Fuck

A glory hole. But for petting dogs.

life is painful but women are hot

why do advertisers humanize food products

why is there a bear family who considers the highlight of their day to be wiping their asses

why can no one believe it’s not butter

Why are Cinnamon Toast Crunch pieces cannibalistic!?

Thank fucking GOD

yknow that one picture of the whiteboard that says “was jfk a twink?” in large letters and underneath that it says “yes”, “no,” or “twunk” with a bunch of tally marks under “twunk” and way off to the side someone has written “here’s how bernie can still win” because i honestly think about it every fucking day of my life

alien bussy fingering simulator 2019

this is the top result when i google my url 

i remember??? those dog stuffed animals that you’d get in happy meals. i rly miss those omg

I once had a professor SLAM a thermos down on his desk and say to us “there’s more pressure in my sinuses right now than there is at the bottom of the sea. This thing’s full of NyQuil. I’m going to drink it while I teach, and when your heads are replaced by swirling rainbows, I will cancel the rest of class.” The class ended up being 17 minutes long.

Your professor was trying to fight God

this is ok to reblog, especially cis people

10% of the notes are trans people who know exactly what i’m talking about and the other 90% are dumbasses refusing to rub their last two brain cells together to read the words in front of them