ur doing amazing sweetie

that “oooo” when someone got In Trouble in elementary school… that was a greek chorus

idiot jail for ignorant beasts

What’s up with the fairly recent trend of leap years all being bad fucking years like 2008? Shit. 2012? Fucking shit. 2016? Absolute fucking shit. I’m just gonna predict 2020 is gonna be the Most Absolute Stinky Piece of Shit year to date

Date of Origin: July 3, 2018

you ever have a class with a student in it that thinks they’re the protagonist of the course. they act like they’re the main character of MATH 251

Two bite brownies?? Don’t tell me how many bites to take per brownie, Trader Joe’s, okay for me, they’re zero bite brownies. I suck those things down like a BURMESE PYTHON

Big meaty thighs>>>

When someone asks you where you see yourself in 5 years and you’re like buddy .. im just trying to make it to Friday

imagine being someones dream girl . i almost blacked out thinking abt it

which celebrity’s chaotic energy do you match?

*new yorker voice* ey! im spiralling here!

*new yorker voice* im fallin apart! badabing badaboom!

going for long walks alone is probably the closest thing we have to a cure for the human condition