The Man Don't Give A Fuck

Why am I an emotional wreck over the Titanic?

Why were you watching it in the first place? 

Another day in this body.

What body are you used to having? 

This is bad. This is terrible.

...What's wrong with you? 

Right this instant, you are right.

Now that's something I rarely hear! 

Esgusodion pathetic i ddynion… Football is wank. Rugby is played by hooligans, watched by gentlemen and football is the other way round, eh? No to English rugby as well. Keep off our game. I miss it too. Fancy watching the Wales V Italy game with me in Feb? If we’re still on the bus that is… Iesu Mawr… Don’t even talk to me about that. Gutted I was. 

Yeah, I do. It would be shit for everyone else, mind. Two angry welshmen watching a match together. 

Like… Now?

Right this instant? 

Now, actually.

Ah. Marvellous. 

Do you not listen to anyone around here?

The people round 'ere, love, are full of shit. So no- I don't. 

I’m not absolutely sure, and I feel like a complete idiot for just saying a random date, but I think it’s in the next few days? If it makes you feel any bit better, I know that we’re going to Bora Bora next! So it’ll be nice and warm…for your…er…boy bits.

Wych! That's great, that is. Thanks, love.

True, true. We got Parc Y Scarlets in Llanelli, mind. Ah I miss my rugby. Nice beach, too. Mm, cadwch Cymru yn lan. Danfonwch y sbwriel i Loegr!

Exactly. Sod the buggers!

Really!? O fy nuw! I’m from Llanelli; not that far from Port Talbot really, is it? Yeah, it’s a shit hole, but so is Llanelli. Neither as bad as Newport, though.

Yeah, I know the place. They may be dumps, but they're better than any English equivalent, aint they? Twll dîn pob Sais!

Christmas was yesterday, now everyone needs to shut up about it.

Christmas aint just a day, love. Most people drag it out from November the 1st to January. 

Depends where we're going, don't it? It might be somewhere shit. In which case i'd much rather stay 'ere. 

Yeah… Wow, you’re the first person to have actually detected it. Tidy!

Takes one to know one, don't it?

I think in a few days, you’ll be pleased to know!

Grand, that is. Bloody grand.