them there cucumbers pardner @heckn-cucumbers-man - Tumblr Blog

littlee-akumaa-deactivated20221

some people are afraid to be corny. not me. i live life on the cob, baby.

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capacity2

You’ll be sitting on my apparatus

the-punforgiven

segamascott

orbitalyear-deactivated20230513

old gods are waking

dragon-in-a-fez

idea:

day-time-dream

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ashenmind

“Living weapon” covers a lot and all of it is hot

ashenmind

dying-crying-pining

“stabbing crying killing hot” has a fantastic ring to it

lakevida

it doesnt make sense that a penis would get bigger if yoiu jerk it off youre literally compressing it. go crumple a can rn and tell me its bigger im not buying this narrative

pinene

Okay So .. This is What Casual Misandry Looks Like Everybody

lakevida

im trying to go pro if anyone has any tips

lickingandsuckingchristmascoins

thai-gl-polls

Pick one:

I'm Friendly 🙂

Do Not Pet 🤚

I'm Nervous 😵‍💫

Margaritaville 🍹

Remaining time: 6 days 10 hours

srsfunny

Finally, a win

saintofpride201

This dumbass stigma that "hick" states are somehow dumber than the more urban ones because they're from poorer areas has to cease...

animenutcase

Hicks are the ones who put us in space.

delicatefury

You know what they changed? What Alabama is doing so different from California and New York?

They’re teaching the kids phonics.

It is legally required.

Turns out, actually learning to read improves students’ skills across the board. Who woulda guessed?

quietwingsinthesky

like the betrayal’s always going to be worse if they cared about you and it didn’t matter. someone discards you because they didn’t give a shit, then you can be angry about that, you can feel vindicated in that, you can get over it. but if they can look you in the eyes and say “I love you. I would make the same choice again.” You will never sleep peacefully again, is all.

quietwingsinthesky

“I thought they cared about me, but they were lying this whole time.” <- tired. boring. removes all the nuance of this relationship to make it easier to move on from.

“I thought they cared about me, and I was right, and every minute they were there for me, every time they said they were proud, every laugh we shared leaning against each other bruised and breathless, all of it was real. and they still left me behind. They could put their love aside. I couldn’t.” <- insane. will never leave you alone. reminds you that even the worst people are still people and can still care about even the ones they hurt the most and that undoes neither the harm nor the love.

quietwingsinthesky

okay. something about the way i worded this is making people think this is a vent thing about real relationships. and it’s fine if that’s where it took you. but i feel like i need to be transparent here: this be blorboposting. karlach cliffgate and her terrible awful no good very bad betrayal.

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is-this-fascism

its funny to me how warmups for instruments generally sound nice and pretty. like just basic scales or chords. the exercises i do on my guitar could be mistaken for actual music at times.

and then vocal warmups are shit like. bark like a seal. grunt like a thwomp from mario 64. now sing the melody but instead of the lyrics youre saying 'moo moo mee mee mah mah' even the scales you gotta moo mee mah through that shit and its just so goofy every time. and this is why im not a singer

is-this-fascism

see this is exactly what i mean. i thought someone was having a mental break of some kind in my notes until i remembered what i had posted last night

funstyle

teenage girls in fiction: hes so cute i wanna slow dance with him at prom :3 hehe

real teenage girls: imagine if he got injured and i had to tend to his wounds and i could watch him seize up a bit as i disinfect them and in the haze of fever he sees me as an angel

dankmemeuniversity

thyrell

why are there 5,000 people on this site holding back from doing something with literally zero repercussions for anyone in a world that will never remember the chances you didn’t take? don’t waste your time on this earth live your life slap some rice

june-egbert-official

Hi my job is literally to reset the shelves and honestly?? Slap that rice. Slap it good. patting down the bags makes it easier to stack more, which means when I have to do it it’ll be flatter and more settled and more likely that I can just slide it along without it slidin’ around. You are doing me a FAVOR by slapping that rice.

thyrell

rice man approves

shadowbrightshine

SLAP

THAT

RICE

atsumarii

i used to use the rice bags my family buys as fidget toys because it feels nice to squish it and feel all the rice grains

anyway.

SLAP. THAT. RICE.

o-craven-canto

Alternate timeline in which all Greek and Latin roots are swapped:

catastrophe -> contraverse cephalopod -> capitoped chlorophyll -> viridofolia democracy -> populimpery homicide -> anthropoctony homosexual -> equigamic kilometer -> millimensure interregnum -> mesarchy magnanimous -> megapsychic manuscript -> chirography motorcycle -> ergatorote microscope -> parvovisor oxygen -> acidofex polyamory -> multierasty television -> remotoscope universe -> monostrophe

o-craven-canto

amphibious -> ambivivent automobile -> ipsokinete autopsy -> ipsovision circumcision -> cyclotomy conspiracy -> synpnoea epilogue -> supraverb homosexual -> idemphilic [thanks to @dative-ciceroni-pizza2h] menstruation -> selenosis [looser] Mesopotamia -> Medioflumina pornography -> lupascript scissor -> schizotron [?] troglodyte -> cavernicole tyrannosaur -> dictatoreptile

(honorable mention: carnivore <-> sarcophage)

plaguedocboi

You know what? You’re right. Thank you south carolina aquarium

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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

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escuerzoresucitado

papayajuan2019

could really go for 200mg right now. of anything.

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