Yeah i went on this date with this guy and he was really weird about being bisexual? Like he started talking about jerking off to twinks in panties—as though I've never fujo'd the fuck out before—but I was just sitting there stunned: we're in the middle of a coffee shop and I don't think Dolores, age 67, wants to hear about the theater kid—sorry theater "barely-legal"—you're popping a boner to. So I told him to tone it down and then he tried to name drop John Waters as though he's some esoteric figure. He said (out loud!) "I bet you don't know who that is." I ended up going to the bathroom to brainstorm some excuses for bailing with the groupchat, but when I came back I heard him muttering some weird Trump impression to himself. He kept saying "She's hetero Jessica folks!"
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