Blue hearted

I am not taking a risk

Not risking it pals

U know what I want potato of luck

Damn right I’m reblogging. See previous post re wrath of whatever from high atop the thing.

you know who’s gay? paul the real estate novelist who never had time for a wife and davey who’s still in the navy and probably will be for life

New headcannon: everyone in that song is gay except the Piano Man who has no idea he’s playing at a gay bar and the staff and regulars have a betting pool on how long he’ll take to finally figure it out. So far John is ahead.

“The manager gives me a smile ‘cause he knows that it’s me they’ve been coming to see” also implies that the Piano Man is possibly an incredibly attractive but oblivious himbo, and if you listen to the rest of it imagining that, this all fits a little too well.

this makes too much sense. Also, the full quote is “Now John at the bar is a friend of mine. He gets me my drinks for free. And he’s quick with a joke or to light up your smoke. But there’s someplace that he’d rather be” Yes, your bed, he wants to be on your bed honey, that’s not a joke, he is flirting with you.

Lighting another man’s cigarette is some old-school gay cruising.

the problem with dating apps is there’s no yearning… i feel like true romance involves a little crush and some longing for at least a month or so instead of going straight for a date with someone who doesn’t even know or care about u at all

worst part about the Internet is knowing that there are finally people who both match and complement your freak. the nearest one is 2,318.4 miles away and your time zones are awkward

Fuck dude you really can’t

This is the first ad I’ve seen on here that actually fits tumblr’s demographic

😭😭 MAH EMOTIONS. MAH EMOTIONS.

Yeah I love manipulating my friends for my own gain, the gain is called "hanging out", obtained via such cruel tactics as "showing interest in stuff they like" and "being generally complimentary and charming"

Actually my favorite replacement for both 'kill myself' jokes and jokes about reacting violently to things/people that upset me is "I'm going to end up on the news" like it's versatile, it's vague, it's not going to get me in trouble with any censors or websites that take joke threats seriously, it's family friendly while still getting the point across, what's not to love???

tough fucking luck losing my cart and my pack of camels in the same 48 hour period i suspect that it may have been ghouls

are you a medieval silk road merchant