Aries: You have a knack for impressing when you least expect it, make sure not to be too modest about the gifts that may follow! That bounty is rightfully yours!

Taurus: An interaction with someone different will impart wisdom that you never considered before. This wisdom will be in the form of cartoonishly large cuts of meat. 

Gemini: Something in you has been straining against your general aversion to confrontation. Let yourself be opinionated for a change, and dont be surprised when you burst into flame that does not damage your flesh.

Cancer: Size and speed are always pitted against each other. Know that someone with both has to make significant concessions. 

Leo: Increase the drama of any situation by starting fistfights!

Virgo: Does nobody appreciate your help? Try sneaking in to their room in the middle of the night and laying your eggs in their skin all sneaky like. 

Libra: Understand that scientifically, limelight takes the form of limewaves until it is observed, and collapses into individual limeparticles. 

Scorpio: Now is the time to keep your requests humble and reasonable. Soon you’ll be able to pounce like a desirous panther, and maul the things you really want.

Ophiuchus: Your conversations with a friend will be overheard by just the right or just the wrong person, depending on your opinion of ghosts that can mimic the sound of your voice.

Sagittarius: Nobody has ever suffered from being too respectful, just make sure the people you’re respecting are, in fact, worthy of respect.

Capricorn: Limits are limits for a reason! Some are meant to be pushed and others are not. Some may take careful consideration and conversation with loved ones, others will take classified technology and illegal surgery.

Aquarius: Today is a good time to experiment. You never know how much radiation you can handle until you try.

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