The Stars Are Calling

i don’t think we can romanticize our way out of this one boys

y'all wanna see a photo of my shrimp I'm pretty sure I just caught speaking directly to god

why tf do y’all keep tagging this “shrimp heaven now”

Career aspiration: a merry middle aged aunt from a Jane Austen novel who is slightly social unaware, moderately wealthy, and always ready to whisk her neices and young female relations to town and gossip about everyone’s engagements.

she’s distant! she’s incoherent! she’s sensitive! she uses escapism as a coping mechanism! she’s me!!!

be handed a letter by your maid, break the wax seal, read it with dawning understanding and then slowly look up into the middle-distance with an ominous smirk. order your carriage to be prepared at once. 

me getting a text and calling a lyft

I’m not a party gay. I’m a couch gay, a homosectional you could say

Can we all take a moment for Molly Weasley who knew her family so fucking well, she had “prison” as one of the options on her clock that told her where everyone was.

Well to be fair to Molly: Arthur, regularly tinkered with enchanting muggle things, against the law Bill, curse breaker and tomb raider for private (goblin run) corporation. Almost certainly has raided tombs that the Egyptian MoM and muggle government weren’t happy about. Charlie: illegal dragon smuggler with buddies on the weekends, apparently. Fred and George. Enough said. Ron is best friends with Harry Potter. Harry is always on some Bull Shit. Ginny idolized the Twins growing up. Literally the only person who she doesn’t have to worry about getting arrested on a daily basis is Percy. Who commits treason in the 7th book.

how do I grow a set of antlers and become a deep forest mist deity within 5 years

kidz bop cask of amontillado

The character BB-8 in Starwars: The Force Awakens is moved by a group of baby chickens wearing green suits.