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follow your heartbeat to freedom [david/patrick, G, 4,271] by withkissesfour
He’s always prided himself on making decisions, making them well, making them wisely, but it’s rare that they’re not clouded, directed, guided by the overwhelming need to be liked, an eagerness to please, a desire to be nice, to always be as nice as he can be; and he can’t figure out whether he’s made the right choice once he’s made it.
Patrick makes choices, in four parts.
Like Coming Home [david/patrick, G, 6,641] by @erandri
Patrick knows that he likes guys, he's just never put it in so many words.
Or, the five times Patrick almost comes out and the one time he does.
steel and oak [david/patrick, E, 4,580] by @helvetica-upstart
“Would you have picked me up in a bar, if I'd been there back when you were looking for randoms?” Patrick asks, pupils blown wide. “I’ve never done that before, I don’t even know what it would be like, but. I can imagine. I'd want it.”
or, David has some idle talents; Patrick has some fantasies that would put them to use.
2020
May all your wishes come true [david/patrick, NR, 6,394] by For_pucks_sake
David and Patrick make birthday wishes over the years.
Not Quite Ready [david/patrick, E, 801] by @reginahalliwell
David and Patrick try something new, and David realizes he isn't quite ready.
Solid [david/patrick, T, 959] by @impressionism
After the wedding, after the goodbyes, Patrick steps up to take care of David. That's pretty much it.
The Beautiful Game [david/patrick, G, 1,671] by @popfly
David and Patrick meet at a baseball game.
This Room Will Keep You Warm [david/patrick, T, 3,159] by odofidi
Patrick wakes up one January morning with a terrible head cold. David (with a small assist from Stevie) finds his way through the day.
Unbelievable [david/patrick, G, 488] by @thegrayness
Patrick comes back with lunch for David in The Olive Branch: A Ficlet.
2021
As They Rolled Away [gen, G, 330] by shuisfan79
Stevie watches Johnny and Moira through the car window as their car rolls away.
come home to my heart [ted/alexis, G, 1,822] by @roseapothecary
“Oh, my god — Ted?”
Her own voice echoes in her ears and she’s suddenly standing, dumbfounded, outside Cafe Tropical almost seven years ago. Watching Ted step into the bistro felt eerily similar to watching him step off that motorcycle for the first time. It’s the kind of shock that makes the sparkling restaurant tile quake under her Louboutins.
Except, this time, the feelings bubbling to her chest are now far more nuanced than she knows how to process — no amount of personal growth or number of self-care retreats with Oprah could’ve prepared her to suddenly come face-to-face with the first person she ever loved more than herself.
OR: Alexis has a blind date. It's not what she EX-pected.
Double-Booked [david/patrick, E, 13,171] by @themelancholyvegetable
David books an Airbnb. Patrick books a VRBO. It's the same house.
Tropes: There's only one bed; snowed in/forced proximity
Fate Is Kind When You Wish [david/patrick, M, 8,685] by @januarium
There it is, an actual real life shooting star. He’d had a brief period of obsession with Disney’s Pinocchio as a child and had thrown a spectacular tantrum when his parents refused to make shooting stars appear for him on command. Adelina had explained that that was why they were so special. You don’t get all the wishes you want, you only get them if you’re really lucky and you take the time to look.
David is pretty sure he's seen a couple before, and those wishes certainly didn’t come true, but he can’t help himself. He stares at the star flying across the sky and thinks as loudly as he can.
I wish I knew what’s going on in Patrick’s head.
Gonna Watch You Shine [johnny & stevie, G, 1,127] by @kiwiana-writes
Found Family Feelings: The Johnny & Stevie edition.
In the long reeds of difficulty and pain (that’s where you find the treasure) [david/patrick, E, 3,363] by @redwineandqueer
When the knock comes, Patrick has been pacing his apartment for over an hour. The TV blares, forgotten, in the background and a pile of books are scattered over the coffee table, remnants of his unsuccessful attempts to distract himself from the echoing silence.
Because David still hasn’t called.
Rollin' With the Homies [alexis/twyla, T, 9,917] by @sarahlevys
So I know it seems like I live in this, like, super privileged world. Or maybe, like, a rip-off of The O.C. – or even worse, Laguna Beach, ugh! But I swear, I have a totally normal life!
Alexis Rose is just your totally average 16 year old with two annoying older siblings, David and Stevie, and a totally normal crush on her best friend, Twyla Sands. It's completely chill. She isn't, like, totally buggin'.
AKA: the Clueless AU.
2022
not before 10 a.m. [david/patrick, T, 200] by @dinnfameron
David's not really a morning person? But for Patrick, he might make an exception.
Written for the prompt: Someone says “I can’t believe you talked me into this…”
the lie between your teeth [david/patrick, M, 48,126] by @stereopticons
The man–David, 30, 79 miles away–is giving the camera an imperious stare, thick eyebrows knitted together, dark stubble perfectly highlighting his face, lips parted just slightly. The only word Patrick can think of to describe him is beautiful and even that feels inadequate. He stares at the picture for so long, waiting for his brain to come back online, that his phone screen dims and shuts off.
AU in which David and Patrick meet via a dating app, or the answer to the question, "what if David's 79-mile-away match from 2x07 was actually Patrick?"
We blend into my favorite color [david/patrick, E, 2,333] by anonymous
After Cabaret ends, Patrick is interested in the idea of wearing makeup again. Him and David explore this in the bedroom.
2023
Drabble Life 2023 [david/patrick, NR, 1,909] by @jesuisici33
new year, new drabbles!drabbles based on weekly prompts from schittscreekdrabbleblog on tumblr
Forever [david/patrick, G, 100] by @legalgal421
David reflects during his wedding.
Spin [david/patrick, G, 100] by @ramonaflow
100 words based on the Tumblr prompt: Spin
2024
“Where words fail, music speaks.” [david/patrick, M, 22,272] by @characterassassination-at-9am
What would happen if we mashed up Noah's lyrics with Patrick's thoughts and words?
Title is a quote by Hans Christian Andersen
Ouch! [david/patrick, T, 735] by @a-noble-dragon
One second David’s crouching down to get a box of Rose Apothecary totes from the lower shelf, then the next he’s overbalanced and is falling ass backwards onto the floor right in the middle of the store.
The Beltane Blessing [david/patrick, E, 1,725] by @a-noble-dragon
The Fae realm at Schitt’s Creek is on a different plain to that of the human world. Only at Samhain or Beltane does the veil between the two world’s thin. At those times, the fae peek through the transparent veil to laugh at the humans and their antics. They’re drawn to the joy, abundance, and fertility of the festival which marks the beginning of summer, and is held midway between spring equinox and summer solstice.
And sometimes, when the mischief mood is as high as the moon, the fae leave their realm to join in with the fun.
Stats:
No fanworks for 2017 or 2018
2019: 3 fics/15,492 words
2020: 7 fics/14,059 words
2021: 7 fics/38,415 words
2022: 3 fics/50,659 words
2023: 3 fics/2,109 words
2024: 3 fics/24,372 words
Total: 26 fics/145,466 words
On April 16th 2025 the US federal government has proposed to change the interpretation of the endangered species act so that it no longer protects habitat.
This is open for public comment until the end of May 19th. Please comment and make your voice heard.
Wildlife need their habitat. If the ESA redefines harm so that habitat is no longer protected, the implications for wildlife would be catastrophic.
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i mean they did also kill jesus. that was a pretty significant thing that happened. like i understand where you’re coming from here but they very much did kill jesus.
learning the backstories of any of your female relatives always amounts to taking 500 points of psychological damage and wondering if the world is irredeemably evil
Not just for medical either. Ever got smacked with a huge ass fee for "damages" when you move out of an apartment that not just eats your security deposit but tries to take an arm and a leg as well.
Ask for the itemized list, you will be surprised how fast they come back with a "huh, that's weird, I can't seem to find where these damages are coming from" and let that shit go.
People WILL try to screw you on all kinds of routine and mundane shit. Don't let them.
A cyanometer is a device used to measure the intensity of blue in the sky, often used in meteorology and atmospheric studies. It typically consists of a series of blue color patches or a color gradient, allowing the user to compare the sky’s color to these reference colors.
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If you do this with my fics, or anyone's fics, please know I HATE you. I hate you more than every troll comment, every "your writing sucks kys" comment, every "update soon" comment. I hate you. Other authors hate you. If you want my fic, you either WAIT for it or you pay me for it. And if you won't do one of those things, you don't deserve my fic or anyone else's.
God, I love tumblr, its the only place where we can get a philosophical analysis of why divorcees crumble and it was in the tags. Like if not for the screenshot, 90% of people would miss this wisdom
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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taking the threshold of adulthood as 18, you are likely to spend at least 52 years as a fully grown adult
at the age of 30 you have lived less than one quarter of your adult life (12/52 years)
'middle age' is typically considered to be between 45-65
it is extremely common to switch careers, start new relationships, emigrate, go to college for the first or second time, or make other life-changing decisions in middle age
it's wild that I even have to spell it out, but older adults (60+) still have social lives and hobbies and interests.
you can still date when you get old. you can still fuck. you can still learn new skills, be fashionable, be competitive. you can still gossip, you can still travel, you can still read. you can still transition. you can still come out.
young doesn't mean peaked. you're inexperienced in your 20s! you're still learning and practicing! you're developing social skills and muscle memory that will last decades!
there are a million things to do in the world, and they don't vanish overnight because an imaginary number gets too big
Im sorry but it is so funny how people outside of tumblr view us. Like why are the tiktokers treating tumblr like some professional ass website you need to do extensive prep before you begin posting on. And the follower farming advice is so fucking funny to me when this is the website where people actively hate getting new followers
gummygunk
prguitarman
yousharknotpass
pixelskylines
tangentwithtanner
