Elec!!

In honour of the 0.0.241 hotfix patch to chapter 5, feel free to claim your commemorative profile stamp here:

alternate under cut

my (probably not) unique experience with Spamton, 2021 up to until about a month ago.

Image text (and a bit more elaboration) under the cut cus this is lowkey incomprehensible

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I Won't Say I'm in Love - Spamtenna animatic

i'm a month late but heyheyhey I think the very lucky day of Friday the 13th suits them better! below is the youtube link!

tenns re-telling of the events around the contract should logically be biased in his favor, but even in this version he doesnt make himself sound very good. saying he “sweet-talked” spamton, mentioning that he noticed spamtons visible fear (“his face turned pale”), and then went for the phone anyways (“it was finally my chance to be a big shot”) all make him come across as selfish and manipulative. its only after recounting these events that he furiously calls spamton a freak and accuses him of being a scammer, but tenna tends to redirect every negative emption he has into angry outbursts (#autism).

it feels far more like he feels such suffocating guilt and shame (regardless of how justified that guilt is) that the only way to cope is to tell himself that spamton never cared anyways, because forgetting spamton isnt possible. its why his anger is so overblown and outrageous, yet hes more panicked when he sees spamton. its not GENUINE anger, its the way hes coping with the remorse he feels.

i find it very telling that in the z-rank room, the posters with spamtons face on them are undamaged, but the mirror is smashed, as if tenna couldnt stand to look at himself.

Yes!! This is exactly what I've been saying as well!! The mirror is shattered because Tenna couldn't stand to look at his own reflection!!

Importantly, Tenna's anger issues are also intensified by trauma (it's a common consequence of trauma), and with Spamton it's also anger as a stage of grief.

From Tenna's perspective, Spamton got that phone call, clearly panicked, ran away and never came back, and hasn't been heard from since. Tenna has no idea what exactly happened, just that it was something terrible, or where Spamton is now, and considering that it's been years, he probably thinks he lost Spamton forever, possibly to death (though in actuality this is only true if Chapter 2's Weird Route was completed).

The stages of grief aren't experienced as a neat linear progression, and going through multiple at the same time isn't unusual. Tenna is definitely experiencing both denial ("Spamton didn't go missing, he chose to abandon me!") and anger (at himself, but kinda towards Spamton as well, "why did you leave me?"; it's not a rational feeling, but people may feel this way towards dead loved ones).

The grief that Tenna is experiencing gets completely missed surprisingly often, and it leads to various mischaracterizations, like him being depicted as genuinely hating Spamton (or still being angry at him after the reunion despite the fact that Spamton clearly went through something terrible), him being diagnosed with something that doesn't actually fit his characterization, etc.

It is also really weird for people to think that Spamton should apologize to Tenna. For what?? Him running away was clearly a result of panic, and him not coming back (assuming that he still could at the time of his eviction) was because he wasn't able to call Tenna and was tricked into believing that he got abandoned.

Now, there's a distinction between "he should apologize" vs "he would apologize".

For example, Tenna would apologize to Spamton, since he believes he forced Spamton into a contract that resulted in him getting hurt, but it'd be wrong to say that he "should" apologize, since Spamton signed willingly, certainly aware of the risk and willing to take it, and him getting hurt wasn't Tenna's fault and he doesn't blame Tenna for it.

Similarly, I think Spamton would apologize for ever doubting Tenna and actually believing that he got abandoned, but to say that he "should" apologize for (as a lot of people apparently believe) "abandoning" Tenna is incorrect. He Did Not Fucking Do That. He did not knowingly make the decision to run away (it was a panic response), and he did not choose not to come back while knowing that Tenna wanted him back (he thought he got abandoned).

Like, do people think he chose to be homeless?? You think if he had known it was an option and could've come back to Tenna, he wouldn't have, at least for his own selfish reason?? (It's not the actual main reason why he would've wanted to come back, but we're talking about people who often do present him as really selfish, even though he willingly made a huge sacrifice for his partner.)

You know, I say "do people think he chose to be homeless", but like... That seems to actually be what many people unironically believe about homelessness - that it's some sort of choice/lifestyle or moral failing (rather than a systemic one). Because they've never actually heard from even a single homeless (or formerly homeless) person and just think of the homeless as, like, an Other that makes them uncomfortable or whatever. And of course, mentally ill people are seen that way as well, so when you have a guy who's both, that compounds.

I think many people are completely unable or unwilling to sympathize with Spamton, most likely because they don’t see him as a character who has just as much depth and nuance as any of the protagonists do; they either see him as a joke character, in large part due to his disabilities and homelessness (and as someone who actually has been unhoused in the past, I hate the way a lot of this fandom treats Spamton like he’s “gross” on purpose, or just chooses not to bathe, or like he’s less worthy of being taken seriously because of this, or like any of it is his own fault), or they’re unable to separate normal Spamton from Weird Route Spamton — which is the worst possible version of him. It’s like if people took Undyne as a character and only focused on what she does in the Undertale ending where she becomes a military dictator intent on destroying the human race, or only saw Mettaton as the guy that makes the Underground into a dystopia and brainwashes everyone. Everyone has the potential to do good things and terrible things, depending on outside influence from the player. That’s literally the point of these games. On the normal route, Spamton unequivocally does a good and selfless thing, and sacrifices the thing he holds most dear, his autonomy, in order to help Kris and their friends do what he never could: find their own freedom.

No, Spamton and Tenna don’t genuinely want to kill each other, and it would take a LOT to get them to that point, I think. All their anger stems from misunderstandings that can be resolved, and it’s mostly just to cover up how badly they still need each other. Otherwise Spamton would’ve actually tried to hurt Tenna at some point in ch3 like he yelled about doing for so long, instead of waiting until he thought Tenna might really care about him to come out and try to make up with him. And it’s crystal clear how worried Tenna is about Spamton in the ch5 cutscene — he does NOT want Spamton to be hurt. I don’t know how people still think they actually want to harm each other when they’ve proven they don’t. (I will say, I think a lot of the slapstick stuff comes from Toby comparing spamtenna to Spy vs Spy in a Bluesky post from last June, although to be honest, I’m genuinely not sure just how seriously he meant for us to take that.)

The thing I think Tenna actually needs to apologize for is what he said in the pipis scene. I fully understand he was falling apart and completely panicking given the insane circumstances, but still, Tenna saw Spamton for the first time in ten years, saw how he looked, and his reaction in the heat of the moment was to call Spamton an unidentifiable thing and a rat. This made Spamton not want to come out of the inventory again. Regardless of the fact it was a panicked reaction that he probably didn’t fully mean, Tenna still needs to apologize for those words.

Tenna is absolutely experiencing some pretty severe disenfranchised grief (grief others can’t fully understand or acknowledge, because no one seems to know or care much about what “that mailman” actually meant to Tenna) on top of constantly feeling that he could be thrown out by his own family at any moment and then be killed — and Tenna’s been living this way for ten years with a very small and ineffective support system who are just making things worse in many ways, even if they’re trying to help. It’s implied that Tenna never even really opened up to anyone about his grief and guilt over Spamton until the ch5 cutscene. This would take a severe toll on anyone’s mental health after so long, and explains so much of Tenna’s behavior; in fact, I’m surprised he’s not even worse off than he is. Tenna’s grief over Spamton, and the unbearable guilt of feeling that he could be responsible for his death, is objectively a huge influence and weight on Tenna’s character and psyche. (This is what really confuses me about all the people who adore Tenna so much but completely refuse to acknowledge Spamton’s importance to him. You don’t have to like Spamton, but you are removing a fundamental part of your “favorite character” by pretending Spamton doesn’t even exist.) And it’s very clear that Tenna will never be able to fully make peace with himself or his life unless he’s able to talk to Spamton about all of this.

Canon Spamtenna, who deeply love each other, fit really well with the theme of "nobody gets to choose who they are in this world" as a couple that tried to defy what they're "supposed" to be and got punished for it. Their story being one of forbidden love also works as a neat allegory for queer and interracial relationships. (As for the Spy vs Spy thing, my read on that is that it was clearly a comparison of the degree of similarity between the two characters in each duo, not a comparison of the dynamics. That's what Toby was talking about, that they're intentionally similar characters.)

I forgot about the pipis cutscene when I was talking about the apologies and yeah, Tenna should apologize for that, and I think he will. He's definitely gonna feel bad about what he said, especially once he realizes how much Spamton already hated his own body.

Another thing related to people acting like Spamton just chooses not to bathe/is gross on purpose: I'm not a fan of people depicting big shot era Spamton as being dirty/not caring about making a mess as well. I only recall seeing it once, but I really didn't like that. It's one of those "I have no idea where you're getting this from" things, aside from just assuming that his dirtiness now is a Personality Trait rather than a result of his circumstances, when it's clearly the latter.