My immortal (snail)

"Your son will take your throne from you," they prophesized, spitting each word out of teeth clenched tight with hatred. Why they'd bother prophesizing such an event befuddles you; your son is literally your chosen heir, after all.

i don’t want to be rich i don’t want to be famous i don’t want a million tiktok followers or what the fuck ever i just want a one bedroom apartment in a walkable community with neighbors i could borrow sugar from or bring cookies to when i bake extra and a job that i enjoy and that helps someone and pays me enough to afford my silly little one bedroom and groceries and something fun too at the end of the day and enough free time to sing and dance and read and write and spend time with the people i love and maybe have a dog and some plants to water and a shelf of books to read and a thrift store where i can buy weird clothes and faded denim jackets like i am not asking for anything big or grand or exciting i just want peace i want contentment i want just a little love how the fuck is this too much to ask for

demonic possession is a decent trope but you know what's even better? demonic cohabitation. just 2 people sharing the same body and both being the world's worst roommate about it.

*fights the demon living in my body over whose turn it is to answer the phone*

@funnier-as-a-system

people asking me about my "type" are going to get confusing answers. you're not getting a straightforward response on body types or personalities, you're getting shit like "utility pigeon"

it's because you're always in that damn coffin

fyi the point of fucking up your data patterns isnt to avoid suspicion. it’s to make EVERYONE suspicious. same logic as the bloc, pals.  protect your comrades, be suspicious. ESPECIALLY if you aren’t doing anything likely to get you arrested.

the state is less omniscient and significantly more incompetent than you’d think. overextend their resources at every possible opportunity.  make them cry wolf repeatedly. run their data analysis agents fucking ragged.  and strike. attack.

YES i’m a postgrad statistics researcher and i can tell you that the state honestly has NO IDEA what to do with the data it collects, it has an obsession with big data but it’s almost impossible to work with in practice. the traditional statistical approaches that are used can’t be scaled up, the adapted approaches are substantially weakened, and the machine learning approaches have the same problems and often tell them nothing. data scientists are only just coming around to these issues too, most still just push on with it anyway - incompetence is the word. above all this though, like you say, the biggest issue for the state is at the point of data collection. they will NEVER get anything useful if they’re collecting shitty messy data. they will eventually figure out that the real solution is working how to collect accurate and meaningful data, we should make it as difficult as possible for them to do that

This makes me think that we need WAAAY more apps that generate junk data

Apps that generate junk data? tell me moooore.

Boy it SURE would be a SHAME if this were SPREAD AROUND for everyone TO SEE

i'll be honest thinking about las vegas makes me nauseous.

Thank you divorce for all you've done for music

the nsfw ban on Tumblr is temporarily lifted every time you scroll your for you tab at work

STOP REBLOGGING THIS my phone is glitching an astronomical amount and I immediately knew the culprit was one of my tumblr posts gaining traction

DONT STOP ME NOW!