diplomacy, in my own name

Also, textures !! 💙

Sleepy. Child's good night book. 1943. Margaret Wise Brown.

but there is a sort of medical doomerism that exists because of these difficulties that i think actively dissuades people from getting the care they deserve, and this issue compounds on the other issues and really needs to be addressed. despite how doctors may act to you, you are the expert on your symptoms. not necessarily what is wrong with you, but what you are experiencing, and you are allowed to say no to your doctor. you are allowed to get a second/third/fourth opinion and shop around until you find a doctor who believes you. in fact in my shopping around i have found a lot of doctors love it when you throw other doctors under the bus, if worded strategically. it's very similar to that strategy of "well my friend thinks it's this," it puts you and the doctor on the same side of trying to rule out or confirm an issue against an unrelated third party.

again, i understand the barriers. it is expensive and time consuming. not everyone can do it. yes. i understand. but it is possible to get a doctor who believes you and actually get treatment for your problems, and that is something you deserve, and it also something you need to believe going in or you're going to give up before you get the chance. it is exhausting and demoralizing to wade through the bullshit, yes, but there are good doctors trapped on the other side of this system who can get to you if you keep trying as best you can. it's not easy. it's not accessible for everyone, which is a huge part of the problem. but it is possible.

more people really need to be taught about how to feel a sense of agency as a patient. the fact no one teaches or explains this to us is a huge issue. but one of the first things I learned after my hEDS diagnosis (that other people! including doctors!) told me was I am the captain of my own care. Every doctor I see is part of a team of people I consult with regarding my symptoms and care. If they're not a good teammate, you can get another one. Shifting this worldview has dramatically changed my relationship with healthcare and the efficiency of my own doctors' appointments, which radically improved my care.

i dont know. like, guys. i have a complicated relationship with this. on top of hEDS, i was born with a rare condition that's about 1 in 10,000 births that would have left me blind had doctors not intervened quick and early before I was even a toddler. I grew up seeing a doctor every four months who meticulously tracked my extremely rare and specific issue that could take a nosedive at any time. i saw him every six months up until is 30-year retirement. at the same time wading through all the bullshit that was the rest of the system. i have a hesitancy to write off doctors and the healthcare system as a whole because the work of doctors shaped my entire life and quite literally how i see.

Discovered last year I couldn’t look at my 2015 MacBook Air without it triggering nausea and migraines, and figured the screen died. Have been getting by on my phone, but concluded I really need a laptop again.

Saved up, realised I could afford a brand new MacBook Neo, and got one.

-And I couldn’t spend more than five minutes looking at the screen without massive eye strain, nausea, vertigo, and if I pushed it, I-need-to-lie-down-in-a-dark-room-for-hours migraines.

Looking up MacBook and Eyestrain explained what is going on. The liquid retina displays that Apple currently has uses Pulse Width Modulation or PWM. In order to give the screens a deeper depth of colour and contrast, PWM flickers between several hundred to thousand times a second.

And there is currently no way to turn it off. There are settings and apps to reduce it, but there is no way to stop the screen from flickering. Checked Apple forums, called Apple Support, and the time I could look at the screen kept shrinking. Got the laptop Tuesday, returned it Friday, today is Sunday and I’m still dealing with a vertigo migraine.

For MacBooks, it seems to vary on the computer model and the software it uses. In retrospect, the issue with my MacBook Air started after a major software update.

And it’s not just an Apple thing. Current Windows and Android screens do the same thing. There’s even a Reddit for people who are sensitive to PWM flickers to help find computers and screens that won’t trigger eyestrain and headaches.

So, yeah. This week has been a learning experience. But for those who are prone to headaches and migraines, this may be something to be aware of, cause I was not.

if you already have an LG monitor or TV or intend to buy one, you probably want to watch this video and keep an eye on gamers nexus for updates (or anyone else covering the LG spying situation):

posted july 16 2026

LG is doing some bad things. how bad? well. here are some very brief bullet points. I am not an expert, gamers nexus is, see the video for more information than this:

LG monitors (brand new and years old, cheap and expensive) auto-install LG's own adware-spyware called LG Monitor App onto windows 10 and 11 computers. you plug in an LG monitor for video output and this gets installed automatically. no hitting OK, no confirmation, no toggles, NOTHING.

the auto-installed LG Monitor App auto-grants itself access to your internet connection and ALL computer resources. the LG Monitor App has the ability to collect: geolocation data, device data, personal information, online activity data, contact data, and more!

...and it shows pop-up ads! because fuck you

on some affected versions of windows, auto-installed shitware like the LG Monitor App can be prevented by navigating to gpedit.msc -> computer configuration -> administrative templates -> system -> device installation -> prevent automatic download of applications associated with metadata

...but, if your LG monitor already installed the LG Monitor App, this is like closing the barn door after the horse got out. and that horse has the logs of everything you were doing on your computer! someone stop that fucking horse!!!

unrelated to the LG Monitor App, many LG TV owners are now required to tell all household members and guests that their LG TV is recording and processing ALL nearby voices. or else they may be in violation of local eavesdropping and wiretapping laws. for owning a fucking LG TV.

plus, how many businesses, workplaces, public spaces use LG TVs?

allegedly the microphone spying can be turned off by disabling microphone features, but LG has been caught disregarding opt-out settings before.

LG TVs can record everything that happens on the TV, including the video output of connected devices like phones, computers, gaming consoles, anything that happens on the TV screen.

LG was sued for their spying, and as a result of that spying suit, now shows pop-ups saying oops! they got caught spying and intend to continue spying. thanks for buying LG!

as of when the video was posted, there was no list of every spying LG monitor or TV. but this stuff is getting rolled out to more and more LG devices, including those purchased years ago.

and that is the shortest summary I can make of this situation without just summarizing more of the gamers nexus video.

⬆️posted july 23 2026

gamers nexus is fairly respected in technology journalism. they fly around the world investigating companies that fuck people over and have pressured major companies to make major changes over the years.

so for gamers nexus to say that this LG spying situation is both unprecedented in how uniquely bad it is in this era of spying, and that it gets even worse than their video where they already say to stop buying and using LG products while recanting every prior recommendation for LG products?