I Don’t Do Encores

just saw a pigeon doing the puffed up courtship dance thing to another pigeon, and as he was strutting around he suddenly stopped for a split second to do a very brief preen-peck at his own side, then returned to the strutting around. and i surprised myself by instantly losing respect for the male pigeon in that moment, like come on man i appreciate you had an itch or whatever but how is she supposed to feel special when you're getting distracted by bullshit like that? which on reflection i don't endorse, i mean those are pretty harsh dating norms i'm imposing on these pigeons, from a total outsider perspective, for no reason. probably not all girl pigeons are as uptight about that sort of thing as i would apparently be if i was a girl pigeon, maybe she even found it endearing who knows, i don't know her. it's none of my business really. sorry pigeons.

Gripping my bathroom sink repeating I am not afraid to keep on living I am not afraid to walk this world alone

Imagine, if you will, you are sitting in the car with a kindly old woman. Faintly you hear the unmistakable first few drum beats of Down With The Sickness by Disturbed over the car's radio. Before you have a chance to wonder why this is playing in an old woman's car she cranks it up, slams on the gas and does the "OOO AH-AH-AH-AH!" with her full chest. Life changing experience.

My dad used to design kitchens at Lowe’s and one day he got a dude from one of the national labs looking to buy a countertop. Dad sent him home with a sample of a quartz-composite countertop to make sure the color will look good with his existing cabinets. The dude asks my dad what the composition of the countertop is and whether it’ll melt if he puts a pot on it (since it’s a composite and not pure stone) and Dad gives him some rough numbers and reassures him that it won’t melt if he puts a hot pan on the counter. The dude comes back with week later without the sample. The dude gives dad a detailed list of the countertops composition, to the nearest hundredth of a percentile, and the exact temperature it melts at, because he took it to his lab and melted it down. tldr, it’s not just firefighters.

Imagine giving someone a sample of the granite you use to make countertops and they come back a few days later just to tell you they fucking dematerialized it

Ok, but this is just, like, what people do if they have access to equipment. We just… put shit in it. Just to see. At this point, I’ll try and hit just about anything with an arc, just to see. I’ll sand and polish anything you’ll let me, if I’m bored enough. If I had a machine that could melt something down and tell me exactly what was in it? I’d be just waiting for parts of my world to become “trash” so I could de-materialize it and turn it into knowledge of what it was.

fahrenheit 451 is so awesome, i wish there was a word like “bradburian” to describe this writer’s unique style that describes entire worlds with the amazement and phantasy seen in the eyes of a child, which i mean in the best way possible. if you look at pictures from ray’s writing den stuffed with memmorabilia of a childhood in “greentown”, you’ll see what i mean. and you know what, it might be a firefighter-thing to tell a random caller about the temperature at which book paper catches fire, but it’s also a bradbury-thing to call a fire station about this in the first place. i cannot understate how much i love this writer.

Least brain damaged orange cat

FYI: brokeback mountain is a short story available to read on the new yorker site and as a PDF (only 20 pages!)

everyone's like wehhhhh why doesn't doctor house gets suuuueeed! like my man. literally every patient he sees is someone that's been trying to find a diagnosis for ages. i could live with a little medical malpractice if it were coming from someone ready to break into my home to look for allergens and not simply half heartedly listen to me before suggesting I lose weight and take ages of back and forth arguing to order a single test

"it's medical malpractice" have u ever been a doctor? most medicine is malpractice. let the man limp around chewing vicodin doing 50 invasive tests please

Once Taub (derogatory) derisively said about a patient with unexplained chronic pain “7 doctors couldn’t find anything wrong with him, what does that mean?” and House replied without even thinking “it means they’re idiots” and proceed to work his ass off to diagnose the patient Taub wanted to write off as a faker or something. If a doctor had said that when that patient was ME, I wouldn’t dream of suing them in a million years

Now THIS is the Dragula babe content I WANT.

I’m crying this person is so hot