them there cucumbers pardner

some people are afraid to be corny. not me. i live life on the cob, baby.

reblog if its friday and you made it

Marylanders don’t say hi hello how are you my name is they just try to kill you with their car. which is of course a great honor in their culture

this reads like it was submitted to a local newspaper in the early 1900s

u ever have on mutuals whos so deep in another fandom that u know absolutely zero about and they make posts that look like they speaking another language or some shit

i really appreciate the number of mutuals who are not in any of my fandoms sharing this post. its like a little hello nod as we pass each other in the hall

squidward really was such a dramatic faggot we don't talk about it enough. he bought a cemetery plot with a tombstone that said "here lies squidward's hopes and dreams". and he quietly yet tearfully laid flowers at it. and like he was doing that for no known audience. he didn't know mr. krabs was watching. faggot hijinks that make rupaul look masc.