pure empathy

the other day i learned that taking a long time to fall asleep is called “sleep latency” which is just the funniest thing to me tbh

me, tossing and turning until 2 am: the lag…

if you ever feel safe please remember that im out there

I was a professional juggler for like five years and all of my friends politely pretend it never happened.

Sometimes I will be holding three or more similarly sized objects and they will all shoot me the kind of warning glances typically reserved for cats who are about to swipe a fresh and crispy fish stick from a small child’s hand.

I gaze wistfully at a basket of apples and they all think, “Don’t you FUCKING dare,” so hard that I take psychic damage.

New year new me! All my bones have been replaced