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"anti is an insult/slur-" "singlet is an insult/slur-"
son if you take a descriptor that alienates you from our community (or even moreso, a community you loathe) as an insult you're just a snowflake tf ? whats next? karen is a slur? get a load of this craKKKer
My blog is open to interactions from all. This isn't a safe space for anyone who targets radqueers and ex radqueers.
The fact most "antis" only focus on transIDs when they're attacking radqueers is so frustrating to me. For most people (and especially ones that don't fit the social norms) radqueer community is the last option after being ostracized and shamed everywhere they go. There are real and active problems in the community and all "antis" do is talk about whether transabled kids are a danger to society or not.
The problem with radqueer ideology isn't supporting transIDs (though, it's up to debate for many whether they can be harmful or not but this post is about more serious issues, bear with me), it's not the paraphilia acceptance, and it's definitely not the anti-censorship. The actual problems in the radqueer community are the lack of proper risk informed kink education (yes, even if it's conabuse dynamic), lack of action against abusers and the overall "don't like don't look" mindset being applied to real people that hold & spread actually harmful beliefs in a community filled with young people being drawn to all this new information. Don't scroll by yet, let me explain.
This is coming from someone who used to be a popular blog and an influential personality in the community, someone who lived through this, not an outsider. What I figured out is that there were barely any actual activism outside of people liking Tumblr posts, and the whole "accept Everyone no matter what they believe in" mentality there makes people think it's never okay to criticize other's beliefs and thoughts. So little people actually call out harmful beliefs. Yes, accepting people you don't agree with is good but without educating them on harms of these ideals and stopping them from spreading their beliefs (example: people who believe animals can consent) that community can easily turn, and did turn into a hunting ground for malicious people. Actual predators found it an easy ground to lurk in, pretending they're part of the community because where else would they go if not the community where every stance is accepted? Along with the whole "you can always lie about your age" and "only you know if you can consent or not" misconceptions/encouragements being allowed, and even supported by many, makes it a very dangerous space to be in. Especially for a chrono teen, which is majority of the community.
So yeah no, transID isn't the problem. I use countless transIDs and I'm healthy, happy and thriving. I don't hangout in radqueer spaces anymore and I'm no longer facing harrassment from antis despite me being open about my identities. I learned a lot after leaving the radqueer community and I learned that there is a world out there that WILL happily accept me as who I am. I now know how consent really works and what kind of people I should avoid to reduce potential harm.
My transIDs and paraphilias didn't hurt me, what hurt me was the ideology that blindly accepted people with harmful beliefs and turned everything into a popularity contest or harrassment campaign rather than listening to those who want to call out these people. What hurt me was antis sending me death threats for what labels I use for my identity. And I don't blame most of the people there. Once you're stuck in an echo chamber, it's easy to believe you're forming your own opinions when you're just repeating what everyone else is repeating (and sometimes calling you a fake rad for disagreeing). I know because I was there and I was very supportive of the pro-cs as a teen, without really questioning why I support them or why they should be part of the community. I know how much of a slippery slope "acceptance for all" can be if you refuse to call out harmful beliefs being spread in your community.
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ex rq? so like,,, you dont support all forms of plurality, transids and paraphiles anymore?
Bad faith ask, but I'll entertain you for the sake of the argument.
Albeit I have a feeling I know who sent this. If this is truly you, I'm sorry, but this is genuinely a bad question to ask and makes no sense, and it upset me.
Short answer:
I support ALL transIDs, I support ALL paraphilias, and I support all forms of plurality. That is never going to change. But I do not want to be considered a part of a community where I have to explain basic child grooming and racism.
The very question actively poses radqueer as cultish, solely because you are implying you need to be radqueer to be pro-transID, pro-endo and pro-para. You do not. Many people have radqueer-aligned ideals without being radqueer or even knowing about radqueer ideology.
Beyond that, I do wish to remain in contact with the aspects of radqueer I find acceptable. I just don't want to be considered radqueer.
But for now, this is still up in the air, and we will evaluate our decision carefully.
Long answer:
My ultimate desire is to find a community like radqueer that is inherently open-minded, paraphilia-friendly, and actively refuses to judge people based on their identities.
As a collective, we are a MAP, necrophile & some of us are zoophiles. I recognize that ultimately, I am not going to be accepted by the anti-radqueer crowd. We are the coiner of NIWS and co-founder of NIN, making us ultimately the very creator of a Litmus test for how radically accepting a radqueer can actually be. Spoiler alert: a good chunk of you aren't.
Being a part of the community itself has been an incredible journey and we are deeply thankful for the friends we've made along the way. Some of you are a daily reminder that life is worth living, and we can still build something beautiful. I love my friends deeply, but even they recognize the numerous amount of issues RQC has.
Perhaps, this makes me part of the problem: that instead of changing it from within, I actively escape it like a coward dodging his country's struggles. I salute those who have the noble aim of turning RQC into something genuinely safe. But to me, I'm sorry, I cannot do this anymore.
My own obsession with truth-seeking and desire for my environment to fully conform to my standards has been actively grinding against being a part of RQC. I have to compromise on my own self-imposed morals to coexist. I've tried my best to curate my experience to the best of my ability, and I have had reasonable success with it. But I can't help but feel like there is more that can be done to find a community for myself.
This is a choice we're making solely for our own mental health and wellbeing. The break started when we realised that our ideal partner is never going to be in radqueer community.
Having a partner, building a connection deeply intimate and romantic, is our ultimate goal. Radqueer community has failed to produce such a person. Besides, a good amount of radqueers are beings chronologically below 18 years of age, to say nothing of those that are actually in our chronoage group.
Seeking for another adult that actively has a job and has experience we can exchange with each other is not something I have had any success with. A good amount of it is our own fault, I concede - we entered the Radqueer community still deeply hurt from relationship trauma, angered and unhealed. Many of you remember us as that person. It is your call and I respect that. But now that we are better, we're looking to find a more appropriate space for this goal.
We do not have anything against radqueers themselves. We do not consider ourself anti-radqueer. We consider ourself rq-critical, something between radqueer and anti-radqueer, perhaps syncretic (hello, synqueer that never saw the light of day!). We will still likely interact with a sizeable chunk of radqueer community, just never align ourself as specifically strictly radqueer (or anti, for that matter).
As of right now, this is a choice we are still debating. Our in-system turmoil has been turning this into a somewhat difficult decision. We have a lot on our plate, even without deciding where to belong. We are going to consider where are we going next... but only once this phantom pain lets up.
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Just found out this post exists? Out of all people, Huey would want to read Baki? That's surprising, considering how much he LARPs as a straight (and pathetic) man. I guess you can't override all of our collective interests with your identity after all...
No contact pro-para communities, rqc alternatives and more
List of some of the pro para (anti-c) communities, radqueer alternatives and similar communities I found, including short explanations of their general beliefs and flags. I will update this time to time so check the reblogs if interested.
Disclaimer:
Pro/complex/neutral-contact communities will not be listed in this post.
I will not add bigoted labels and extremely anti-everything, pro-everything or very radqueer positive communities (labels strictly tied to to rqc or in favor of their ideology will not be posted). There are already a bazillion "blankqueer" stances and I don't want to promote any potentially harmful (or abandoned) community.
Just because I listed a community here doesn't mean I'm a part of it. Everything added will be unbiased and for educational purposes.
Don't bring discourse or personal drama here.
Click on the titles for their original coin posts. If the links are unavailable, check my reblogs.
Fleur 🌷☄️
"Fleur is an acronym that stands for Freedom, Liberation, Equity, Unity, and Respect. Fleur’s symbol and name are derived from the asteroid 8 Flora. A member of the Fleur community can be called a Fleuraison, or a Fleurson if you want to be a little silly."
Pro: All queer identities, MOGAI/LIOM, transID, all forms of multiplicity, all religions, paraphilias, fetishes and kinks.
Neu: Consanguinity
Not in favor of: Radqueer, Exclusionism, Bigotry and/or harm targeted at non-consenting parties, Abuse targeted at non-consenting parties, Censorship, Xenosatanism, LSDqueer, basedqueer, hypoharmful, and any term that condones or encourages abuse and harm targeted at non-consenting parties.
Personal Notes: Fleur has a Tumblr community here. For more details on stances, check either the pinned post in the community or the original link provided.
Shimmerqueer 🌈💠
"SHIMMERQUEER is a stance that, while not mutually exclusive with radqueerness, sets clearer bounds to prevent the perpetuation or promotion of harm."
Pro: Anti-contact paraphiles, contradictory identities / good faith, fiction / ship, all plurals, chosen recovery, alter / nonhumanity including physical, harm reduction and pro choice.
Complex: TransID (leaning pro) and transID transition.
Anti: Contact, abuse, incest, consanguinity, RPF without consent, harassment, fakeclaiming, faking (specific) transIDs as cis/natIDs, "agreeing-to-disagree" on contact stances and gen AI.
Personal Notes: In case the original link breaks, click here for the archive.
No-Act Paraphile Movement
"NO-ACT stands for "Non-Offending, Anti-Contact, Taboo" and is a movement for paraphiles who are against sexual contact with minors, theriform animals, and non-consenting people, but pro-kink and other means of safe sexual expression. The goal of this movement is for paraphilias to be destigmatized, alongside promoting abuse awareness and prevention, sexual education, and risk-aware sexual bodily autonomy. This is also a separatist movement, as NO-ACT paraphiles must disassociate entirely from beings who hold pro/neutral/complex contact stances if we ever want true destigmatization, acceptance, and abuse prevention."
Pro: Kink / RACK, fiction, (And encourages finding healthy ways to express taboo paraphilias. Everything like roleplay, kink, art, fiction writing, special effects in films, and other fictional outlets), bodily autonomy in all aspects, (Whether it's the right to an abortion, euthanasia, rejecting treatment, or risk-aware sex), consang, as long as it is between two consenting adults who do not have a power imbalance.
Against: Pederasty/youth age gap relationships, child sexual abuse material, bestiality, bestial material, rape, and all other forms of non-consensual sexual contact or creation of sexual exploitation material, pro/neutral/complex contact stances, non consensual sex with the dead, non consensual sleep sex, xenosatanist, sexual contact with minors, theriform animals, and other non-consenting beings.
Personal Notes: NO-ACT movement mostly focuses on paraphilias and harm reduction.
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