hey, quick question? why do you think you're a dragon? they're not real. why are you ruining your psyche like this? i cannot believe that perfectly intelligent people like you think you're things that don't exist. i get being uncomfortable in your own skin, but why are you convincing yourself of delusions?
Hey, anon! First off, I want to say that I appreciate your concern and I do kind of understand where you’re coming from. At a glance, it’s pretty easy to get that sort of impression from the otherkin community.
I’ve talked about my reasons for identifying this way a lot on this blog, since the whole purpose of the blog is journaling about it (particularly in this post, though that’s only a summary-overview so some depth is lost in the interest of breadth), but it sums up to this: I experience a lot of things (shifts, supernumerary phantom limbs, instincts, etc.) that, when taken together, make the most sense when viewed through the lens of a draconic identity.
I would point out that I have never suggested that dragons exist physically on this Earth, nor do I believe that now, so I haven’t contradicted the fact of “they’re not real” in the first place.
But then, ideas like justice, right/wrong, love, and numbers aren’t physically “real” either (show me justice, or two - not a symbol representing “two,” not two objects, but two. You can’t do it; they’re metaphysical concepts), and the vast majority of us accept that those things are pretty real and important. So we could get into the importance of metaphysical concepts and how they can deeply, profoundly impact our lives and senses of self - which is really more applicable to a psychological or archetypal explanation for otherkinity than my past life explanation, but is nonetheless a very interesting conversation!
But... I don’t think it would really answer your concerns adequately, mostly because I somehow doubt that if I happened to be a therian - if I identified as something that is physically real on this earth, like a wolf or a rabbit - you would suddenly think my identity any more real and valid than you currently do. Correct me if I’m wrong, of course! But I doubt it. So that would be a rather pointless conversation.
Instead, I’ll focus on what I think is actually the crux of your argument, judging from the rest of your ask - the idea that identifying as nonhuman is somehow inherently harmful.
To that, I would ask: why? What harm does it cause? How exactly is identifying as a dragon “ruining [my] psyche”? I have almost a 4.0 in a rather intense university program and am currently studying for boards. I have an active and healthy social life both online and IRL (well. as much IRL as anyone has a social life IRL right now, but COVID restrictions aside). I have a happy and healthy family life. I don’t experience significant psychological distress or impairment of any kind from my draconity; the closest I really get is occasional homesickness-longing or the mild annoyance of having to control the inappropriate urge to snap my teeth at someone who’s irritating me. How then is it hurting me?
I’d also like to address this last sentence in two parts:
i get being uncomfortable in your own skin, but why are you convincing yourself of delusions?
First: I am not, in fact, uncomfortable in my own skin. I am typically, with rare exception, very comfortable in my skin; I like my body a great deal and while there are traits I’d love to take from my draconic body if I could, by and large this body is a comfortable home for me too. Many otherkin are, but not all of us.
Even for those who are - the funny thing about dysphoria is that the way you treat it isn’t typically by trying to suppress it and pretend it doesn’t exist. It’s typically by doing things to alleviate that dysphoria (within reason) by getting closer to the desired form - whether that be a binder, different clothes, wearing a tail, makeup, asking people to refer to you differently, etc. Many, many otherkin who do experience species dysphoria have spoken out about their experience with trying to suppress and ignore it and how that did far more harm to them than identifying as nonhuman ever did.
Second: a) otherkinity doesn’t fit the qualifications for a delusion, and b) not all delusions are inherently harmful anyway (nor is trying to argue against an actual delusion helpful, in a lot of cases - posts about that by people who actually do experience delusions here, here, and here).
In the end, I call myself “dragon” because it helps me explain my experiences succinctly, find others like me, and understand myself better. I’ve seen no evidence to suggest it causes me (or the vast majority of otherkin) harm in any way. What it has done is help me find a supportive community and some pretty good friends, encourage self-introspection and attempts to understand my own experiences/thoughts/beliefs/identity, encourage healthy skepticism in that self-questioning process, help me find explanations for my nonhuman experiences and advice on how to deal with the more difficult ones, and reassured me I’m not alone in these experiences.
...That got long, but hopefully that addresses your questions and concerns adequately?
