polaris

Why would you hide that in the notes

I want an ice maker and enough room in the freezer for a pizza and that is IT.

I want the dumbest fridge you got. Gimme the orange tabby of refrigeration. I want my fridge to pull the wrong lever and turn my enemies into llamas instead of killing them. I want the following features: keeps things cold, has compartment that keeps things colder, a door that opens and shuts.

"Here at Stupid Jeff's Dumb Appliance Warehouse we sell the dumbest fucking appliances. Check out this fridge. This fridge won't ask you about your day, this dumb fucking fridge doesn't know what an Elon Musk is and won't fucking tell you what bullshit that dumb monkey is slapping into his phone today when you try to get some fucking milk. We took out all those "smart" electronics and in their place we put a loaded Glock 9mm that is put right up to that light that turns on when you open the door, which is the smartest thing in this fucking stupid fridge and let me tell you that fucker is on thin goddamn ice, if it gets too smart and tries to turn on before you open that door, the Glock will blow it to hell. Speaking of ice, this stupid fridge makes it. It makes ice, it keeps things cold, it comes with shelves. It's sturdy enough that when your ex comes back to your place looking for their stuff that they think they left behind like nine months ago and they know that you don't have it, but they wanted an excuse to come start a fight with you and throw a chair at your head but miss you and hit your fridge MICHAEL, this fridge will keep trucking because it gives zero shits and it only lives to keep things cold. Come to Stupid Jeff's Dumb Appliance Warehouse, if you ask us if we have an app, we break your kneecaps."

Here's their shop and rest of the links to their social media since this tiktok didn't link directly to their actual tiktok be sure to credit these creators correctly!!

túlerőben voltak

thanks for explaining, was about to set laptop on fire for fear of witchcraft (still might, let's see where the evening takes me)

doomed by the narrative but not to death. doomed to survive. doomed to stay alive inside the story. doomed to never escape the narrative, not even through death. you are allowed no exit. there is no way out for you and there never was. you couldn’t die if you wanted to. the narrative has a hold on you and it won’t let go. death is too sweet a doom for you. the story has something much worse in mind. there is no way out.

submissive in the way a livestock guardian dog is submissive to the sheep it kills wolves for

guys i am fucking crying i got an old copy of pilgrims progress from a used booksale and i just opened it and there's a handwritten dedication to a girl from her grandfather from christmas 1888 and she put a little fucking drawing in the back and im sitting on my bed losing my fucking mind over a hundred years ago a grandpa gave this book to "miss maggie" and she loved it and it's lasted a century and im holding it right now

i showed the book to my mom when she came home from a trip and she reminded me that in little women (1868) each of the march sisters got a copy of pilgrim’s progress under their pillow for christmas there is a high, high, HIGH chance that this little girl was a huge fan of little women and talked to her grandfather about it and he got her a classic book just like her 1880s blorbos i am flailing on the ground humanity is so special

I KNOW that playing God is morally wrong, but holy HELL, it looks fun.

Why is it playing God? We aren’t violating any natural laws. God set the parameters of the universe to allow these things. There’s nothing wrong with it, there’s no hubris in learning more about how to manipulate the universe around us.

We made a whole-ass fish.

Before you continue scrolling, go back and find the other four cows.