Shen Jiu doesn't ask because some part of him doesn't want to hear the answer, echoing back on YQY's confession where he begs Shen Yuan!SQQ to listen to him and let him finish.
In this case though, it's not out of anger (though I bet YQY probably assumes as such) but because he doesn't want to consider the horrible implications of what's in front of him.
#i was rereading that scene the other day and it drove me a little crazy tbh #SJ just allowing YQY to enter this cave with him and stay with him and TOUCH HIM? #this truly would've been such a perfect setup for a full confession. and yet
#another aspect of YQY chatter vs silence #is his shame #which many people build on in fic to end up with the “YQY doesn't want to tell SJ the truth” trope #it's also why that trope works so well - it doesn't contradict canon #it just doesn't reflect ALL of canon #i think that in canon YQY very much repeatedly attempted to tell SJ that he tried to come #that he was too late #but i also think he's terribly ashamed of xuan su specifically #like... his failure would've been “more justified” if he'd just been imprisoned in the sect - forbidden and unable to leave#but the reason he was imprisoned in the first place#is that he OVERREACHED. he went for the MOST sword. he MISJUDGED. #(which. yeah. he was a desperate teenager + presumably under immense pressure to perform due to being a generational talent)
#so like he tells shen jiu: IT IS QI GE WHO FAILED YOU.#IT'S MY FAULT. i was too late because of MY mistake. MY foolishness #so i think YQY combines an extreme desire to explain himself to SJ with an extreme reluctance to talk about xuan su #except explaining himself to SJ without mentioning xuan su is pretty damn difficult#and here. in this scene #where he'd have to explain xuan su FIRST #before he could follow up with “...and that is why i was too late to rescue you”#he cannot speak. he just can't.#oh yqy
DOES THE WILL SMITH POSE AT @parkersgeorg
Agreed, his shame 100% is a major roadblock, whether or not YQY ever tried to tell SJ the truth in canon. Not just for everything you said, but also how when he tells Shen Yuan, SY is deeply shocked at him cultivating "such an unnatural path". And this is a guy from the modern world -- so I can only imagine that the reactions would be from PIDW natives who are fully bought into the reality of what is and is not righteous cultivation. A lot of fics play into the "YQY had to keep this secret under pressure from his shizun and/or other peak lords to varying degrees of threats" and honestly I'd believe it.
So it's like. Not only does YQY believe that he failed SJ, he also believes that he did it in a spectacularly heretical fashion counter to the fantasy of peerless immortals that Qi-ge and Xiao-Jiu dreamed of becoming as kids.
It all adds up so nicely into the package of YQY being impulsive versus holding himself back. It really paints an interesting picture of a guy who's seesawing hard between Yue Qi's instincts to do something, to say something, to try anything VS Yue Qingyuan's painful lessons to pull away and say nothing, even when it only contributes to the way he hurts himself, how SJ hurts him knowingly or not, and how SJ also hurts himself (and then by the time LBH shows up, hurting other people too).
