ignite me;

Maybe, the very reason why I am so afraid of being left by the people I love is because the first guy in my life left me just before I get to see the light of the world. The sperm donor. The dna supplier. The father I never had.

Am I a mistake? Am I just an accident? Am I uncalled for? Maybe yes. Because if I am a blessing, I should be happy right now. I could have been contented. I’m such a bad person. God gave me this life but I am not happy of it. And that’s because someone is not happy of it too. Someone abandoned this life, ran away from it and threw it as if it’s just another garbage in a bag. I’m a mistake. A very big mistake.

I promised myself that I’m not gonna find that person. That he is just a part of a past that is not worthy of my memory. He is a stranger I shouldn’t talk to. A creepy clown. A monster in the dark. I told myself over and over again that he does not matter. That he’s a trash too. But why do I feel this way about the “unknown”? Why am I feeling this hallow in my heart? I hate you. I'I hate you for making me hate myself. I hate you for all the sadness I felt, for all the pain I suffered, for all the struggles I’ve done in this uncalled life. I hate you.

@zellewhatever

A personal blog owned by a very pretty girl. As clean as it is, I love lurking inside her blog because she seems to blog her heart and freely expresses her feelings without hesitation. Plus her photosets can make you smile because her face is really angelic. Because I am not active anymore, I never get the chance to meet her but I hope that I’ll be able to know her more. Hi Zelle! How are you? You know what, you’re very pretty. And I can see a sweet girl in your eyes. I hope you’re always doing well. Happy new year to you and your family. 

@samisamisamice

A purple personal blog! Her background is lit af! I like it! I love purple and pink that’s why her blog is easy on my eyes. She is inteeractive too, proved by published tumblr ask inside her blog. Reminds m of those times Ive been very interactive too with my Tumblr friends. Anddddd,She’s very pretty too! Hello hello baby girl! Thank you for following me even though I am no longer active. I hope you do well always and that I’ll get to know you more this 2018.Have a blast! Enjoy the last few days of 2017!

@lemadijane

I remember her as one of the bloggers who knows how to make themes. A very artistic blogger. This blog is clean and full of life. It’s like a book of art, a reflection of her, a journal she wrote for us to see. What I love about this blog is that you can see the blogger in it, even without photos or verbatim convos. I’ve been following this blog since forever and I have no reason to unfollow her. Hi Madi! Way back 2012, I’m already a follower and I’m glad that this blog is still alive and kicking. Keep blogging and I’m looking forward for more Tumblr moments with you!

@veiledwriter

One of the cleanest blog I’ve checked! How I wish I can blog the way she do. I am really impressed of her blog and the way she blogs. It’s like a prose and a journal in one. Because of her blog, I am motivated to keep mine clean and alive too. Haha! And oh! I don’t know the blogger, not sure if anonymous or not, if a girl or a guy, but all I know is that he/she is one heck of a blogger. Hello veiled writer! Keep blogging! I am looking forward for more of your stories. Happy new year!

@hopelessromanticdamsel

I’m old and my memory is poor but I will never forget that this blog is one of those blogs that I will forever treasure in my heart. A personal blog ran by a very sweet person. Two-columned but still very clean. I am not a fan of columned blog but hers seemed to be an exception. The blogger is interactive too, and i bet she really is. Hi Felisse, anak! I missed you. Thank you for sticking with me after all these years! I love you and happy 8th years to your blog!

@buhaybabae

One of my favorite blogs ever. Since 2012, this blog never failed to impress me.I don’t know if there’s something wrong with my internet but i can’t seem to view her blog theme, but it doesn’t matter because what’s important for me are those that are inside it. The blogger’s random thoughts. Answered tumblr asks. Reblogged posts. Such an amazing blog this is. Hello Kirsten! How are you? I am not sure if you still know me, but thank you for staying. I pray that you always do well in everything you do and that you are happy. Keep bogging and inspiring other people. Love love <3

@happinems

You know what’s amazing? At this second, for every teenage girl twirling her fingers into the ends of her hair, not paying attention in class, wondering who she’ll be in love with someday, at this second, there is a teenage boy somewhere out there, just for her, slumped low at his desk, tapping his foot, staring out the window, wondering exactly the same thing.

buhaybabae:

And then the next day, they will bump into each other in the street, look at each other’s eyes and feel that unusual sensation in their chest. They would just smile and walk away. But these two people won’t stop thinking about this moment until they see each other again. It all started when they were bored at class and they they thought about “the one”.

iamunheardd:

And then that single and fleeting moment will serve as a starting point, where accidental meetings and get-to-know-each-other instances will progress from. Both of their minds will consider the possibilities and what if’s, thinking whether or not that this person, an unexpected stranger, can possibly be the significant other they’re going to spend the rest of their lives with. The perfect assumptions.

gaguhantayo:

And upon that time they know each other, there are times they keep calling one another She’ll look outside her window while talking to him on the phone thinking if he’s looking at the same star that she is looking at. It’s in the middle hours of the night they think of each other, how far away they are and the fact that they want to see each other again. They keep playing several scenarios over their mind and choose a different one each time because, no matter how many times they have met, They can not unravel the mystery they feel for each other.

ding-ang-bato:

And then one day, that perfect day will come. When everything will be alright for the two of them. When they don’t have to think of those juvenile fantasies because they’re only an inch away from each other. When he can already kiss her gently, caress the curve of her face, brush his cheek upon hers before he dived to her neck. And then he would love the way she would call him “baby”, and how her hair would smell like strawberry and vanilla after every fresh bath. He would treasure her, flaws and all, and would love the way her nose wrinkles whenever she’s deep in concentration. He would kiss her on the forehead and tell her good night, loving the way she would feel against him when they fall asleep.

hesezrawr:

And that will not stop there. Time will pass and their relationship would surely last. Because they both know that they’re both lucky enough to find the better-half of their souls this early. or maybe not early, we can say that it’s in God’s most perfect time. They will stay together no matter how hard things might be. Of course they’ll have misunderstandings but they will always put love in top of their relationship. For when there’s love they will respect each other’s feelings, decisions and imperfections. And even if they don’t know everything yet, they’;; discover the world together — travelling in the most romantic places in the world and taking pictures together as memories where being made and relationship becomes stronger. And at the end of each day of their lives, they’ll lay down and look into each other’s eyes but no words will be said. They’ll just give each other the kind of look which says “Hey, i’m glad you came into my life, stay here by my side forever.”

emmariechristy:

And that forever wasn’t just the end of the story that was once created in their longing mind. All were made into reality through a vow that they have to express in front of the altar. And in that red aisle, facing that wonderful image of Him who had made everything possible, with the guy, sweaty and nervous in the upper corner of the altar, and with her parents by her side, that girl who once just twirling her hair unattentively in class and wondering who’s her destiny, is now wearing this glamorous white gown, approaching that one man who had stand tall for her. She can hear the loud beating of her heart. Mixture of excitement, happiness and pure love for the man who had made her realized that loving may not be easy but indeed it is the most wonderful feeling of all. Now she’s ready. She’s ready enough to face in front of him, look him in the eyes and tell the word “I do”.

Two years ago, on my way to a job interview, I rode the train going to Ortigas. Desperate time, I have no choice but rode the train even though I know that it is full. Way too full. I was on a formal attire, a skirt just an inch above my knee, a longsleeve polo shirt and a two-inch heels because, for pete’s sake, it is a job interview. When we got to Shaw Blvd Station, people came rushing inside the train, resulting to a sardines-like position inside. And that’s when I felt a hand pressing my buttocks. At first, I didn’t mind because I thought somebody just accidentally touched my butt because of our situation, but then the hand started to press harder and it felt like he’s starting to caress it. I tried to move so that I can distract the owner of that disrespectful hand. But it didn’t budge. I want to scream, but no words came out from my mouth but one little tear in my eyes. I was so sorry for myself. I was so scared and such a coward. I run out of the train not even looking back to the maniac who harassed me inside. Again, my heart was broken by guys who only think of themselves. And because of this, I have some things to say to all of you.

We don’t dress for men. We dress for ourselves. We don’t wear makeup to impress men. We wear makeup to make ourselves presentable especially at work. We don’t wear shorts to attract guys, we wear it coz it makes us feel comfortable. Same with sleeveless top. We don’t keep our body clean and flawless to make men keep their eyes shot on us, we just believe that being clean makes us healthy and young. We don’t spend an hour or two in front of the mirror making ourselves pretty just to be catcalled or receive malicious whistles from guys. We do it coz sometimes it feels good to see the beauty within ourselves and not hearing it from somebody else. We don’t go to clubs or bars to search for guys or flirt with them. Just like you, we just wanna have fun. We are not made to entertain men. We are made to be loved by them.

That’s why it’s disgusting to read comments from guys who always say that women are raped because they show them that they wanted it. That because they wear short shorts, skimpy skirts, crop tops, pushup bras, or whatever clothes they came up with. It’s disgusting to blame women for the crime that was supposed to be fought for them. Harassment is harassment. Rape is rape. Whatever she wear, wherever she is, whoever she was with, whatever time is it, as long as there are heartless maniacs out there, she is not safe. We are not safe. So don’t blame her. Nobody wants it. Nobody asks for it.

PS: My post is also for all the guys who are also victims of harassment and rape. For all of you people, I am praying that one day, you’ll find the justice that you deserve. Be strong, I know you are.

Three times, four times, five, di ko alam kung ilang beses kong binasa yung part na yun kasi di talaga magsink in sa utak ko. Para akong grade 1 na natututo pa lang magbasa. Yung utak ko, pinipilit na alalahanin yung mga nangyari sa past, simula nung una kong nakilala si “Yanyan”, yung mga Tinychat moments, yung palitan ng messages inbox, yung mga kalokohan. YUng tinatawag akong matanda na daw ako. Yung “crush sana kita kaso matanda ka na.” Hahaha. Di ko talaga alam, sobrang gulat na gulat ako. Naalala ko pa nung ginawan niyo ako ng blog ni Elaine para sa birthday ko. Basta nagflashback lahat. As in lahat lahat. Napapangiti ako pero sobrang kirot ng puso ko. Hanggang ngayon, habang sinusulat ko to. Nung nadeactivate yung “feelingdanielpadilla/doneyell) nagmessage agad ako sa kanya sa fb, pero seenzoned ako. Nagtampo ako noon pero inisip ko na baka busy lang sa pagaaral. Kasi maliban kay israelmekaniko, yung blog na yun ang takbuhan ko kapag gusto kong tumawa at kapag namimiss ko sila. Kasi isa ang blog na yun sa mga naging sobraaang malapit sa puso ko. Di ko alam kung paano ko natapos basahin yung post, pero ang tanging alam ko lang, hindi ako galit at hindi ko pinagsisisihan yung pagkakaibigan na shinare ko sayo, si Yanyan ka man o hindi.