enmu pretty

the best time to learn a new language was when you were twelve and willing to go through great lenghts to read yaoi on the internet. the second best time is now.

not just ‘he would not fucking say that’ but ‘he would not, under torture, admit that’

do you ever watch videos of youtubers reading their own crappy wattpad x self insert fics and think to yourself man i would love to explain the sold to one direction trope to these kids, it would absolutely break them

You ever read fanfic so god tier you have to wait for real life to load back in so you spend half the day doing tasks with that dead look in your eye, replaying all your favorite moments?

#. _ . <- thousand yard stare of the one who's life has been irrevocably changed

Shoutout to incredibly contrived set-ups for kink stories, I respect the grind so much. One time I was frolicking in a field of flowers and I found a fic whose summary started w 'IN A WORLD WHERE THE LOSING ATTORNEY HAS TO SUCK OFF THEIR OPPOSITION' and it's been stuck on my mind ever since

me reading straight up pornography: hmm… this one just doesn’t have enough accurate character psychoanalysis to get me off

U dont understand i had to write the first 70,000 words because if i didnt the sex wouldnt be as perilous or emotionally fraught. Which is the POINT.

sometimes I have to stop myself from posting shit like "who made replacing a bike chain so erotic" because I remember the number of people who see my posts and I have to take a step back and reconsider my choices. sometimes I have to hide my true and sincere thoughts in a post about how I'm not posting them because it is funnier this way

whatever. it's just reaching between all its delicate parts to wrench out its guts with lots of sweating and straining. while it's upside down and immobilised. and then it's just taking the slick and shiny new chain and feeding it gently through gears and between metal before pulling it taut until the derailleur is extended and the chain clicks into place and can no longer be removed. I; think I'm bicycle. I mean bisexual