I am not led, I lead.

nobody coughs up blood dramatically into their handkerchiefs anymore

my beautiful wife, severe thunderstorm warning, is texting me 😌😚😍😍

anyone have a lil crush on me yet

Ok*reduces you to a simmer* go rest for a while

You never know what color pallette someone's Tumblr is till ppl are screenshotting posts and tags

Oh wow.

Some people on tumblr are reading ancient scrolls and you'd never know

in law school, my mom took me to this stress retreat because my family was vaguely aware i was a suicide risk. and they didnt allow phones, so i brought this huge bag of books. and one of the options for "destressing" was this fake cave grotto thing, where they'd decorated a room to make it look exactly like an underground cave and the air was like -10 degrees, but there was a like 4ft deep pool in the middle that was kept super super hot, so you would just switch between the hot and cold. and they would bring you an endless supply of this weird syrupy drink thing that was like super caffeinated and tasted like sugar and mint. and so i spent multiple days sitting half submerged in this fake grotto drinking mystery liquid and reading. and i have to be honest i really did feel less stressed

*seductively takes off glasses* wow you're fucking blurry

i miss everyone

doomscrolling thru the weather app

his sad eyes and fat cock have captivated me