Olls

SHARING BEDS

So that's the tragedy of Ilya Rozanov. The tragedy of Shane Hollander is that he will give completely up and then just keep going. Failure is not an option and he needs to keep performing at the highest level possible for as long as possible but everything else will be gone. Any sort of light or warmth extinguished. Deprivation will become its own reward. He will become so scared of his own wants that he starts actively avoiding things that bring him even some modicum of pleasure--and yes, this would be self harm. He starts to associate the pain of longing with success. Family is his only reprieve, and even then he rations it out. He holds all of his ache and his longing and his need in a fist in his chest and sometimes when his mom hugs him too tight or his dad rubs his shoulders it starts to dislodge and that's dangerous. He can't let himself have that.

How are we getting Shane into fur and diamonds to solidify his place as King of the Mob Wives?

Before we start, I haven’t been able to get Shane to run around in a floor-length fur coat, and I’ve thought about why. It’s not his style, and it’s a statement piece that’s going to get him in trouble when he tries to stay out of those kinds of issues (uj/ i am personally morally opposed to fur, I would probably #cancelShaneHollander for that /rj). I just don’t think he’s doing it.

I don’t think these guys are as woke or ethical as we give them credit for, but I think Ilya does love animals, so he is calling people out for wearing fur (selectively. For example, he lets it slide the one time he gets asked to hang out with his favorite rappers because he’s too excited to speak). Shane’s always thought fur is pointless (“there are synthetic fabrics that are warmer and lighter, why bother?”) but if he tried something on, he would really like the texture.

So let me tell you I searched the internet for the most likely articles of fur (/uj which again made me feel really icky /rj), I am only looking for things Shane Hollander would actually wear. And I am surprised by the results.

First we have a very Shane athleisure zip-up. It’s perfect for around the house while he’s doing his mobwife duties.

(why does this exist??)

But I’m personally more fond of the (/uj ugliest article of clothing I have EVER seen /rj) REVERSIBLE MINK FUR PARKA. I beg you to click on that because you need all the pictures to fully grasp how weird this thing is.

I can see Shane on maybe a rainy day reaching for something like this. (/uj WHY DO THESE EXIST?!?!? /rj)

A while ago, @janhekkta showed us this photoshoot as inspo for Mobwife!Shane, and I do believe this is what he’s wearing for any future photoshoot for an article/interview where he has to talk about his husband’s career.

But the coat is borrowed from the set stylist and he returns it reluctantly because, again, it’s super soft, and his inner monologue is wondering whether you can curl up and sleep in fur or not. The next day he buys a VERY expensive synthetic fur weighted blanket, and Ilya takes issue with it, saying “You already have one, Shane. Her name is Anya and she will be so jealous.”

Diamonds are harder because again, it’s not really Shane’s style to be dripping in diamonds (/uj and diamonds are also super unethical! /rj). But we can all agree Ilya has gotten him a ring that is too big to fit comfortably on a chain when he takes it off to play hockey, a watch that made his Rolex deal angry because it is 5x more expensive than anything Rolex sells (most expensive Rolex is apparently $186k), and a chain that looks like it could just be silver but when you look closely it’s all diamonds.

The best actual solution I’ve heard is a Halloween costume, and I think I’ll say that happens Halloween 2022, when we get the full get-up. Shane borrows a full-length fur from Svetlana, who got it as a gift from an old sugar daddy who didn’t know her well enough to know she didn’t want it. Ilya actually does buy him diamond earrings and bracelets for the occasion. Plus, a huge diamond brooch of a hockey helmet and sticks (I googled this and cannot find one adequately large enough to represent what I want him to have).

All of this said, if Shane were actually on the Mob Wife show (which I think is why people are talking about MobWife!Shane’s fashion and not MobWife!Shane’s mentality), I think it would be VERY funny if he were just... dressed like Shane? and acting like Shane?

LASTLY!!! I think someone makes the mobwife fashion joke to Shane once and he laughs because other people are laughing but he doesn’t really get the reference. They say “you should come to the next party just decked out in fur” and he’s like “ok bet, if that will be funny I guess” and shows up... in a mascot costume. Because of course that’s what our Shane, the jock, would think of first when he thinks of fur outfits.

He looks older than Jack, but not by much. They probably could’ve gone to high school together.

Most of the time the hot guy is reading, but occasionally he looks up and people watches. Jack knows because he’s spotted him watching Jack and his friends skating.

Jack really, really wants to talk to the hot guy, he just can’t think of anything to say. He could ask about his book, but he worries about looking stupid because Jack doesn’t read for fun. He’s considered throwing caution to the wind and asking the guy out to dinner after a quick introduction, but he’s not sure if the hot guy likes dudes or not.

Months pass with Jack watching hot guy from the corner of his eye. The cute sweaters he wore in the chillier months turn to loose t-shirts Jack wishes he could slide a hand under.

Finally, one day in the spring, Jack decides his skateboarding is good enough to impress the guy, and when he knows he’s watching, Jack does a trick he’s been practicing.

Ideally, he’d land it, look super cool, and the hot guy would feel compelled to come talk to him after experiencing that super slick maneuver.

In reality, Jack face plants on the concrete.

He comes to a few seconds later with the hot guy leaning over him. The sun creates a halo around his fluffy hair; he’s even prettier up close. He’s saying something. Slowly his voice clarifies in Jack’s ears.

“Jack? Jack? Can you hear me?”

“Ya’know my name?” Lord, maybe Jack is dead.

Hot guy smiles. It knocks the wind out of Jack all over again. “Your friends here told me. My names Dr. Michael Robinavitch, I work at the ER nearby. How do you feel?”

Jack does his best to answer all of Michael’s questions. He knows the year and who the president is, he’s able to count how many fingers Michael is holding up and can follow Michael’s hand even with his pretty face distracting him in the background.

“You’ve given yourself a nasty headache. Minor concussion maybe, but you’ll be okay.”

“Thanks.” Jack stands and dusts himself off.

“Do me a favor and don’t skate for at least a week.”

Jack scoffs. Fuck his head. After that bruise to his ego this park will never see his face again. “I’m throwing this board out as soon as I get home.”

Michael’s lips quirk. “That’s a shame. I thought you were really good.”

Jack’s heart flutters. “You did?”

Michael hums. “Invest in a helmet and I think your skating career will recover.”

“Oh. Good.”

Jack can’t think of a reason to keep the conversation going, but he doesn’t want it to end, so he stands there like an idiot instead. Staring at the beauty in front of him.

“Well,” Michael says. “Good luck. Swing by the hospital if your headache gets worse.”

“Can I buy you dinner?”

Michael’s eyebrows shoot up. Fuck Jack and his stupid big mouth. “Dinner?”

“As a thank you. For checking on me.”

“Just a thank you?”

Jack’s cheeks blaze. “Well… I, uh—“

Michael grins. He pulls out a pen and scribbles his phone number on Jack’s arm. “If you still want dinner when you’re no longer concussed, give me a call.”

But Jack is naturally masculine enough that they don't even think about it. No one questions that this girl is real, even if it's odd that Jack doesn't have a photo of her.

He's recovering from his unexpected amputation when DADT gets overturned, and Robby is on the first flight over to see him.

Ilya gets so excited when he and Shane get invited to weddings. He loves coordinating their suits and taking cute pictures outside the venue. He’s crying during the ceremony and squeezing Shane’s hand.

At the reception, he’s dancing with toddlers and grandmas. He’s making a toast. He’s slow dancing with his husband. He’s taking shots with the groomsmen and then, again, with the bridesmaids. He’s dragging Shane to the photo booth and is like “ok and now we do a silly one”. When it gets late in the night and the dance floor is full, he is bending over in front of Shane to Yeah! by Usher. Then he’s turning Shane around and pulling their hips together and whispering the lyrics to Don’t Stop The Music by Rihanna in his ear. His tie is around his head. He gets lost and is found smoking a cigar with someone’s uncle.

At the after party, he’s putting his black card down and is covering the entire tab. They’re closing the hotel bar down.

Ilya gets so excited when he and Shane get invited to weddings. He loves coordinating their suits and taking cute pictures outside the venue. He’s crying during the ceremony and squeezing Shane’s hand.

At the reception, he’s dancing with toddlers and grandmas. He’s making a toast. He’s slow dancing with his husband. He’s taking shots with the groomsmen and then, again, with the bridesmaids. He’s dragging Shane to the photo booth and is like “ok and now we do a silly one”. When it gets late in the night and the dance floor is full, he is bending over in front of Shane to Yeah! by Usher. Then he’s turning Shane around and pulling their hips together and whispering the lyrics to Don’t Stop The Music by Rihanna in his ear. His tie is around his head. He gets lost and is found smoking a cigar with someone’s uncle.

At the after party, he’s putting his black card down and is covering the entire tab. They’re closing the hotel bar down.

asdghgfds we all love a good bi marly <3

my prompts are now closed as I am working through my backlog, but my ask box remains open for yapping, headcanons etc. :)

-

"Why is Marleau calling you?" Shane squinted at Ilya's phone on the table. They were currently in a beautiful and very private hotel resort in Spain, enjoying the off-season and a gorgeous breakfast on their bungalow balcony. "It's the middle of the night in Boston."

Ilya picked up his phone, frowning at it. "Maybe he is drunk," he said dryly, and tapped the accept call button, followed by the speaker button. Marleau's voice was so loud that Shane would hear, anyway. "Hello, asshole," Ilya said.

"Heeey cocksucker," Marleau replied; Shane raised his eyebrows at Ilya, who ignored him.

"Why are you calling me while I am having a romantic and very sexy vacation with my husband?" Ilya asked. "Do you miss me so much?"

"Always, brother." Marleau laughed, but even Shane could hear that it wasn't quite natural. Ilya seemed to pick up on it, too, because he asked, "Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, uuuuh, listen..." Shane could see Marleau's big, dumb, handsome face in his mind's eye. He was probably drunk, considering the hour. Shane took a very suspenseful sip of his orange juice, waiting to hear more. "...so, uh, you know how you always talk about how sex with guys is awesome?"

Ilya's frown deepened. "Yes, I always talk about this. How sex with my handsome and perfect husband is awesome." He gave Shane a wink, and Shane rolled his eyes at him.

"Yeah, so," Marly continued, "I thought I'd give it a try."

Shane chocked on his orange juice, but tried to stay silent as to not give himself away. Ilya gave him a wide-eyed, very intrigued grin, then reached out to pat Shane's back to keep him from choking. "Wow. You fucked a guy? Which guy?"

"Friend of a friend," Marly said, "He's this like, hot asian guy- what do you call it, a twink?"

Shane felt his eyes grow even wider. Ilya had a hand over his mouth now to keep himself from either laughing or screaming.

"-total coincidence on the asian part, dude, y'know," Marleau rambled, "But somehow we started talking about how maybe I'd like to give it the good ol' college try, so he was like let's do it. He came over, and he sucked my dick which, woah dude, you're so right, guys just know what they're doing, right?"

"Yes," Ilya confirmed, voice flat from trying to keep it together.

"-so he blows me, right?" Marleau was clearly getting into the story now, sounding fond in a strangely endearing way as he talked about this hook-up, "and it was like, holy shit, dude, and he was like, it's fine, just come, so I came in his mouth, and I thought, y'know, we'd just stop but he was like, do you still want to fuck me? So we just kinda made out for a while until I was ready to go again, and I tried sucking his dick and shit, dude it's so hard!"

Shane sat there, completely frozen. He knew, obviously, that Marly and Ilya shared sex stories much more openly than Shane ever had with any of his male friends (he did share some things with Rose, but not like this). But the level of detail was astounding.

"Did you like it?" Ilya asked, "Sucking dick?"

Shane thanked every available entity that their bungalow was very, very private.

"Um, yeah, I guess? It was interesting, I didn't not like it."

"Maybe you need to try again, a few times," Ilya suggested idly.

"Yeah, dude, for sure. So, once I was ready to go again he, like, got on top- I didn't even know two guys could do it cowgirl- or I guess, cowboy- style, it's fucking awesome, you learn something new everyday! But he said, since my dick's so big he need to kind of be in control, and so he rode me."

"Wow," Ilya intercepted.

"Yeah, it was fucking awesome, dude. Like, I've done anal before with girls but it's obviously different but just seeing him get off like that from it was so fucking nice, like I get what you said about Hollander coming on your dick being so fucking awesome-"

Shane gasped, slapping Ilya's thigh, feeling himself blush violently. Ilya grabbed his wrist and held his hand there, giving him a very unconvincingly apologetic grin.

"So, yeah, it was super fucking hot." Shane could hear the self-satisfied grin in Marleau's voice.

"Are you going to fuck him again?" Ilya asked.

"Dunno, maybe," Marly replied, a little too causal. There was a two-second pause, then he added, "So, uh... how did you figure out you were bi?"

"Marly, I think you are past this now," Ilya told him dryly. "I am taking credit for this by the way."

"You can, brother!" Marleau laughed, "You got me onto something."

"Yes." Now Ilya was the one looking self-satisfied. "Next time, you must try eating his ass."

"Woah, dude. Wait, let me write this down."

"Oh my god," Shane whispered, letting his forehead fall to the edge of their breakfast table.

"Do you think I will get better at hockey now?" Marly asked, sounding entirely too serious.

"Yes, of course," Ilya answered just as seriously, "Statistically, having gay sex makes you better at hockey. Will be good for Boston, ah? Better do it some more."

"On it, Cap," Marley replied.

Shane also always makes sure to mention how big his dick got since the last time they've seen each other. How nicely he has grown...

The best thing is! When it comes to topping, he gets to choose the size! He always gets to choose the size!

He is stocked up, i imagine him having a full collection of strap-ons, always pulling out the right size from the toolbox.

No wonder he's everyone's favourite, the man always has the right equipment with him to please a lover.

There is one strap he only keeps for Shane, though. Their relationship deepens when one time after a hookup, they shop online for a dildo that Shane wants to try out. Shane is blushing the whole time, feeling too greedy, tries to reassure Ilya that it's Not that he didn't enjoy the previous times, he just really wants to experiment and and-

While Ilya is just laughing to himself, already anticipating the next time they can meet and try it.

I also. Perhaps. Perchance. Would like to put it out there that myIlya owns a strapless strap where the other side of it goes inside him because sometimes he Does get needy and since neither of them are comfortable with Shane topping, it is the only possible solution. And the harder he thrusts into Shane, the harder it hits his own g-spot and also his tdick, and Shane absolutely goes batshit crazy when he starts to feel Ilya's thrusts getting greedier and harsher as he's chasing his own orgasm..... Maybe they come at the same time, as a little treat....Ilya pulsing around the strap and shaking for a good few minutes...it feels so good to fuck his Shane, to make his Shane feel so soo good while he also feels so so good and filled... Everyone wins...

Goodnight... (It's 11AM...)

And no one is ever ready for the switch, and even after it happens they can never fully prepare themselves for what they’re going to get. Shane has learned that when he’s going to do that he should take them aside to give them the card rather than in front of people

Once Shane feels comfortable with Hayden as a genuinely good friend in his birthday card that year he writes out a whole thing about how he’s always wanted a best friend like other kids had but never had one and had accepted he never would, and then Hayden came into his life and gave him a level of love and friendship he never thought he would get and he loves everything about Hayden and can’t wait to be by his side as friends and brothers for the rest of their lives. Hayden fully breaks down and loses it, Jackie notices they’ve been gone a while and walks into the kitchen to see Hayden hugging Shane and sobbing into his shoulder. She raises her eyebrows at Shane and Shane just gives her the OK sign and goes back to rubbing Hayden’s back

Ilya learns about the card thing when it’s yunas birthday and he notices her opening Shane’s card like she’s deactivating a bomb. She stares silently as she reads it and Ilya starts freaking out a little when she starts to tear up and then pulls Shane in for a long silent hug. He looks at it later and sees that Shane wrote about how the last year made him realize over again how lucky he is to have someone as strong and supportive as her as a mother and he hopes to one day be half the parent to his own kids as she was to him

When it’s their first time having Ilya’s birthday together he’s legitimately nervous because this is his first Shane Card and he doesn’t know what to expect and part of him is afraid he’s built it up too much in his head and Shane won’t have as nice things to say as he did with other people. And then he opens the envelope and there’s no card but instead multiple pieces of paper because Shane couldn’t fit it all into a limited space. Ilya spends the better part of the next hour walking around the house reading it, taking breaks occasionally to cry or hyperventilate before going back to reading it because holy shit does Shane Hollander love him. Like he knew logically that Shane did but now he’s got pages and pages of Shane walking him through his feelings over the last decade of their life and every moment he remembered and cherished. Shane finally catches up to him and he’s on the floor of the kitchen, face a splotchy red mess, chugging Gatorade because he’s dehydrated from crying